PAUL O'GRADY: FOR THE LOVE OF DOGS | COLIN FROM ACCOUNTS | RAIN DOGS

This article was originally published in The Courier on 8th April 2023.

NEXT WEEK’S TV

Paul O’Grady: For the Love of Dogs – Thursday, STV, 8:30pm

When Paul O’Grady passed away recently at the untimely age of 67, the multitude of tributes spoke volumes. 

This was no mere showbiz personality. He was beloved, unique, a naturally funny and thoroughly decent human being whose kindness was informed by his lifelong loathing of social injustice. 

I can’t, off the top of my head, think of another acerbic working-class socialist drag queen who became – and he always understandably blanched at this mantle – a national treasure. 

We’ll miss him. Hence why this final series of For the Love of Dogs, recorded not long before he died, will be a bittersweet viewing experience. A reliably lovely show hosted by a reliably lovely man. RIP.

Designing the Hebrides – Monday, BBC Scotland, 10pm/Wednesday, BBC Two, 8pm

The talented interior designer Banjo Beale (great name, great guy) fronts this charming new series in which he gets his own business off the ground. 

Beale, who was born in Australia, has lived on the Isle of Mull for the last eight years. In episode one, the BBC’s Interior Design Masters winner is tasked with transforming a traditional family-run Tobermory fish shop while making sure to retain its tasteful heritage. 

Along the way he seeks advice from his husband Ro and a supportive team of merrily toiling artisan recruits. “This is my first big commercial job here on Mull,” he declares. “If I don’t get it right there will be no more.” SPOILER: There will be more.

Colin from Accounts – Tuesday, BBC Two, 10pm

Written by and starring husband-and-wife team Patrick Brammall and Harriet Dyer, this likeable, dry-witted Australian comedy revolves around Gordon and Ashley, a rather dysfunctional and seemingly mismatched couple who ‘meet cute’ when Gordon accidentally hits an adorable little dog with his car. 

As you would expect, Brammall and Dyer share a natural chemistry, they bounce off each other nicely. Fumbling awkwardness can sometimes be an irritating comic conceit, but Colin from Accounts uses it as a starting point for some satisfying silliness and sharp lines. This is not your standard rom-com. 

And just in case you’re wondering, the meaning behind that title is explained towards the end of episode one. 

Rain Dogs – Tuesday, BBC One, 10:40pm

In episode two of this excellent black comedy-drama about a group of misfits barely scraping by, we spend some time with single mum Costello (Daisy May Cooper) as she goes through the motions of her unloved day job in a Soho peep show. 

Costello prefers making a bit of money from posing as a cleaner for a sleazy yet harmless old alcoholic artist played by Adrian Edmondson. We also discover that she’s a talented writer.

Rain Dogs is a refreshingly blunt and bitterly funny attack on the ways in which people living on the breadline are cruelly disregarded by right-wingers and patronised by shallow middle-class liberals. Both groups misunderstand the likes of Costello and her surrogate family. 

Stacey Dooley: Ready for War? – Wednesday, BBC Three, 9pm

Dooley’s latest investigative report follows a group of young Ukrainian civilians as they arrive in the UK for five weeks of intensive army training. They will be taught how to kill and how to survive in the war against Russia. 

“This isn’t training on the off chance that one day they may end up in a warzone,” says Dooley, “this is them seriously preparing themselves to be on that frontline in five weeks’ time.” 

Her interviewees include a welder who is prepared to give his life in order for his child to grow up in a free country, and a florist who has family members already fighting on the frontline. As always, Dooley asks all the right questions and listens. 

Unreported World – Friday, Channel 4, 7:30pm

Lebanon is currently in the grip of a catastrophic banking crisis. The so-called ‘Switzerland of the Middle East’ crashed back in 2019. Over a million Lebanese people have been locked out of their bank accounts; if they’re lucky, they can withdraw a few hundred pounds a month. 

The latest series of Channel 4’s long-running foreign affairs strand kicks off with the story of an utterly desperate couple who are planning to rob a bank. It’s the only way to get hold of their savings. 

Your roving reporter Krishnan Guru-Murthy illustrates just how dire things are. Lebanon’s government is paralysed and its banks resemble fortresses. The people are angry, revolution is in the air 

Late Night Lycett – Friday, Channel 4, 10pm

Two weeks ago, Joe Lycett signed off the first episode of his latest comedy vehicle with these poignant words: “This one’s for Paul O’Grady”. 

It was no mere showbiz platitude; Late Night Lycett is infused with O’Grady’s recently departed spirit. He would’ve loved the daft chaos and pointed subversion of this thoroughly inclusive hoot of alternative light entertainment hosted by a vocally left-wing gay comedian gleefully needling bores and bigots. 

It’s a live show, so God only knows what Friday’s episode will involve, but this much I can guarantee: it won’t be drab. The sly, unflappable Lycett was born to do this, he’s finally found a TV format to suit his talents.

