THE SERPENT + DOCTOR WHO + WORZEL GUMMIDGE

This article was originally published in The Courier on Boxing Day 2020.

NEXT WEEK’S TV 

The Serpent – New Year’s Day, BBC One, 9pm 

This absorbing thriller is based on the sordid true story of French conman and serial killer Charles Sobhraj (Tahar Rahim), who, together with his girlfriend Marie-Andree Leclerc (Jenna Coleman), preyed on hippie backpackers in 1970s Southeast Asia. His unlikely nemesis was a concerned young diplomat from the Dutch embassy. Co-produced by Netflix, it’s a big-budget affair with a distinct whiff of Tarantino and Scorsese in terms of editing, non-linear structure and killer soundtrack. Rahim commands the screen with his sinister snake-eyed charm. Superior stuff, although it’s docked a few points for failing to include a scene in which the French-accented Coleman wears an obvious disguise and says, “It is I, Leclerc.”

Celebrity: A 21^st Century Story – Tuesday to New Year’s Day, BBC Two, 9pm

If you feel like ending chucklesome 2020 on a particularly desolate note, watch this grimly diverting series about the birth and growth of modern celebrity culture. The first series of Big Brother, which enveloped an unwary nation 20 years ago, looks so innocent now, but it spawned a monster. Reality TV and money-spinning talent contests elevated people to instant stardom. They were exploited and discarded by villains such as Simon Cowell and Piers Morgan. Fame for fame’s sake became the abiding narrative. The media landscape became shallower, grubbier, allowing rampant narcissists such as Johnson and Trump to seize power. People began to live their lives in public via powerful social media platforms. And this is where we are. Happy New Year!

Bruce Dickinson: Scream for Me Sarajevo – Tuesday, BBC Four, 9pm

In December 1994, Iron Maiden frontman Bruce Dickinson performed a concert during the Siege of Sarajevo. Dickinson and his band risked their lives to entertain people trapped in the midst of a hellish warzone, but this excellent documentary is about so much more than that. It’s a humbling account of Bosnians rising up against their barbaric fascist oppressors, using art as a weapon of defiance. Although Dickinson contributes his side of the story – his account of organising the concert provides some sporadic light relief - the film focuses on the kids who lived through the horror of ethnic cleansing. It contains necessarily distressing scenes and eyewitness accounts. You may, however, emerge with some hope for humanity.

The Nine Lives of Ozzy Osbourne – Wednesday, BBC Two, 10pm

You can’t have too much metal at Christmas, so here’s a profile of the man who forged it all. Produced by the Osbournes themselves, it’s very much an official document of Ozzy’s wild life, but it’s no hagiography. How could it be? There is just no way to frame this story in an entirely upbeat way. He’s a recovering addict who, at his most deranged, once tried to kill his wife, Sharon. But she forgave him, as did his children. For all his failings, he is beloved. Ozzy comes across as a fundamentally decent, sensitive soul who for years could only cope with life on a colossal diet of drink and drugs. But the film feels like a eulogy.

Billy Connolly: It’s Been a Pleasure – Hogmanay, STV, 9:30pm

Ever since he went public with his Parkinson’s diagnosis a few years ago, there have been several programmes paying tribute to The Big Yin. Quite right too, he’s one of the greatest stand-ups of all time, right up there with Pryor. As he prepares to retire from the spotlight, this programme celebrates some of his funniest stand-up moments. Preview copies weren’t available, but we’re promised a new interview with Billy from his Florida home, plus the obligatory glowing assessments from celebrity fans such as Elton John, Whoopi Goldberg, Lenny Henry, Paul McCartney and Dustin Hoffman (hasn’t he been cancelled?). Billy is one of the few comedians who can make me cry with laughter. He’s a beacon of joy.

Doctor Who – New Year’s Day, BBC One, 6:45pm

It’s just so sad, really. Jodie Whittaker being cast as the first female Doctor was a cause for celebration, but from day one she’s been saddled with the staggering ineptitude of showrunner Chris Chibnall. I say this without a hint of hyperbole: the man is an abysmal writer. How I miss the wit, craft and emotional depth of his predecessors, Russell T. Davies and Steven Moffat. Chibnall seemingly writes via hastily scribbled Post-It notes. Clumsy political satire abounds in this typically anodyne episode, wherein poor old Whittaker and returning guest-star John Barrowman gamely plod from A to B. Bradley Walsh, who has been excellent as one of the Doctor’s companions, needn’t have bothered turning up at all. They all deserve better.

