Saturday 18 January 2014

TV Review: HOSTAGES and HOUSE OF FOOLS

This article was originally published in The Courier on 18th January 2014.


Hostages: Saturday, Channel 4

House of Fools: Tuesday, BBC2

Paul Whitelaw

Readers, I'm stunned. And not a little impressed. Channel 4's latest US import, Hostages, established itself as a steaming pile of horse manure within its first five minutes. That must be some kind of record.

Instantly notable for its dreadful quotidian dialogue – everyone speaks entirely in clunky exposition – this nonsensical thriller began with a mind-blowingly stupid sequence in which a stubble-jawed FBI agent declared his maverick credentials by taking control of a siege situation and shooting a hostage.

Huh? But wait! Our man, our brilliant, brilliant man, had in fact correctly surmised that a cunning armed robber had swapped clothes with a bank employee in a bid to escape. How could he be sure? The ersatz hostage's boots didn't match his business suit. It was one helluva risk, but he's just that kinda guy.

Resembling a constipated David Schwimmer, this wayward genius confirmed his unorthodox approach to law enforcement by invading the home of the President's personal physician (Toni Collette, a fine actress cast adrift) and ordering her to kill him during an imminent bout of surgery. Failure to comply will result in the assassination of her charmless family. So far, so high concept.

It's not necessarily a bad central conceit – 24 managed to wangle eight seasons from such enjoyable daftness – but Hostages squanders its potential by being so catastrophically laughable.

I particularly enjoyed the highly conspicuous albino operative who's supposedly a master of disguise, and the rogue FBI agents creeping stealthily through Collette's garden. Cue stirrings from the family pooch. “I got the dog,” whispered Agent # 1 solemnly, like Jack Bauer staking out a pet shop. Mercifully, the dog was spared. These guys aren't all bad.

This can't be happening,” sobbed Collette, with understandable conviction. By the time she revealed, during a supposedly high-stakes sequence, that her security password was “Ringo Starr”, I was convinced the sense-addled writers had orchestrated the whole thing as some sort of desperate cry for help.

Like Michael Haneke's Funny Games hijacked by the Chuckle Brothers, Hostages heaves with all the idiocy and emptiness we've come to expect from its executive producer, Hollywood schlockmeister Jerry Bruckheimer.

What's behind the kidnapper's plan? Who cares? Will they end up forming an unexpected bond with Colette's family? Inevitably! And so it goes on. “Sometimes you have to do a bad thing for a good reason,” explained Agent Schwimmer, helpfully. Inadvertent hilarity aside, what's Hostages' excuse?

Channel 4 are obviously banking on this being an addictive replacement for the ailing Homeland. Fat chance. When the novelty value of its awfulness subsides, viewers will abandon this trussed-up turkey in droves.

By cheerful contrast, Vic and Bob's delightfully daft sitcom House of Fools deserves to be a hit. Continuing proof that, when given the opportunity, they're capable of devising relatively accessible mainstream entertainment while compromising none of their unique comic voice, it's delivered with all the infectiously self-indulgent gusto for which they're so beloved.

Finally free from the over-egged constraints of Shooting Stars, the pair seem energised by the chance to throw everything they've got – absurd characters, winningly contrived groaners, crude silliness, wordplay, sight gags, puppetry, songs and slapstick - at the traditional sitcom format (everything, from the saucy 1970s theme tune to the beige living room set, suggests Reg Varney and Yootha Joyce in a cracked hall of mirrors).

An admittedly mixed barrage of gags wisely tethered to the sketchiest of plots – Bob's thwarted mission to watch Conan the Barbarian on TV with his new girlfriend – episode one was a knockabout, charming pleasure. Never mind Mrs Brown's Boys, this is how I like my old-fashioned entertainment.

It's heartening to note that, even after all this time, these peerless clowns still take such delight in making people laugh by entertaining themselves.

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