LAST WEEK’S TV

Magpie Murders – Saturday 1st April, BBC One

The great Lesley Manville stars in this meta-textual murder mystery as a literary editor whose comfortable life is capsized when one of her most successful authors delivers an unfinished manuscript. 

Why is the last chapter missing? The ailing and preternaturally cantankerous author has apparently taken his own life. 

Magpie Murders is admirably ambitious for a mainstream show of this nature. A la The Singing Detective, writer Anthony Horowitz weaves the melancholy period exploits of a fictional sleuth into his present-day narrative. 

However, it’s all a bit too arch for its own good. I welcome the cleverness and irony, but I don’t find it particularly engaging as a piece of entertainment. It feels so far like a theoretical exercise.

Highland Cops – Sunday 2nd April, BBC Scotland

This resolutely solemn frontline series follows Police Scotland’s Highlands and Islands Division as they go about their daily crime and emergency-solving business in an otherwise beautiful part of the world. 

It began with an investigation into suspected deer poaching, the seizure of some illegal drugs being sent through the post, a nocturnal detour into the apparently widespread problem of antisocial drivers in their souped-up cars, and the rigorous yet ultimately fruitless search for a missing survival expert. 

That last case lingered as the closing credits rolled, there was no uplifting coda: the poor man still hasn’t been found. 

Highland Cops is a solidly-crafted addition to an unstoppable TV genre. It fulfils its duty.

CONSENT | PUTIN vs THE WEST | THE REAL NOLLY

This article was originally published in The Courier on 4th February 2023.

NEXT WEEK’S TV

Consent – Tuesday, Channel 4, 10pm

This standalone drama takes place at an elite private school. 

It’s a breeding ground for future leaders, where obnoxious male students do whatever they want without fear of being held accountable. Female students are constantly subjected to sexual harassment ‐ or “banter”, as their toxic abusers call it. 

Archie seems different, however. He’s more sensitive. Archie has fallen for Natalie, and the feeling is mutual. Archie was born rich, whereas Natalie has won a scholarship. At a drunken party, Archie is peer‐pressured into sleeping with Natalie. She doesn’t consent. 

What follows is an acutely angering study of victim‐blaming and institutional corruption. An important piece, Consent is based on hundreds of testimonies from both the state and private school sectors.

Food Fest Scotland – Monday, BBC Scotland, 8:30pm

Those old Radio 1 compadres Edith Bowman and Colin Murray are the hosts of this genial time‐passer, in which they visit some of Scotland’s most popular food festivals. 

We find ourselves vicariously enjoying the Peebles Show in episode one. Bowman’s encounter with a world‐renowned chocolatier is among the gentle highlights. 

Meanwhile, off the coast of North Berwick, chef Julie Lin goes fishing for mackerel. She explains why this relatively inexpensive Scottish superfood should be a nutritious cornerstone of all non‐vegetarian diets. 

Lin also provides some sound snacking advice for people, such as your humble correspondent, who work every day from home. There’s more to life than crisps, apparently.

Putin vs the West – Monday, BBC Two, 9pm

In episode two of this typically authoritative essay from documentarian Norma Percy, Russian President Vladimir Putin asserts his presence in the Middle East. 

The Arab Spring uprisings encourage leaders in the West to enlist Putin as a much‐needed peacemaker. David Cameron feels he’s struck up some sort of mutual agreement with Putin, they seem to be getting somewhere. Putin then declares his support for Assad. 

If you’re unfamiliar with Percy’s style, it basically boils down to this: she weaves morally complex narratives populated by powerful politicians whose accounts she doesn’t necessarily endorse. But we seldom see them talk so ‘openly’ on camera. 

The Shamima Begum Story – Tuesday, BBC Two, 9pm

At the age of 15, Shamima Begum ran away from London to join the terror group IS. Four years later, while pregnant with her third child, she desperately wanted to come home.

Begum had shown very little remorse for her time spent with the group, so the British authorities regarded her as an ongoing threat to national security. They revoked her citizenship. Begum’s lawyers argued that she was a victim of human trafficking, and should therefore be protected by the country of her birth. 

In this documentary, which wasn’t available for preview, she recounts her story in the company of an investigative journalist who’s been trying to get to the bottom of it all for nearly a decade.

Bradley & Barney Walsh: Breaking Dad – Tuesday, STV, 9pm

As their Costa Rican hi‐jinks continue, ‘Bradders’ and ‘Barn’ attempt to climb some 132ft trees in a cloud forest. Avid dog lovers, they also visit a sanctuary that’s home to 2000 free‐roaming canines. 

A journey into the countryside puts them in contact with a former Olympian, who facilitates a father‐and‐son kayak slalom, but that’s a small hill of beans compared to their encounter with a gentleman who shot to fame when he befriended a crocodile. 