LAST WEEK’S TV

Worzel Gummidge – Christmas Eve, BBC One

Just like last year, Mackenzie Crook’s adaptation of Barbara Euphan Todd’s classic books for children stole the Christmas TV crown. Crook, who writes, directs and stars as Worzel, gets everything just right. It’s funny, clever, charming, moving and ever so slightly creepy. The latest episode featured a wonderfully bizarre performance from Shirley Henderson as Saucy Nancy, the ship’s masthead whose salty profanities make no sense whatsoever (by sheer coincidence, in the much-loved Jon Pertwee version, Nancy was played by the recently departed Barbara Windsor). Crook’s Worzel feels like a natural follow-up to Detectorists, which also contained traces of vaguely eerie yet essentially comforting English folklore; the strange, ancient magic of the fields. It’s such a beautiful piece of work.

The Wall Versus Celebrities – Christmas Eve, BBC One

“We don’t spread Corona in this gaff!” I love The Wall. The very idea of Danny Dyer hosting a gameshow is ridiculous. That’s why it works. The game itself is solid, enjoyable, but it wouldn’t be nearly as much fun without uber-geezer Dyer at the helm. Unless you count “Is it wrong, or is it right?” as a catchphrase, he doesn’t bother with the standard golden rules of gameshow hosting. Yes, he nudges it along and looks like he’s enjoying himself, but apart from that he trims off all the fat. The disembodied voice of Angela Rippon asks the questions, Dyer isn’t required to do even that. It’s an absolute masterclass in achieving stellar results while apparently doing nothing.

 

RED PENGUINS: MURDER, MONEY AND ICE HOCKEY + THE VICAR OF DIBLEY IN LOCKDOWN + SMALL AXE

This article was originally published in The Courier on 5th December 2020.

NEXT WEEK’S TV

Red Penguins: Murder, Money and Ice Hockey – Monday, BBC Four, 10pm

When the Soviet Union fell in the early 1990s, Russia struggled to deal with the sudden reality of becoming a free market economy. A playful Storyville documentary with a sinister underbelly, Red Penguins presents the bizarre saga of a short-lived American investment in Russia’s national ice hockey team as a symbol of rampant capitalism at its ugliest and most chaotic. The star of the show is one Steven Warshaw, a charismatic oddball who was tasked with marketing the team to a brave new world. His ideas included hiring strippers as cheerleaders and enlisting actual bears to serve free beer to fans. And then Disney got involved. The Russian Mafia moved in. There were fights, death threats, bedlam all around.

The Vicar of Dibley in Lockdown – Monday, BBC One, 8:50pm

I never had any time for The Vicar of Dibley. I’m all for Dawn French and I will defend, if pushed, some of Richard Curtis’ solo work, but Dibley was always white noise; the bland comedy equivalent of a Mail on Sunday advert for commemorative Diana tea towels. And now it’s back via three interminable ten-minute shorts in which Reverend Geraldine delivers awkward online sermons to the people of Dibley during the first national lockdown. In episode one she conducts a Zoom chat with some annoying children and entertains a pointless cameo from Hugo (James Fleet). None of the jokes land, it’s embarrassing, like a hastily cobbled-together DVD extra (remember them?) with ideas above its station.

Nadiya’s American Adventures – Thursday, BBC One, 8pm

Nadiya Hussein has always been fascinated by America, which is home to more immigrants than anywhere else on Earth. In episode one of this heartening culinary travelogue, she arrives in Louisiana to immerse herself in a banquet of sizzling soul food. A combination of African, Caribbean and European cuisine, soul food is a potent symbol of cultural identity and diversity. In New Orleans, Hussein – a charming, funny, empathetic guide - meets an optimistic Lower Ninth Ward grocery store owner who provides succour to his Katrina-scarred community, and a Mardi Gras bandleader devoted to helping local kids. She also dabbles in Cajun cooking. Hussein doesn’t ignore the hardship, the rank injustice, but this is ultimately a celebration of tradition and endurance.

Snackmasters – Thursday, Channel 4, 8pm

I’m ever so slightly fond of this knowingly trivial series in which Fred Sirieix presides over a bunch of Michelin-starred chefs tasked with cracking the sacred ingredient codes of cheap, popular everyday snacks. In this episode, they have to manufacture some Quavers: “the snack equivalent of Brigitte Bardot” according to Fred, who has presumably never munched upon a Quaver in his life. The central gag, obviously, is that classy French Fred looks down on our unhealthy British obsession with salty potato snacks, while the ludicrously competitive chefs are overqualified and out of their depth. But it never feels sneering, the whole thing is delivered with a cheery wink. It’s a deep-fried bucket of nothing, it means no harm.

