THE PIANO | SCOTLAND'S GREATEST ESCAPE | HAPPY VALLEY

This article was originally published in The Courier on 11th August 2023.

NEXT WEEK’S TV

The Piano – Wednesday, Channel 4, 9pm

Imagine, if you can, a far more benign version of Britain’s Got Talent. That's basically what we're dealing with here, a series in which Claudia Winkelman travels around Britain to showcase the prowess of those non-professional musicians who gravitate towards free-to-use pianos in public places. 

Her odyssey begins at London’s St Pancras train station. Unbeknownst to the players, they’re being observed by the classical pianist Lang Lang and ‘00s hitmaker Mika. Each week they choose a favourite, who will eventually join them on stage for a very special concert at the Royal Festival Hall. 

The Piano is unabashedly sentimental at times, but its heart is in the right place. No one is belittled, and you may find yourself wowed by some of the talent on display.

The Agency: Unfiltered – Monday, BBC Scotland, 10pm

Amy and Kirsten are the owners of Scotland’s largest influencer agency. They represent over 20 successful clients. In this new series, we take a peek into their social media-savvy world.

Now, you could argue that the entire concept of influencing is utterly cynical, hollow and depressing. You could also argue that these kids are making an honest living in the belly of the capitalist beast. They’ve spied an opportunity and ran with it. Good luck to ‘em. Amy, Kirsten and their clients come across as nice, unpretentious people. 

This show will never be mistaken for a probing critique of the Zeitgeist. It’s rather stilted and contrived, but it means no harm whatsoever in the grand scheme of things.

First Dates Valentine’s – Tuesday, Channel 4, 10pm

Fred Sirieix and his colleagues presumably regard Valentine’s Day as a sacred occasion. Their very own Prosecco-fuelled Rapture. 

In this year’s love-happy special, our affable matchmakers play host to a ‘clubbing queen’ who’s grown tired of over-keen men, a Swedish baker who initially bonds with her date over a shared love of singing and ballet, and a woman who hasn’t dated since her arranged marriage dissolved a decade ago. 

We also meet Erin, a special effects make-up artist with cerebral palsy. Whenever she mentions her condition to potential online daters, they tend to disappear. Erin experiences her first ever blind date tonight.

Untold: Cheat Detectives: The Loyalty Test – Tuesday, Channel 4, 11:05pm

Preview copies weren’t available, but this documentary sounds like the troubling Yin to First Dates’ fluffy Yang. 

It delves into a murky online phenomenon driven by influencers doggedly devoted to exposing infidelity. But are their motives sincere? Do they really care about the relationships they’re investigating, or are they exploiting people for lucrative hits and views? 

Reporter Daisy Maskell questions the ethics of this growing trend. Her interviewees include a popular TikToker who is generating content based on a hashtag that’s been viewed over one billion times. 

Maskell also speaks to one of the TikToker’s clients, as they put their boyfriend through the test.

Scotland’s Greatest Escape – Wednesday, BBC Scotland, 10pm

Scotland is a beautiful, scenic country. You’ve probably noticed. So no wonder BBC Scotland knocks out travelogues at such a rapid rate of knots. It’s all on their doorstep. 

In this good-natured series, hosts JJ Chalmers and Grado spend time with viewers who took part in a poll to find Scotland’s best holiday destinations. A panel of experts take notes from afar. 

This week’s escapers are lifelong pals Karen and Karen, who sample the charms of some luxurious lodges in the Angus countryside. 

They also enjoy a bespoke overnight cruise around the west coast of Scotland, before winding up in an Ayrshire castle. Falconry and archery ensue. Not at the same time, obviously, that would be disastrous.

Prue and Danny’s Death Road Trip – Thursday, Channel 4, 9pm

The nation’s favourite cake-maker Prue Leith supports assisted dying. Her son, the Conservative MP Danny Kruger, is against it. In this programme, they take a trip around the USA and Canada. As you may be aware, assisted dying is legal in Canada. 

Leith first became aware of this debate when her brother endured a very slow and painful death. She believes that people should be allowed to leave this mortal coil with dignity. Kruger maintains that any potential change to UK legislation could lead to the abuse of vulnerable people. 