Breaking Dad is a charming little show with zero pretensions. Bradley Walsh, a nice man, has some daft contrived adventures with Barney Walsh, a nice lad. Programmes of greater depth are available, but that’s not what this is for.  

Ghislaine: Partner in Crime – Thursday, ITVX

ITV are marketing this four‐part series as the definitive account of the relationship between convicted sex trafficker Ghislaine Maxwell and the paedophile Jeffrey Epstein. 

I’ve only seen episode one, but it immediately struck me as a dubious exercise in which testimonies from Maxwell and Epstein’s victims are spliced with adamant counterarguments from two of Maxwell’s siblings. 

Why are ITV giving these people a platform? They’re unreliable sources who refuse point blank to accept that their sister could’ve committed those heinous crimes. Their contributions don’t provide journalistic ‘balance’, they actively undermine the voices of the abused women who have chosen to come forward. 

Watch the far superior House of Maxwell instead, it’s still available on iPlayer.  

Travel Man: 48 Hours in Split – Friday, Channel 4, 8:30pm

Much like Bradley & Barney Walsh: Breaking Dad, this chummy travelogue doesn’t pretend to be anything other than an inoffensive scenic detour. 

Joe Lycett’s latest travelling companion is the comedian, actor and writer Aisling Bea. They’re in the Croatian city of Split, which must surely be the coolest name for a city in the entire history of human existence. Face facts, Las Vegas. 

Lycett and Bea don’t like fish, but they gamely rustle up a piscine dish under the tutelage of a local chef who’s determined to teach them the culinary ways of “a Croatian grandma”. Our hosts also investigate a maze of alleys and squares, and a museum full of stuffed frogs. They’re way ahead in Split.

LAST WEEK’S TV

The Real Nolly – Thursday 2nd February, ITVX

A companion piece to Russell T. Davies’ excellent drama about Crossroads star Noele Gordon, this documentary didn’t really add anything, but it was nice seeing footage of the actual Nolly in action. 

As Davies discovered during his research, Nolly was a showbiz all‐rounder of the old school who cared deeply about her work. Crossroads may have been a silly little soap opera, but it was a silly little soap opera that brought pleasure to millions. And she was adored by her colleagues, some of whom turned up to pay tribute. 

I find it rather pleasing that, such is Davies’ benign power within the industry, he’s got us all talking about this versatile trouper forty years after her heyday. 

Building Britain’s Superhomes – Wednesday 1st February, Channel 4

Guy Phoenix is renowned for creating colossal palaces for the mega‐rich. He’s not a qualified architect or interior designer, but by God he gets results. As he never tires of reminding us. 

This relentless migraine of a series follows Phoenix as he oversees ambitious builds while effing and jeffing like a try‐hard teenage rebel. I’m all for swearing, just as long as it’s delivered with some wit and proficiency. Phoenix is a dullard.

This is yet another tone deaf commission from our bubble‐dwelling TV overlords, who don’t understand that the last thing any of us want to see right now (or ever) is an aggressive celebration of extreme wealth. These programmes rub our noses in it, they’re an insult.

THREE MINUTES: A LENGTHENING | EVERYONE ELSE BURNS | HAPPY VALLEY

This article was originally published in The Courier on 21st January 2003. 

NEXT WEEK’S TV

Storyville – Three Minutes: A Lengthening – Tuesday, BBC Four, 10pm

On Thursday 4^th August 1938, photographer David Kurtz captured some informal silent film footage of the Jewish community based in the small Polish town of Nasielsk. Those haunting three minutes form the basis of this documentary. 

Nasielsk had 7,000 inhabitants in 1938, 3,000 of whom were Jewish. Fewer than a hundred of them survived the Holocaust. 

The only voices we hear throughout the film belong to narrator Helena Bonham Carter, Kurtz’s eloquent grandson, an actor quoting from contemporary accounts, and, remarkably, a survivor who grew up in Nasielsk before it was invaded by the Nazis. He’s able to put names to faces. 

This fragment of film brings ghosts back to life, it preserves their memories. They existed.

Robson Green’s Weekend Escapes – Monday to Friday, BBC Two, 6:30pm

In this cosy new series, Mr Affability visits various picturesque outdoor spots in the North East of England. He’s not alone, of course, each leg of his rural journey is enjoyed in the company of a celebrity chum. That’s how these shows must always operate. By law.

Guests this week include footballers Les Ferdinand and Jill Scott, actor Mark Benton and comedian Lost Voice Guy. However, in a shocking break from standard TV rules, he’s joined on Friday by members of his actual family. 

Weekend Escapes fulfils its unpretentious M.O. without any fuss. This is comfort viewing incarnate, an animated tapestry of pretty pictures populated by pleasant people indulging in mild banter. 

It’s winter, it’s freezing, it’ll do for now.

Everyone Else Burns – Monday, Channel 4, 10pm

Simon Bird stars in this new sitcom as the uptight patriarch of a puritanically religious family who believe the end times are a‐coming. They’ll be saved by the Rapture. 