New Elizabethans with Andrew Marr – Thursday, BBC Two, 9pm

Chapter two of Marr’s social history essay is slightly more coherent than his rambling opening salvo. He continues to highlight some of the notable public figures who have, for better or ill, helped to shape British society since the Queen ascended the throne in 1952. This week’s heroes and villains include David Attenborough, Tony Benn, Bob Geldof, Colin ‘Mad Mitch’ Mitchell, Louis Mountbatten and Eric Clapton’s idol Enoch Powell, but the most diverting segments are devoted to the lesser known likes of Mediterranean cuisine proselytizer Elizabeth David, the game-changing strike leader Jayaben Desai, and the heroically dedicated Greenham Common protestor Helen John. Power to (some of) the people. Marr, as always, presents with his usual mix of gravitas and impishness.

The Sound of TV with Neil Brand – Friday, BBC Four, 9pm

As this delightful series continues, Brand examines some of television’s most memorable jingles, idents, beds and stings. He meets Roger Greenaway, co-author of I’d Like to Teach the World to Sing, that pseudo-hippie anthem designed to shift gallons of Coke (and which will now be forever associated with Mad Men). He also talks to Linda November, who has sang over 2,000 jingles during her highly successful yet more or less invisible career. Brand’s overarching point is that this music, no matter how banal it may seem, isn’t just thrown together without any thought. Deceptive simplicity is key to its psychological effect on viewers/consumers. That 1980s Shake n’ Vac ad may be rather daft, but you remember it fondly don’t you?

LAST WEEK’S TV

Michael McIntyre’s The Wheel – Saturday 28th November, BBC One 

Is BBC One trying to start a Saturday night gameshow turf war? If so, I’m backing Danny Dyer’s weirdly mesmerising The Wall over this lacklustre confection. Dyer’s permanently hungover disinterest is so much more appealing than McIntyre’s hyperactive jollity. The premise: seven celebrities are seated on the outer rim of an oversized roulette wheel guaranteed to trigger motion sickness. They claim to be experts in a particular field, but the contestants seated in the centre of the wheel are at the mercy of its randomness. Joey Essex, for example, won’t be much help in answering a question about World War II. The best gameshows are often the simplest, but The Wheel is far too repetitive. Round and round it spins into oblivion. 

Small Axe – Sunday 29th November, BBC One

Steve McQueen’s latest film told the true story of Leroy Logan (John Boyega), a young black man who joined the police in the 1980s, believing that he could challenge institutionally racist attitudes from within. Logan eventually became the first chair of the National Black Police Association, but McQueen focused on his horrific early days in the force. It highlighted how terribly alone he felt. Logan endured racist abuse from white colleagues and suspicion from within his own community. Yet despite his anger and frustration, he never gave up hope. Featuring excellent performances from Boyega and Steve Touissant as Logan’s proud, conflicted father, this episode confirmed what I’ve said from the beginning: show Small Axe in schools, embed it within the curriculum.

 

THE SOUND OF TV WITH NEIL BRAND + SMALL AXE

This article was originally published in The Courier on 28th November 2020.

NEXT WEEK’S TV

The Sound of TV with Neil Brand – Friday, BBC Four, 9pm

The best television theme tunes are indelibly embedded within the national psyche. The ones we grew up in particular with invoke a Proustian rush unlike any other. Neil Brand, that estimable composer and pop culture enthusiast, knows this only too well. His latest series is an embarrassment of riches in which he celebrates the enduring spell of television music. He offers eloquent insight into how and why the best theme tunes work, with highlights including a visit to Portmeirion, where he dissects el maestro Ron Grainer’s dynamic theme from The Prisoner, and a meeting with Dick Mills of the BBC Radiophonic Workshop, who analyses the great Delia Derbyshire’s ground-breaking electronic arrangement of Grainer’s Doctor Who theme. It’s all wonderful.

Hospital – Monday, BBC Two, 9pm

Filmed just a couple of months ago, the latest episode of this urgent frontline documentary follows staff at Barnet Hospital in London as they treat elderly patients while dealing with a bed shortage exacerbated by the pandemic. The hospital, which is part of the Royal Free London NHS Foundation Trust, is situated in a borough with nearly one hundred care homes. The A&E department has been pushed to its limit. Winter, a time when older people are at their most vulnerable, is looming. Covid-19 is on the rise again. The point of this series couldn’t be clearer. No amount of well-meaning public applause and utensil-banging can compensate for the government’s catastrophic mishandling of the pandemic.

Paul O’Grady’s Great British Escape – Wednesday, STV, 8pm

This week, the nationally treasurable O’Grady reads some Chaucer to his pigs as a prologue to a sojourn in Canterbury. While there, he checks up on the major renovation of Canterbury Cathedral (“Good job I had a stent put in,” he quips while scaling its heights), pops into the cosy country pub where Ian Fleming wrote You Only Live Twice, takes a ride on a vintage steam train, and visits an endangered big cat sanctuary (they’re very keen on Calvin Klein-infused catnip, apparently). This is, quite simply, a nice series. It may not add up to much in the grand scheme of things, but God knows we need some fleeting escape from the grand scheme of things sometimes.

