Saturday, 19 July 2014

TV Review: NICK & MARGARET: TOO MANY IMMIGRANTS? and THE GREAT BIG ROMANIAN INVASION

This article was originally published in The Courier on 19th July 2014.


Nick & Margaret: Too Many Immigrants?: Tuesday and Wednesday, BBC One

The Great Big Romanian Invasion: Thursday, BBC One

Paul Whitelaw

Few would argue that immigration is at the forefront of the news agenda. That's because organisations such as the BBC constantly push it there. They were banging this knackered drum again last week with two documentaries which sought to address the issue once and for all.

The first was Nick & Margaret: Too Many Immigrants?, a nauseatingly titled “social experiment” in which Alan Sugar's Apprentice sidekicks paired five sets of UK-born citizens with various immigrants to ascertain whether – ghastly rhetoric alert - they're a “gain or drain” on Britain.

I'm surely not alone in saying that no one is better qualified to tackle the complex subject of immigration than two wealthy white capitalists, one of whom lives in France and presents an afternoon quiz show.

Their baffling involvement aside, the programme's worst crime was its lazy, reductive, tiresome predictability. The British-born citizens coughed up the usual Daily Mail-fed opinions before coming to the conclusion that – hey! - these immigrants are actually a decent, hard-working lot after all. With minimum effort, it managed to patronise both participants and viewers in one fell swoop.

The answer to the teeth-grinding question posed in the title was always going to be a resounding “NO”. As pointed out by the qualified experts who popped up to deliver actual facts and evidence, Britain's housing problem and crime rates categorically can't be blamed on its immigrant population.

Cheap and manipulative thought it was, the programme at least had its heart in the right place in that it sought to present viewers with a positive view rather than irresponsible conjecture. If it broadened a few narrow minds in the process, then job done. Indeed, that aspect alone saved it from total redundancy.

Sadly, however, the likes of John – one of those paranoid bores who thinks British culture is under threat of extinction – will always exist. He graciously tipped his hat to the Filipino care worker with whom he was paired, but it was obvious he'd never change his mind on immigration. People like him are immune to reality.

The best participants by far, if only on account of their ludicrous views, were Ted and Margaret, a retired couple living in an ethnically diverse part of London. Paired with a Pakistani couple who run an adult education course for immigrants, they argued that such schools just encourage people to move into their area. Yeah, flippin' foreigners, coming over here and having the audacity to learn our language. They also felt that immigrants shouldn't have access to the NHS, an attitude almost heroic in its bone-headed lack of compassion.

Ted had the droning voice of a born complainer, while Margaret was wearily dumbstruck from years of ill-informed anxiety. Still, their eyes were opened by a visit to a local mosque. Ted was pleasantly surprised by how peaceful it was. “There's nothing sinister going on.” What was he expecting, a scene from The Wicker Man?

I particularly enjoyed the moment where Ted complained that, thanks to immigration, traditional suits and ties are a thing of the past. Cut to his new Pakistani acquaintance strolling alongside him wearing a traditional suit and tie. Ted was wearing neither. Beautiful.

Incidentally, I'm aware that by poking fun at the likes of Ted, I'm guilty of being as judgemental as he is. That's the manipulative power of television for you.

In The Great Big Romanian Invasion, journalist Tim Samuels, himself of Romanian extraction, looked behind those scaremongering media reports about millions of eastern Europeans swamping Britain.

Adopting a wry yet sympathetic tone, he joined Keith Vaz and reporters at Luton Airport on January 1st to greet an expected flood of new Romanian immigrants. Famously, only one turned up. A bemused pig farmer, he went from being a media darling to a hounded hate figure in the space of a week. Welcome to Britain, chum.


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