I wasn’t impressed by the first two episodes, both of which go out on Monday. It’s fundamentally sympathetic towards the brainwashed followers of futile doomsday cults, that much is clear, but it falls short of its potential as a piece of character‐based social satire. 

The performances are fine, but the script is limp and obvious. Every attempted joke falls flat.

It’s frustrating, and I can’t help thinking how this bleak subject matter would be handled by Chris Morris, who once made a very funny, thoughtful film, Four Lions, about suicide bombers. 

Sort Your Life Out – Wednesday, BBC One, 9pm

The delightful Stacey Solomon has returned for another series of friendly life hacks. In episode one, we meet a family whose home is cluttered with unnecessary detritus. Solomon and co come to the rescue. 

Now, I’m instinctively suspicious of most programmes along these ‘life‐changing’ makeover lines, as they tend to judge people harshly. They sneer, poke, mock and belittle. But that’s not the Solomon way. 

It would appear that she actually gets to know these families, she engages sympathetically with the parents and children, so in the end you get the impression that everyone is genuinely satisfied. You’d hope so anyway. 

Such a misleadingly aggressive title, though. It sounds like something Dirty Den would bark at Angie.

My Kind of Town – Thursday, BBC Scotland, 8pm

I’m fully aware that this week’s column is preoccupied with travelogues, but I hope these outdoorsy recommendations provide you with some vicarious forms of escape from the January blues. 

If you haven’t seen this lovely little show before, it’s worth checking out. The latest episode finds Ian Hamilton and his guide dog Major exploring the Scottish Borders town of Hawick.

Iain Robertson Rambles – Thursday, BBC Scotland, 8:30pm

And the walks just keep on comin’. 

In this episode, the Scottish actor Iain Robertson concludes his epic 200 mile trek along The Hebdridean Way. He’s occasionally accompanied by a film crew, but for the most part it’s all filmed via Robertson’s light self‐affixed camera. We’re in the intimate presence of a ruminative man and his faithful dog friend, Mollie, both of them miles from anywhere while in the centre of something meaningful. 

As Robertson points out, communing with nature can do wonders for one’s mental health. 

Yes, there are some celebrity cameos ‐ actors Kevin McKidd and Alex Norton in this case ‐ but they enhance Robertson’s message: solitude and company exist in therapeutic tandem. 

Travel Man: 48 Hours in Salzburg – Friday, Channel 4, 8:30pm

Joe Lycett’s travelling companion this week is fellow comic Roisin Conaty. They are, as you’ve doubtless already gathered from the title, in the Austrian city of Salzburg. 

Food‐wise, they devour some schnitzel, strudel and Salzburg’s signature dark chocolate, marzipan and nougat sweet: Mozartkulgen, which translates into English as Mozart’s Balls. Salzburg’s most famous son would presumably see the funny side of that irreverent tribute. 

The Mozart theme continues during a visit to an imaginative art installation. Lycett and Conaty also check in to a luxury art‐filled hotel, visit a forest‐bathing workshop, and have the all‐singing time of their lives on Fraulein Maria’s Bicycle Tour, which takes in various locations from The Sound of Music.

LAST WEEK’S TV

Happy Valley – Sunday 15th January, BBC One

We’ve reached the halfway point of the final series of Sally Wainwright’s modern classic. I usually shy away from praise of that nature, as it tends to sound glib and excessive, but Happy Valley is a special case. 

The opening scene, in which Catherine and Clare confronted each other, was an acting and writing masterclass. No histrionics, just two people quietly dealing with a gamut of conflicted emotions. Wainwright understands how people actually communicate with each other.

As well as being a gripping thriller, Happy Valley is an empathetic meditation on physical and psychological abuse. Gas‐lighting narcissists cannot be reasoned with. We’re instinctively inclined to give people the benefit of the doubt, but those humane impulses are wasted on abusers. 

This Cultural Life: Ken Loach – Wednesday 18th January, BBC Four

For over fifty years, Ken Loach has been Britain’s foremost politically‐engaged left‐wing filmmaker. In the latest episode of this televised podcast, the great man sat down with journalist John Wilson to discuss some of his cultural touchstones. 

Formative memories included family visits to Blackpool where he enjoyed some of the great British comedians of the day, and the influence of 1960s Czech cinema on his exceptional body of work. Those films inspired him to capture “a life happening” on screen. 

Now aged 86, Loach remains a modest man driven by anger and compassion. With regards to his attitudes toward social injustice, this quote was key: “You can’t see it happen and be indifferent.”

THE FAMILY PILE | MATERNAL | THE U.S AND THE HOLOCAUST

This article was originally published in The Courier on 14th January 2023.

NEXT WEEK’S TV

The Family Pile – Tuesday, STV, 9:30pm

The first episode of every sitcom has three imperatives: establish the premise; introduce the characters and their various dynamics; be funny. The Family Pile succeeds on every count. 