New Elizabethans with Andrew Marr – Thursday, BBC Two, 9pm

Marr’s latest essay is a scattershot dud. His stated aim is to illustrate how British society has changed dramatically during Liz II’s lengthy time on the throne – the second Elizabethan age. To that end he’s chosen a handful of notable public figures who reflect that transformation. A sound idea in theory, but Marr spends far too little time on each of his nominations. The result is a superficial overview, a smash and grab advert for his tie-in book. You simply cannot do justice to the fascinating likes of (deep breath) Graham Chapman, Diana Dors, Ruth Ellis, Tracey Emin, Darcus Howe, Roy Jenkins, Alan McGee, Nancy Mitford, Jan Morris and Mary Whitehouse in the space of an hour. It’s pointless.

Grayson’s Art Club: The Exhibition – Friday, Channel 4, 8pm

Earlier this year, Grayson Perry delivered some emergency lockdown cheer via his Channel 4 series in which he encouraged people to express their hopes and fears through the democratic medium of art. In this one-off special, Perry and his equally splendid wife, the psychotherapist Philippa Perry, host a socially distanced Manchester Art Gallery exhibition of the work they curated during that series. Preview copies weren’t available, the show is still being edited as I type these words, but I can pretty much guarantee that it will fleetingly restore your faith in human nature. The Perrys aren’t pretentious, they’re arty egalitarians. C4 have assured us that, once lockdown is lifted, Grayson’s Art Club will make a triumphant return.

Waterhole: Africa’s Animal Oasis – Friday, BBC Two, 9pm

In this enlightening series, Chris Packham and biologist Ella Al-Shamahi examine the life-threatening impact of climate change on the African ecosystem. They’re on a protected wildlife preserve in Tanzania, where the BBC’s Natural History Unit have built a waterhole discreetly rigged with cameras. Their aim is to study the ways in which these vital sources of water manage to support so many competing species. Episode one is liberally stocked with buffalo, warthogs, elephants, leopards, lions and zebras, who eye each other suspiciously like rival gangs in a pub carpark. But peace is maintained by their overriding need to sup from the waterhole whenever the chance arises. Some of the footage, most of it filmed at night, is extraordinary.

LAST WEEK’S TV

Fela Kuti: Father of Afrobeat – Saturday 21st November, BBC Two

The Nigerian musician Fela Kuti was a revolutionary artist, a radical political activist, a countercultural hero. He was also an enigma. By the end of this frustrating documentary, I felt no closer to understanding him than I did at the start. It succeeded in illustrating Kuti’s fearlessness when it came to standing up against a dictatorial regime in the 1970s and 1980s – he risked his life in the name of personal freedom – but it skirted coyly around the subject of his communal compound, which was full of young women at his beck and call. Some of them, it hinted, may have been underage. No one had a bad word to say about him, but an uncomfortable subtext simmered throughout.

Small Axe – Sunday 22nd November, BBC One

The second film in Steve McQueen’s anthology of dramas about London’s West Indian community was an immersive ode to youth in all of its intensity, romance, confusion and defiance. It took place at a house party in 1980, a time when young black people weren’t welcome in predominantly white nightclubs. McQueen’s camera lingered fondly (not creepily) over kids on the verge of adulthood as they sang, danced, smoked, drank and fell for each other. But this was no rose-tinted celebration. A woman was raped. Racism circled the building. The party represented an oasis of escape set against an encroaching backdrop of violence. McQueen, with characteristic eye for vivid detail, captured all the joy and pain. A magnificent piece of work.

 

SMALL AXE + A SPECIAL SCHOOL + THE HIJACKER WHO VANISHED: THE MYSTERY OF D.B. COOPER

This article was originally published in The Courier on 21st November 2020. 

NEXT WEEK’S TV

The Hijacker Who Vanished: The Mystery of D.B. Cooper – Monday, BBC Four, 9pm

In November 1971, a man who came to be known as D.B. Cooper hijacked a commercial flight, demanded a $200,000 ransom, then made a daring escape via parachute. No trace of him was ever found. It is the only unsolved case of air piracy in aviation history. This absorbing Storyville documentary is inevitably inconclusive, we will probably never know who Cooper was and what became of him, but that doesn’t really matter. The mystery surrounding him is so strange, it sustains dramatic interest. We meet a woman who claims that her husband confessed to being Cooper on his deathbed, a couple who insist he was transgender, and a retired FBI agent who is convinced that Cooper was a decorated Vietnam veteran. Or was he all of the above? Answer: no. But it's quite a saga.

