This article was originally published in The Courier on 18th April 2020.
NEXT WEEK’S TV
CELEBRITY SAS: WHO
DARES WINS
Monday,
Channel 4, 9pm
Escapist
rubbish. Mindless entertainment. Risible macho nonsense. Call it what you will.
This is the sort of silliness we need right now. You presumably know the drill:
a team of ex-Special Forces soldiers led by classic bearded Action Man ™ Ant
Middleton put twelve celebrities through a condensed yet gruelling version of
SAS selection. This time around, in conjunction with Stand Up to Cancer, those
trembling famous faces include Anthea Turner, John Fashanu, Katie Price, Strictly dancer Brendan Cole, former boxing
champ Tony Bellew and some wazzock from TOWIE
(there is always some wazzock from TOWIE
in these shows). Pantomime aggression, facile motivational profundities, gruff
soldiers dispensing unqualified advice to troubled souls with various issues,
this show has it all.
A VERY BRITISH
LOCKDOWN: DIARIES FROM THE FRONTLINE
Tuesday,
STV, 8pm
I’m
writing these words on Saturday 11th April. Or it might be Sunday 12th,
I honestly can’t tell the days apart anymore. Time means nothing at the moment,
does it? We’re all adrift in a disorientating existential limbo. That’s a
roundabout way of telling you that, for obvious reasons, preview copies of this
recently compiled programme weren’t available in time (whatever that is) for my
weekly deadline. It does, however, sound like something we can all get behind.
Filmed via camera phones, it involves members of the public sharing their
Coronavirus lockdown stories. Participants include two middle-aged grocers who
continue to serve the needs of their vulnerable customers, plus a pair of
expectant parents whose baby is due soon.
OUR QUEEN AT WAR
Wednesday,
STV, 9pm
Not,
alas, a gossipy expose of the intra-band frictions between Messrs Mercury, May,
Taylor and Deacon, but a documentary examining the role of young Princess Liz
during WWII. She was, famously, the only female member of the Royal Family to join
the armed forces during wartime, an act of national duty which strengthened her
character and public image. It’s an eventful saga solidly told via forelock-tugging
Royal biographers and a vivid fiesta of photographs, letters, archive radio
broadcasts and newsreel footage, plus some tasteful animated inserts. The war encouraged
the Windsors to adopt a more informal way of dealing with the masses; the
Princess played an integral role in bringing some relative comfort and cheer to
her shattered subjects.
THE BIG NIGHT IN
Thursday,
BBC One, 7pm
Comic
Relief and Children in Need have united for the first time to present this
three-hour charity extravaganza, in which stars provide entertainment from the
safety of their own homes. The money raised will go towards those partaking in
the frontline fight against Covid-19, as well as some unsung heroes who are
going that extra mile to support their local communities. Lenny Henry and Matt
Baker will, while staying safely apart, present contributions from the likes of
Peter Kay, Catherine Tate and the stars of
Strictly. We’ll also be treated to some classic comedy moments, as voted
for by you. It would be churlish, under the circumstances, to complain about
seeing Del Boy fall through the bar again.
LAST WEEK’S TV
LIMMY’S HOMEMADE SHOW
Sunday 12th April, BBC Two
Limmy’s
latest series is inadvertently topical. A DIY sketch show filmed almost
entirely within the confines of his house, it’s a masterclass in
self-isolation. It reduces his previous series, Limmy’s Show!, to its bare essence: just Limmy all alone with his
daft, morbid, overactive thoughts. Some bits work, some bits don’t, but it’s
never boring, never predictable. He’s one of the few contemporary comedians who
can make me cackle out loud. Undoubted highlight: Limmy’s guide to creating the
ultimate crowd-pleasing DJ set.
DOLLY: 50 YEARS AT THE
OPRY
Monday 13th April, BBC Two
This
was everything you’d expect from a glitzy celebration of the great Dolly Parton.
A slick package combining anniversary concert footage plus archive clips, it found
her on typically charming form. While I appreciate that the recently departed
Kenny Rogers was presumably too ill to duet on Islands in the Stream when the show was recorded last October, I
could’ve done without Dolly’s bland contemporary Country guests performing
karaoke versions of her hits. Nevertheless, time in Lady Rhinestone’s company
is always well-spent.
INSIDE THE FACTORY
Tuesday 14th April, BBC Two
One
feared for Gregg Wallace’s blood pressure when he visited a French cast-iron
kitchenware foundry. His enthusiasm reached almost combustible levels. I hope
he’s currently enjoying some emergency relaxation time.