It pivots around four Liverpool sisters who are struggling to sell said family pile following the recent loss of their parents. The excellent cast share a natural rapport, they convince as siblings. 

Writer Brian Dooley, who created cult early ‘00s sitcom The Smoking Room, delivers a script packed with actual gags and acerbic warmth.

A likeable confection, The Family Pile is pleasingly traditional in that it unfolds in the manner of a televised stage play. There’s no studio audience, but it could easily thrive in that environment.

Maternal – Monday, STV, 9pm

This promising new medical drama follows three women on the post-pandemic NHS frontline. It begins with them returning to work after maternity leave. 

Maryam is a Paediatric Registrar, Catherine is a General and Trauma Surgeon, and Helen is a Registrar in Acute Medicine. 

As in all dramas of this nature, they’re struggling with the pressures of their job alongside various complicated personal issues. But what elevates Maternal above the norm is its sharp, witty script and sympathetic female-led focus.  

Much like This is Going to Hurt, it’s an unsentimental celebration of NHS workers. 

My only complaint is that it’s populated by unrealistically handsome male doctors, which rather undermines the fundamental integrity of the piece. Otherwise, yes: would recommend.

The U.S. and the Holocaust – Monday, BBC Four, 10pm

Chapter two of this remarkable six-hour essay from that peerless documentarian Ken Burns continues its rigorous examination of how the American people and their leaders responded to one of the most heinous humanitarian atrocities of the twentieth century. 

As World War Two begins, America is united in its opposition to Nazi brutality, but remains divided on whether to intervene. 

National hero Charles Lindbergh takes a controversial non-interventionist stance, while President Franklin D. Roosevelt lends a sympathetic ear to the plight of European democracies. Following Germany’s invasion of the Soviet Union, the Holocaust begins in secret. 

This, in typical Burns style, is a mammoth historical undertaking rich in granular, human detail. Its impact is profound.

Know Your S**t: Inside Our Guts – Tuesday, Channel 4, 8pm

What a charmingly titled series. Stay classy, Channel 4. If, however, you can ignore its tiresomely twee ‘tee-hee!’ trappings – it centres around a pop-up clinic called Poo HQ – then this is a fairly worthwhile advert for the importance of checking up on our intestinal health. 

The dieticians and medics we encounter are certainly more convincing and authoritative than, well, I won’t invoke her shamed name. You all know the Scottish ‘doctor’ I’m alluding to. 

In episode one, various people with gut issues seek some advice. It’s basically a more palatable and well-meaning version of Embarrassing Bodies. 

As twin hosts Alana and Lisa announce in their intro, it won’t put you off your dinner. 

India: The Modi Question – Tuesday, BBC Two, 9pm

Indian Prime Minister Narendra Modi has been in power since 2014, during which time his premiership has come under attack for its attitudes towards India’s Muslim population. This probing two-part series investigates those allegations. 

Episode one traces Modi’s rise to power and the controversy surrounding his response to the Gujurat riots of 2002. Those events were instigated by the burning of a train carrying a large number of Hindu pilgrims. 59 people lost their lives. Three days of rioting ensued, during which more than a thousand people, mostly Muslims, were killed. 

Modi was accused of failing to take sufficient action to protect the Muslim community. He has continually denied any direct responsibility for that tragic death toll.

Bradley & Barney Walsh: Breaking Dad – Tuesday, STV, 9pm

An affable tuft of fluff, this father/son travelogue is a welcome diversion at this forbidding time of year. 

The key to its appeal is the palpably affectionate relationship between our genial guides; they enjoy each other’s company, and the effect is rather contagious. Also, Walsh Sr. is nothing if not dedicated to his endearing comic role as a middle-aged man who appears to be terrified by the various stunts he’s asked to perform. It’s a winning piece of shtick. 

This week, the duo arrive in Guatemala. They have an ever so lovely time as usual, until dad is ‘surprised’ to learn that a scheduled bike ride will take place on a tightrope suspended 25 metres above ground level.

Travel Man: 48 Hours in Dublin – Friday, Channel 4, 8:30pm

Joe Lycett’s latest minibreak buddy is comedian Mawaan Rizwan. The centrepiece of their whirlwind trip to Dublin is a statue odyssey involving QR codes. Whenever they scan a code, a significant statue beckons. So that’s why, for instance, they end up in the company of rigid monuments to Oscar Wilde and Molly Malone. 

They also visit Dublin’s smallest restaurant and Ireland’s answer to Abbey Road studios. Pints of Guinness are enjoyed along the way. 

Travel Man, whether fronted by Lycett or original host Richard Ayoade, doesn’t really give you a rich flavour of its various destinations, but it’s always a breezy surface guide.