Hospital – Monday, BBC Two, 9pm

As this exemplary series continues, Royal Free London’s staff are gradually recovering from the first Covid wave while preparing for the second. Under normal circumstances, their transplant unit deals with 12 cases a month. At the moment, due to massive delays caused by the pandemic, they’re dealing with 20. If the unit is forced to close down again, the effects could be catastrophic. The programme spotlights seriously ill patients in urgent need of treatment, as doctors, nurses and consultants struggle to surmount the restrictions placed upon them. The reciprocal healthcare system has saved millions of lives, but Brexit legislation is threatening the influx of vital organs and medication from Europe. Still, at least we won’t have to worry about any more misshapen bananas.

Return from ISIS: A Family’s Story – Monday, BBC One, 10:45pm

A few years ago, Samantha Sally, her husband Moussa and their two young children left a comfortable life in America to join ISIS in Syria. Samantha, who is now in prison, has always claimed Moussa tricked her into believing they were moving to Morocco. In this troubling Panorama report, Sally initially comes across as an innocent victim. But the deeper it digs, the murkier it becomes. Sally and her children eventually escaped, but Matthew, now 13, is in therapy to help him deal with the trauma. Brainwashed by his father and seemingly encouraged by his mother, Matthew was used as a propaganda tool. The stark video footage of him assembling a suicide belt – “my new toy” – will haunt you. 

Sofia Coppola: A Life Cinematic – Wednesday, BBC Four, 10pm

This intermittent series of specials in which filmmakers discuss their biggest influences continues with the arthouse writer/director best known for Lost in Translation and The Virgin Suicides. The interlocutor is Edith Bowman, who comes across as more passionate and insightful than her subject. Coppola seems perfectly pleasant, but she doesn’t have much to say about the films she’s chosen. Her work is often accused of being all style and no substance; it’s quite telling that sound design and art direction are the aspects of filmmaking she’s most comfortable with during this semi-informal interview. Excellent choices, though. Films under mild review include Brief Encounter, Do the Right Thing, Fish Tank and In the Mood for Love.

Saving Britain’s Pubs with Tom Kerridge – Thursday, BBC Two, 8pm

During the final stage of his nationwide mission, Kerridge tackles the disastrous effects of the pandemic on an already ailing industry. During lockdown, he stays in touch with the various landlords he’s been assisting since last November. In order to stay afloat, most of them have set up takeaway services for local residents in need. Kerridge has always argued that pubs provide a vital community service, and it’s hard to disagree. As always, he’s full of sound, friendly advice. When the pubs eventually reopen, he assures their owners that social distancing measures needn’t destroy the convivial atmosphere that customers have come to except. With regards to his own pub, he says, “We practice physical distancing, but we’re socially close.”

A Special School – Friday, BBC Two, 7pm

In the final episode of this touching series about Britain’s biggest school for children with additional learning needs, motorbikin’ head teacher Chris Britten – an abundantly lovely man – gets ready for Christmas. We meet the school hairdresser, the home economics teacher and a team of nurses, all of whom exemplify the school’s humbling philosophy. This is an environment defined by unconditional love and acceptance, where children are encouraged to discover their self-esteem and a sense of independence. The rock school programme, a free creative outlet, is a perfect example. “It makes me happy,” says Rhiannon, who sings in the band. “I just love to let my voice out. It has helped my anxiety, I feel more myself when I’m singing.”

LAST WEEK’S TV

Small Axe – Sunday 15th November, BBC One

This excoriating drama from Oscar-winning filmmaker Steve McQueen (12 Years a Slave) told the hitherto shamefully underexposed true story of Frank Crichlow, a West Indian man whose Notting Hill restaurant was repeatedly raided by police in the late 1960s and 1970s.

When Crichlow and his friends, including the activist Darcus Howe, mounted a peaceful protest against this racial discrimination, they were met with more police brutality and thrown in jail. The ensuing trial, a black power triumph, exposed the systematic racism coursing through British society. But their victory, while significant, was fleeting.

McQueen’s point was clear and powerfully conveyed: racism may be less blatant in this supposedly enlightened age, but it still exists in a more insidious form. It is everywhere. This vital, relevant film should be shown in schools as part of the curriculum.

God knows I find it difficult to defend the BBC sometimes, but hats off to them for showing such an important and uncompromising piece in a primetime slot usually reserved for period dramas about privileged white people. There are four more films to follow in the series.