They meet a woman whose parents died peacefully together at a time of their choosing, and a doctor who insists that Canadian legislation has gone too far.

The National Comedy Awards For Stand Up to Cancer 2023 – Friday, Channel 4, 9pm

Your deserving nominations this year include Am I Being Unreasonable?, Derry Girls, Ghosts, Would I Lie to You? and Mortimer and Whitehouse: Gone Fishing. Ricky Gervais’ egregious After Life has presumably been included due to some sort of unfortunate admin error. 

This awards ceremony was a must-see TV event in the ‘90s and early ‘00s, an unpredictable live event featuring famous comedians in various states of inebriation. Julian Clary’s infamous remark about Norman Lamont? Spike Milligan’s impudent message to Prince Charles? It all happened here. 

The Comedy Awards are a slicker affair these days, so don’t expect any wild detours along those lines, but at least it’s all held in aid of a good cause.

LAST WEEK’S TV 

Happy Valley – Sunday 5th February, BBC One

That sound you heard at around 10:50pm last Sunday was approximately eight million people yelping “Don’t go in!” when Catherine discovered the whereabouts of Tommy Lee Royce.

Their mesmerising final confrontation was faultlessly written and performed. Writer Sally Wainwright even managed to include a few notes of dry black comedy amidst the rage and recrimination. 

She also toyed with the ambiguity of whether Royce genuinely cared about his son, Ryan. Were his tears a sign of some genuine emotional attachment, or were they shed in self-pity? Wainwright and actor James Norton always ensured that Royce was never a mere pantomime villain. 

An exceptional drama, Happy Valley has taken its rightful place in TV’s marbled Pantheon.

LONG LOST FAMILY: BORN WITHOUT TRACE + INSIDE NO. 9 + WE ARE LADY PARTS

This article was originally published in The Courier on 22nd May 2021.

NEXT WEEK’S TV

Long Lost Family: Born Without Trace - Monday to Wednesday, STV, 9pm

This touching series, in which people abandoned as babies finally discover more about where they came from, is a reliably, and quietly, stellar piece of work. 

Programmes of this nature are often quite manipulative and questionable, but Long Lost Family comports itself with commendable sensitivity. It’s a force for good. 

Over the course of these three new episodes, we’re introduced to more people in search of answers. Closure, if you will. As always, the programme doesn’t judge their parents harshly; there are always difficult, mitigating circumstances. 

Time and time again, Long Lost Family unearths stories of young people in dire straits, people who for various reasons just didn’t know how to cope. Everyone involved is treated with compassion.

Cook Clever, Waste Less with Prue and Rupy – Monday, Channel 4, 8:30pm

According to this benign new lifestyle show, we apparently throw 14 billion (fiscal) pounds worth of food away every year. A dismal statistic. So thank heavens above for ‘leftover queen’ Prue Leith and food expert Dr Rupy Aujla, who are on a mission to help families save time and money while reducing food waste. 

This week, they meet two young boys with gluten and dairy allergies. Their parents try to provide them with a balanced diet, but that results in needless overspend and waste. 

So, Prue and Rupy devise a healthy, minimalist weekly meal plan; if you buy relatively cheap yet nutritious ingredients, they can be reused to create a variety of dishes. It really is that simple. 

The Year Britain Stopped – Monday, Channel 4, 9pm

Prior to the vaccine rollout, Britain had one of the worst Covid death rates in the world. This simmering documentary highlights the hypocrisy and incompetency of Boris Johnson’s government while speaking to NHS doctors and nurses, as well as some of the people who lost loved ones during the pandemic. 

We hear from one of the nurses who treated Johnson while he was hospitalised with Coronavirus. She’s very diplomatic and professional – Johnson was a patient who required treatment – but her sadness and disgust when he tried to co-opt her into his thumbs-up publicity campaign is palpable. 

It was just too upsetting, the very thought of clapping alongside him for the cameras when she’d witnessed so many deaths. 

Inside No. 9 – Monday, BBC Two, 9:30pm

The best episode of this series so far is set in a threadbare hotel room; a crucible of loneliness bathed in sickly green. Steve Pemberton plays a heartbroken little man who suspects that his wife is having an affair. So he hires a professional lip-reader (Sian Clifford) to spy on her movements in an adjacent building. 