LAST WEEK’S TV

Happy Valley – Sunday 8th January, BBC One

Catherine’s greatest fear was confirmed last week: her grandson Ryan has been secretly visiting his father, the psychotic Tommy Lee Royce, in prison. Those visits have been facilitated by Catherine’s sister Clare. An unforgivable betrayal of trust? We’ll see. 

The final scene, in which Catherine caught Clare in her lie, was unbearably tense. 

You already know this, but it bears repeating: Sally Wainwright is a phenomenal writer. She’s created a hugely successful drama that confronts the brutal everyday reality of crime, corruption, poverty, addiction, toxic masculinity and domestic violence with the utmost authenticity. 

Catherine, one of TV’s greatest ever cops, is Wainwright’s compassionately caustic mouthpiece. It’s a hideous world, but we need to take care of each other somehow. 

Meet the Khans – Monday 9th January, BBC Three

Series three of this unabashedly structured reality series began with heavyweight boxing champ Amir Khan, wife Faryal and their children moving into a massive house in Cheshire. Nothing of any consequence occurred after that. 

I don’t mind this sort of show in theory, just as long as the protagonists are interesting and funny. Amir and Faryal are neither. 

Retired athletes have to make a living, we all need to get by. Good luck to ‘em. But who is watching this? And why? There’s no drama, no comedy, it’s pointless. You may as well watch a documentary about the boring housebound lives of myself and my cat, and God knows I wouldn’t wish that on anyone.

JOE LYCETT vs DAVID BECKHAM: A GOT YOUR BACK CHRISTMAS SPECIAL | VIENNA BLOOD | STACEY SOLOMON'S CRAFTY CHRISTMAS

This article was originally published in The Courier on 10th December 2022. 

NEXT WEEK’S TV

Joe Lycett vs David Beckham: A Got Your Back Christmas Special – Thursday, Channel 4, 9pm

The comedian Joe Lycett is rightly renowned for his politically motivated stunts, all of which are dedicated to highlighting social injustice to varying degrees, but he made more headlines than ever before with his recent ultimatum to that supposed ambassador for LGBTQ+ rights, David Beckham. 

The superstar footballer accepted a multimillion pound sponsorship deal with the Qatar World Cup. Homosexuality is illegal in Qatar. Lycett promised to donate £10,000 to LGBTQ+ charities if Beckham pulled out of the deal. If not? He’d shred the money. 

This documentary follows Lycett as he makes a considered stand against bigotry and hypocrisy. His actions raised awareness of a vital human rights issue and angered/confounded all the right people. Mission accomplished.

The Disappearance of April Jones – Monday to Wednesday, Channel 4, 9pm

Ten years ago, five-year-old April Jones went missing from outside her home in a quiet Welsh market town. 

This three-part series chronicles Britain’s largest ever police search. It was made with the cooperation of April’s family, alongside their local community and constabulary, so please rest assured: this isn’t a prurient true-crime enterprise told from afar. It’s handled with care. 

Episode one focuses on the day April disappeared. The subsequent news coverage encouraged people from all over the UK to assist the police in their enquiries. 

It gradually transpired that this horrific crime was perpetrated, not by a random stranger, but by someone who lived in the town. The shock and despair is palpable.

Undercover: Sexual Harassment – The Truth – Monday, Channel 4, 10pm

In this documentary, reporter Ellie Flynn poses undercover as a drunk young woman separated from her friends during a fun night out in the centre of town. Her goal: to expose the heinous reality of sexual harassment against women in Britain today. 

Flynn also poses online as her eighteen-year-old self, to illustrate the torrent of graphic messages and images that women receive from predatory men. She eventually confronts them. Why are they doing this? Why do they think it’s acceptable? 

The programme also features candid testimonies from women whose lives have been utterly devastated by sexual harassment and abuse. Preview copies weren’t available, but this sounds like an important, urgent and disturbing piece of work.

Vienna Blood – Wednesday, BBC Two, 9pm

Adapted from the popular novels by clinical psychologist Frank Tarris, Vienna Blood is a fairly solid thriller set in early 20^th Century Vienna. Now in its third series, you may have caught it before. 

The latest batch of adventures begins with Freud apostle Max (Matthew Beard) and senior Detective Oskar (Jürgen Maurer) investigating the murder of a young seamstress. They end up mired in an unfamiliar world of luxury and glamour, beneath which – wouldn’t you know it? – lurks a seedy subculture of exploitation, violence and corruption. 

Beard and Maurer make for a watchable addition to TV’s never-ending pantheon of clue-sniffing duos. Their odd couple chemistry is quite pleasing, and the psychological sub-current adds a certain frisson.

Children of the Taliban – Wednesday, Channel 4, 11:05pm

Shoukria and Arezo are young girls growing up in Taliban-ruled Kabul. They both lost their fathers during the war in Afghanistan. They’re illustrative of the hundreds of thousands of Afghan children who have to work to support their families under a brutal totalitarian regime. 