Ronnie’s: Ronnie Scott and His World Famous Jazz Club – Sunday 15th November, BBC Two

Part celebration, part requiem, this beautiful feature-length documentary about the legendary London jazzman struck several potent chords. Throughout his colourful life, Scott was known to the public as the genial co-owner of Britain’s hippest jazz club. He was a self-effacing clown who, for over 30 years, told deliberately bad jokes while playing host to the cream of international jazz talent. In private he suffered from depression, and lamented the fact that he was, generally speaking, better known as a comedy emcee than as a talented musician in his own right. And yet he never lost his passion for music. No wonder. The film was packed with electrifying live performances, all of them facilitated by the great man himself. 

 

 

 

WHAT WE WERE WATCHING: SONG AND DANCE SPECTACULARS + HIS DARK MATERIALS + INDUSTRY

A version of this article was originally published in The Courier on Saturday 14th November 2020. 

NEXT WEEK’S TV

What We Were Watching: Song and Dance Spectaculars – Friday, BBC Four, 7pm

This, much to my surprise, is a mini-masterclass in how to present a compendium of archive light entertainment. In the late ‘60s and ‘70s, dance troupes such as Pan’s People and The Young Generation were toothsome fixtures on British television. They were naff, brilliant, weird, charming; vaguely hippie-ish, but thoroughly scrubbed clean of all muddy traces of the counterculture.

Their elaborate and sometimes overly-literal interpretations of contemporary pop hits were something to behold. Host Grace Dent is clearly a fan. I was expecting an irony-drenched sneer-fest. Instead, it's a fond, irreverent celebration. Dent's links are brief, she allows room for the clips to breathe. Highlights include a Lulu performance of the Theme from Shaft featuring a cameo from Les Dawson, Aretha enduring awkward comedy banter with Cliff, and The Young Generation launching the Keep Britain Tidy campaign. It’s all wonderful.

My Family, the Holocaust and Me with Robert Rinder – Monday, BBC One, 10:45pm

In the second and final episode of this haunting series, Rinder and his mother visit Treblinka for the first time. It is estimated that between 700,000 and 900,000 Jews were murdered at Treblinka. Several of the Rinder’s ancestors were among them.  “Our family had names,” says Rinder. “They were alive, they lived and they died here.” We also meet Noemie, whose French mother was arrested as a child by the Nazis. Now 85, she has never spoken of her experience. When Neomie travels to France, she uncovers an extraordinary story of survival. Meanwhile, Bernie’s difficult journey continues with a visit to Dachau, where his uncle died. By recounting these stories we restore the humanity of those who were lost. We remember, always.

12 Puppies and Us – Wednesday, BBC Two, 8pm

Those first few months between humans and their pets are crucial. In this upbeat series, various families and pups adjust to their new lives together. The star turn this week is Fabio, a Chinese Crested Powderpuff who has essentially been purchased as a replacement for a scraggy little muppet called Hugo (RIP). Alisa doted on Hugo, who happily put up with wearing a variety of kitschy outfits. Fabio doesn’t appear to be humiliated by this leisurewear either. Alisa’s partner, Colin, wryly accepts his lowly place in the pecking order. The programme isn’t cruel or judgemental, it accepts Alisa for the mildly eccentric person she is. Her little family – there are no children – is happy.

Paul O’Grady’s Great British Escape – Wednesday, STV, 8pm

Paul O’Grady is television’s nicest man. Face facts, Palin, you monster. This series is really just an excuse to spend some time in his friendly, quick-witted company, as he wanders around his adopted county of Kent. It’s a picturesque balm. In episode two he embraces the beautiful desolation of Romney Marsh, where he gingerly encounters some leeches, goes fishing for shrimp, and visits an alpaca farm. Like Connolly and Palin (sorry about what I said earlier, Mike), O’Grady bonds naturally with everyone he meets. He’s either a very good actor, or he’s someone without a trace of showbiz ego. Also, hats off to whoever compiles the soundtracks for his programmes: Iggy, Elvis and Otis are among the picks this week.

A Special School – Friday, BBC Two, 7pm

“Communication is every child’s right. No matter what level they’re at, they have every right to communicate something.” So says one of the many inspiring teachers in this beautifully-made BBC Wales series about Ysgol y Deri, Britain’s preeminent school for children with special needs. 15-year-old Luke was born with a hole in his brain, but his cognitive abilities are acute. Via voice-generating software, he articulates his fears and frustrations: “I hate it when people patronise me, especially when people talk to me like a baby. It makes me feel hurt and uncomfortable.” His family, friends and teachers never patronise him. They accept him for who he is. “It makes me feel humble,” he says.