Reece Shearsmith occasionally butts in as a stiff, uptight German hotel manager with a sinister pencil moustache. He’s permanently suspicious and interfering. It’s like a weirdly claustrophobic episode of Fawlty Towers. Pemberton and Shearsmith are, of course, aware of this; listen out for a fleetingly specific allusion to Basil’s attitude towards his guests. 

A satisfyingly bleak and cruel instalment of an endlessly surprising anthology. 

The Black American Fight for Freedom – Wednesday, BBC Two, 9pm

Last year, as you know, the brutal murder of George Floyd ignited the Black Lives Matter movement, which campaigns not only for an end to police brutality but also for something that was promised 48 years ago by the Civil Rights Act: racial equality. 

This despairing documentary looks back at those moments during the last six decades of American history when opportunities for positive social change were cruelly snatched away. The programme explains why these brief glimmers of hope have been repeatedly vanquished. 

In America today, you are five times more likely to serve time in prison than if you’re white. The average black family is eight times poorer than the average white family. For all our supposed enlightenment, systemic injustice still prevails.

Before We Die – Wednesday, Channel 4, 9pm

Lesley Sharp stars in this beat-for-beat British adaptation of a resolutely solemn Swedish crime drama, which you may have seen via Channel 4’s Walter Presents strand. 

She plays a police detective whose partner, a fellow officer, is abducted during a stakeout. To make matters worse, she discovers that her troubled stepson – with whom she has a strained relationship – has been assisting his dad in an undercover investigation into organised crime. So now they’re all involved. 

It’s a decent enough premise, but Before We Die is fatally undermined by sloppy pacing and wooden dialogue. Even an actor of Sharp’s calibre can’t rise above those fundamental flaws. All she can do is her professional best.

Friday Night Dinner: 10 Years and a Lovely Bit of Squirrel – Friday, Channel 4, 9pm

This tenth anniversary celebration of Robert Popper’s semi-autobiographical sitcom farce about a suburban Jewish family also serves as a bittersweet tribute to the great Paul Ritter, who passed away recently. 

Ritter was seriously ill when the programme was made, but he was determined to pay tribute to a series he was understandably proud of. This marks his final onscreen appearance. Ritter’s performance as the endearingly eccentric Martin was an absolute delight. He will be missed.

The programme also features interviews with Popper and the cast, as well as celebrity fans – and long-time Popper pals – David Baddiel and Peter Serafinowicz. It provides some insight into the writing and filming process, and there are a smattering of outtakes to enjoy. Shalom.

LAST WEEK’S TV

Delia Derbyshire: The Myths and the Legendary Tapes – Sunday 16th May, BBC Four

20 years ago, some tapes were found in a Northampton attic. They were the lost works of electronic music pioneer Delia Derbyshire, who had recently passed away. Musician/performance artist Cosey Fanni Tutti sampled them to create the soundtrack for this immersive and suitably idiosyncratic docudrama from British actor and filmmaker Caroline Catz. 

Derbyshire, a member of the BBC Radiophonic Workshop, is best known for her extraordinary arrangement of the Doctor Who theme; but that was just one of her many creative achievements. She was a beguiling nonconformist immersed in musique concrete and the infinite subtleties of sound. 

Catz played Derbyshire in tasteful dramatic reconstructions, while friends and collaborators waxed lyrical about this remarkable artist. Audio interviews with Derbyshire were laced throughout. A haunting film.

We Are Lady Parts – Thursday 20th May, Channel 4

An obvious cult hit in the making, this hugely likeable sitcom follows a Muslim female punk band – the titular Lady Parts – as they attempt to spread their uncompromising feminist message. 

The protagonist is a bright, conservative, geeky young Muslim woman whose ultimate priority is finding a husband. A big fan of earnest 1970s folkies such as Don McLean and Janis Ian, she provides acoustic guitar lessons for underprivileged children, and only accepts the gig as Lady Parts’ lead guitarist so she can meet the drummer’s handsome brother. Unfortunately, she suffers from vomit-inducing stage fright. 

Written and directed by Nida Manzoor, We Are Lady Parts is charming and subversive. It’s a sly, good-natured labour of love.