This documentary examines their plight. It also introduces us to Abdullah and Ehsanullah, who are the sons of high-ranking Taliban members. They live in different worlds, and yet these boys and girls have certain things in common. 

Channel 4 receives a lot of stick, and quite right too, but I cannot fault its commitment to documentaries of this particular nature. It’s not all Naked Attraction, y’know. It does produce some work of actual value.

Stacey Solomon’s Crafty Christmas – Thursday, BBC One, 8pm

All good people agree that Stacey Solomon is a splendid human being. Why, she’s the nation’s sweetheart™. 

In this typically cheery spin-off from her regular Sort Your Life Out gig, Stacey and her hapless, harmless husband Joe Swash share various ingenious homemade ways of brightening up your festive season without having to spend much money. Their kids gets involved too. 

They upcycle some knackered old Christmas decorations, bake an inexpensive cake, and rustle up some personalised crackers. Stacey also transforms a neighbouring barn into a glittering Christmas party destination. 

I’m loath to recommend lifestyle programmes during these direly straitened times, but Stacey has her heart in exactly the right place: make no mistake, she’s the anti-Kirstie Allsopp.

Celebrity Gogglebox 2022 – Friday, Channel 4, 9pm

When Gogglebox first wriggled its way onto our screens in 2013, I instinctively took against it. People watching television and passing critical comment? That’s my job! Who the ever-loving heck do these people think they are?! 

Reader, I’m a fool. A judgemental kneejerk snob. I’ve grown fond of this format over the years, it’s a comforting presence. A fun distraction. So while I’m no devotee, I do enjoy catching up with it from time to time. 

This special edition compiles some of the highlights from 2022’s celebrity spin-off. Our sofa-bound guests include Bill Bailey, Joanna Lumley, Oti Mabuse, Fred Siriex, the aforementioned Stacey Solomon, and that bumbling Madchester comedy duo Shaun Ryder and Bez.

LAST WEEK’S TV

Trailblazers: A Rocky Mountain Road Trip – Monday 5th December, BBC Two

In the penultimate episode of this travelogue, Emily Atack, Melanie Brown and Ruby Wax continued to trek in the footsteps of Victorian explorer Isabella Bird. 

No one will ever mistake Trailblazers for a particularly in-depth enterprise, but that’s not the fault of the evidently sincere presenters. Within the standardised TV restrictions placed upon it, the series does manage to educate and entertain. 

One gets the impression, however, that lead guide Wax in particular would’ve made a different programme if left to her own devices. 

Still, she managed to cut through the light-hearted exterior to express some thoughtful critiques of the American Dream, and the sequence devoted to the appalling discrimination endured by generations of Native Americans was sensitively handled.

Agatha Christie: Lucy Worsley on the Mystery Queen – Friday 9th December, BBC Two

Worsley concluded her latest essay in typically engaging and ruminative style. 

I take issue (yes, actual issue) with those who blithely criticise Worsley for her alleged failings: she’s a whimsical populist, bleat the naysayers, she looks like she’s having far too much fun. History is a serious business. 

Well, anyone who’s ever bothered to watch her best work, and this series was a fine example, will be aware that her wry sense of humour operates in tandem with a rigorous devotion to subverting received wisdom. She’s irreverent, sincere, insightful and persuasive.

VICKY PATTISON: ALCOHOL, DAD AND ME + TWO DOORS DOWN + THE NEWSREADER

This article was originally published in The Courier on 30th July 2022.

NEXT WEEK’S TV

Vicky Pattison: Alcohol, Dad and Me – Tuesday, Channel 4, 10pm

Vicky Pattison first rose to fame via Geordie Shore, where she gained a reputation as someone who likes a drink, sometimes to excess. 

Pattison doesn’t think she’s an alcoholic, but she concedes that her relationship with alcohol is problematic. “I have abused it in the past, and there’s the potential that I could end up being like my dad.” 

Pattison’s father, John, is a full blown alcoholic. He appears alongside his daughter in this frank documentary. Vicky’s goal: find ways of helping John to stop drinking for good. 

There are no easy solutions, alcoholism is a complex illness, but the programme still succeeds as a sensitive study of anxiety, shame and addiction. Vicky and John’s candour is commendable.

Inside the Factory: XL – Monday, BBC Two, 9pm

The perpetually astounded Gregg Wallace launches this supersized ITF spin-off with a visit to a vast factory where engineers build five-carriage electric trains which weigh in at 187 tonnes. Each train takes up to 1,000 hours to complete. 

As usual, Wallace is in hard-hatted, hi-vis heaven, like a beatific child given access to the world’s biggest trainset. 

Meanwhile, Cherry Healey travels to the foothills of Ben Nevis, where the hydro-powered Lochaber Smelter – the UK’s last remaining factory of its kind - produces molten tonnes of aluminium on an epic scale. 

Finally, historian Ruth Goodman pays an illuminating visit to the world’s oldest surviving electric railway line, which operates along the Brighton seafront.