Between the Covers – Friday, BBC Two, 7:30pm

In the final episode of this emergency televised podcast, the likeable broadcaster Sara Cox hosts another celebrity book group. Her guests this week are Desiree Burch, Ben Miller, Graham Norton and – here she is again – Grace Dent. Norton gets in a plug for his third (third?!) novel, while praising one of his favourite books, The Uncommon Reader by Alan Bennett. He makes a sound point: if you meet a prospective partner who doesn’t enjoy Bennett’s work, then they’re definitely not for you. So much time and heartache could be avoided via use of that simple test. This cosy little series, this chattering media bubble of absolutely nothing, may serve as a vaporous distraction while Trump barricades himself inside a cupboard with the nuclear codes.

Griff’s Great Australian Adventure – Friday, STV, 8pm

ITV aren’t even trying with their celebrity travelogue titles now, they all merge into a ‘great’ morass of blandness. Penelope Keith’s Berserk Icelandic Rumble; David Jason’s Outstanding Hats of Minsk. They’d stand out in the listings. Griff Rhys Jones, to his credit, is an affable conduit for this sort of thing. The title isn’t his fault. He’s no O’Grady, but he has his own distinctive spin. Griff is never conspicuously impressed by anything. He’s bemused and amused, but not in an insulting way. This week, his continent-spanning train journey stops off in rural Queensland, where he cautiously observes farmers extracting semen from a bull. He also meets some archaeologists dusting for dinosaur tracks in the middle of nowhere.

LAST WEEK’S TV

His Dark Materials – Sunday 8th November, BBC One

Tarot cards on the table: I am immune to the charms of epic fantasy fiction involving wizards and whatnot. I simply cannot fathom the appeal, no matter how hard I try. The first series of this adaptation of Philip Pullman’s trilogy was particularly gruelling. A hectic, rudderless tumult of riddle-me-ree prophecies with no emotional core. Even as a fantasy sceptic, I found it bewildering and tedious. 

So no, of course I didn’t enjoy its return last week. As before, all I could find to admire were its production values and the performances by Dafne Keen and Ruth Wilson. This is poor storytelling on a massive scale. An expensive mess, the very worst kind of mess. I will never speak of it again.

Industry – Wednesday 11th November, BBC Two

It’s possible to sculpt a decent drama around awful people with too much money. We’ve all seen This Life. But this HBO/BBC co-production about young London investment bankers is a ghastly chore. It’s presumably intended as a sharp piece of satire, an arch meditation on the hollowness of capitalist greed. It misses the mark completely. Industry expects us to care about these characters on some level, while wringing its hands over the chrome and glass world they inhabit. 

The characters are bland. Their world is objectively vile and soulless. So what’s the point? There is nothing to engage with. This pilot was directed by Lena Dunham, an obliviously entitled artist who will never understand why people find her work so annoying.

THE SISTER + LIFE + HAIR POWER: ME AND MY AFRO

A version of this article was originally published in The Courier on 24th October 2020.

NEXT WEEK’S TV

THE SISTER

Monday to Thursday, STV, 9pm

This spooked pulp thriller is written by Neil Cross of Luther renown/infamy, which should give you some idea of what to expect. It’s knowingly daft and engulfed in histrionic murk. Typical Cross hokum. Russell Tovey stars as a man with a seemingly perfect life who is secretly haunted by his involvement in the death of a young woman several years ago. The only other person who knows what happened that night is Bob, an eccentric paranormal expert played by the shamelessly scene-stealing Bertie Carvel (he has the mien of a creepy, druggy Dickensian weirdo). To say any more would spoil the fun, but Cross does a good job of building tension as he gradually peels away the layers of his mystery. 

LIFE

Tuesday, BBC One, 9pm

In the penultimate episode of this superior drama from Mike Bartlett, Gail (Alison Steadman) returns to her terminally ill husband Henry (Peter Davison) after a much-needed period of freedom. Henry is a self-centred bully, but Gail decides that, after 50 years of marriage, she should be by his side when he passes away. He’s a lucky man. Meanwhile, Belle’s (Victoria Hamilton) continuing struggles with alcohol leads to yet another excruciating scene. Bartlett is obviously more invested in the Gail, Henry and Belle storylines – the others are basically subplots – but he deserves praise for his compassionate excavation of the pain, fear, loneliness and disappointment of everyday life. A barrel of laughs it is not, but that’s Life. Sorry.

HAIR POWER: ME AND MY AFRO

Tuesday, Channel 4, 10:15pm

Now this is great. As part of Black History Month, academic and writer Emma Dabiri explores the vast cultural significance of afro-textured hair through the ages. For people of colour, to embrace the beauty of natural kinks and curls is an empowering form of self-expression. Dabiri meets people who grew up under pressure to conform to a Eurocentric ideal: straight hair equals good hair. Generations of kids felt compelled to attack their scalps with scorching chemical products. That’s yet another form of systematically racist oppression. Dabiri also examines the social significance of barbers and salons within the black community, while highlighting various forms of micro-aggression, unconscious bias and cultural appropriation. It’s a fascinating and rather beautiful essay.