Two Doors Down – Monday, BBC Two, 10pm

Cathy and Colin have just got back from a luxurious holiday in Italy. Naturally, they can’t wait to boast about it all to their neighbours. Enter a classy couple they befriended by the pool (the wife is played by special guest star Julie Graham). 

Snooty Cathy regards them as the sort of high status people they should by rights be fraternising with, but she’s absolutely mortified when they get on famously with Christine and co. That wasn’t part of the plan. 

The joy of Two Doors Down is the way in which it combines excruciatingly well-observed social satire with obvious affection for (most of) its characters and a high turnover of actual jokes. An exceptional sitcom.

Worst House on the Street – Tuesday, Channel 4, 8pm

Always buy the worst house on the best street. That, according to this new lifestyle series, “is an adage known to savvy buyers everywhere.” Watch your profits soar! 

Our hosts are property development siblings Scarlette and Stuart Douglas, who’ve been in the business for almost fifteen years. Each week they help families to transform run-down houses into dream homes on an affordable budget. You know, the usual standard-issue format. 

First up are a newly married couple who have never owned a property before, let alone managed a renovation. Scarlette and Stuart are a likeable duo. They’re easy-going pros with expertise to spare. Imagine Location, Location, Location fronted by people who aren’t utterly objectionable.

Night Coppers – Tuesday, Channel 4, 9pm

The stars of our latest bleak encounter with Brighton’s busy night patrol include tattooed PC Robbie, an aspiring cage fighter. We follow Robbie throughout his shift, the ‘highlight’ of which is his remonstration with an aggressive bloke outside a pub. All in a night’s work. 

In another part of town we touch base with PC Emily, a rookie cop who once worked as a British Airways flight attendant. Emily has to carry out a strip-search on a less than helpful suspect. As the night wears on, PCs Zoe and Vic launch an urgent search for a vulnerable woman. 

As with all shows of its ilk, Night Coppers makes for an uncomfortable voyeuristic experience. What purpose do they ultimately serve?

The Supervet: Noel Fitzpatrick – Thursday, Channel 4, 8pm

This week, Professor Noel and his specialist veterinary team come to the rescue of Milo, a Dalmatian who has been diagnosed with a developmental condition affecting his spinal cord. 

Poor Milo is in constant pain. Noel, with his usual comforting bedside manner, presents to Milo’s owners the option of a delicate surgical procedure that should relieve the pressure on his spine. 

Noel also operates on Moon, a puppy suffering from a severe elbow ailment, and Ollie, a Shih Tzu in dire physical straits. If you’ve never seen this show before, I appreciate that my synopses must make it sound harrowing. Rest assured, it’s not in the business of bringing us down. There are almost always happy endings.

First Dates – Thursday, Channel 4, 10pm

Essex lad Luca is tired of being regarded as an unreliable ‘player’. All he wants to do is meet a nice girl, someone his dad might approve of. Luca’s date is TV presenter Hayley, whose professional onscreen confidence belies the anxiety most of us feel when meeting potential romantic partners for the first time. 

We’re also introduced to Sandie, a retired prison officer who’s lived a very full life indeed. Her many achievements include modelling the first police-issue trousers for women. Sandie’s date is veteran tennis coach Chris. 

And then there’s nonconformist boarding school matron Sarah, who’s quite taken with Charlie: a maths teacher who describes himself as a cross between Richard Ayoade and Bill Nighy.

LAST WEEK’S TV

Joe Lycett: Summer Exhibitionist – Saturday 23rd July, BBC Two

The world’s largest open submission art contest, the Royal Academy Summer Exhibition celebrates its 253^rd anniversary this year. An egalitarian endeavour, it’s a vibrant celebration of diverse creativity at which all are welcome. But that doesn’t mean your submitted artworks will be automatically accepted by the judging panel, as comedian Joe Lycett explained during this breezy documentary. 

He encountered various shortlisted artists from all walks of life, my favourite being the funny, self-aware woman whose latest entry was based on 20 years of rejection by the Royal Academy. That’s the spirit. 

Lycett is very good at this sort of thing, he’s totally at ease with members of the public. A generous host, he never mocks or sneers.

The Newsreader – Sunday 24th July, BBC Two

This promising Australian series was ABC’s most watched drama of 2021. Its appeal is obvious. 

The year: 1986. The setting: behind the scenes of a flagship daily TV news programme. The protagonist is an idealistic and highly capable anchor who’s tired of living in the shadow of her egotistical male co-host (a stentorian national institution). She finally gets a chance to shine after forming a bond with an ambitious young producer. Backstage skulduggery ensues. 

Witty and engaging, The Newsreader is the likeable antithesis of Aaron Sorkin’s similarly themed yet typically pompous The Newsroom. It doesn’t pretend to be anything other than a fairly sophisticated soap with a wry sense of humour and a sincere moral compass.