DAMILOLA: THE BOY NEXT DOOR

Wednesday, Channel 4, 9pm

20 years ago, 10-year-old Damilola Taylor was stabbed and killed mere yards from his home. In this moving tribute, Yinka Bokinni, who is now a successful radio DJ, speaks about her late friend and neighbour for the first time. She paints a vivid portrait of a funny, bouncy, carefree kid whose life was tragically cut short. She also challenges the media-led view that her Peckham estate was Hell on Earth. Yes, there was crime and poverty, but it was a tightknit multicultural community. Bokinni makes a hugely important point: when you shovel people into substandard housing, you can’t just wash your hands of them. That’s a convenient way of ignoring the wider issue of cause and effect.

POWERING BRITAIN

Thursday, BBC Two, 7:30pm

Hornsea One, the world’s biggest offshore windfarm, is situated 75 miles off the Yorkshire Coast. In the first episode of this stats-encrusted series about the hardworking pros who answer to Britain’s energy demands, presenter Keeley Donovan meets some of the men and women responsible for running a hugely impressive eco-friendly project. With good reason, she marvels at this aquatic conurbation of massive turbines, each one taller than the Gherkin and wider than the London Eye (Donovan’s breathless claim that they’re wide enough to accommodate an adult elephant is inadvertently and pleasingly Chris Morris-esque). Mild peril warning: if you’re prone to claustrophobia and vertigo, you may be triggered by Donovan’s ascent of one of the turbines.

THE TRUMP SHOW

Thursday, BBC Two, 9pm

As this grimly compelling series concludes, we come right up to date. By January 2019, Trump had sacked everyone in his administration who’d tried to reign him in. His behaviour became even more bizarre and messianic. When his chief of staff admitted that the Ukranian government had been blackmailed into smearing Joe Biden, the Democrats seized their chance to remove Trump from office. The impeachment process failed in large part because Trump managed to intimidate Republican members of the Senate into supporting him. Then came Covid and the murder of George Floyd. Trump’s blind mishandling of these situations has been utterly catastrophic. America, you know what to do next month. This pathological liar, this gangster narcissist, is utterly unfit for office.

MAXXX

Thursday, Channel 4, 10pm

Maxxx is a former boyband superstar who has fallen on hard times. He’s a desperate mess, an insecure buffoon who struggles with various personal issues. He’s also quite likeable, despite his many flaws. This new comedy actually made me chuckle. That, I assure you, is a ringing endorsement of sorts. Writer/director/star O.T. Fagbenle understands that failure is funny, but only when leavened with a bit of pathos. The latter isn’t overdone, it’s naturally ingrained within Maxxx’s character. He’s lonely, heartbroken, lost. All he wants to do is make a comeback and restore his flimsy sense of self-worth. Maxxx is a fairly sharp farce and Fagbenle inhabits his creation with just the right amount of oblivious arrogance.    

LAST WEEK’S TV

ROADKILL

Sunday 18th October, BBC One 

Hats off to the BBC for commissioning a slyly scathing political drama in which the central character is a thinly disguised hybrid of Johnson and Farage. Roadkill makes no bones about how manipulative and dangerous these self-styled ‘LOL legend’ charlatans are. Written by David Hare, this isn’t a cosy centrist satire. It has bite. Hugh Laurie is perfect as a philandering, superficially charming government minister who blithely assumes he can get away with anything. It began with him successfully suing a newspaper for libel, but the journalist who went after him refuses to back down. Hare is clearly enjoying himself as he spins several plates at once. Let’s just hope they don’t all come crashing down. Roadkill is promising. Of course, the BBC is largely responsible for the rise of Johnson, they helped him to cultivate his disingenuous persona, so in that sense Roadkill is too little too late. The damage has been done. But I will accept it as a form of atonement. Big of me, I know.

WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?

Monday 19th October, BBC One

In this particularly interesting episode, David Walliams discovered that his great grandfather, who served during WWI, suffered from severe PTSD. He spent the rest of his life in a psychiatric hospital, or ‘lunatic asylum’ as they were known in those very different times. His tragic story illustrated just how valuable this show can sometimes be as a sensitive piece of social history. On a much lighter note, Walliams was delighted to learn that his great-great grandfather was a travelling showman who eventually escaped from poverty via the fairground business. Cynical caveat: WDYTYA proves that celebrities with a hitherto weirdly incurious attitude towards their family history will suddenly develop a deep and solemn interest when there’s a fee involved.

 

 

 

 

 

THE TRUMP SHOW + THE MILLION POUND CUBE

A version of this article was originally published in The Courier on 17th October 2020.

NEXT WEEK’S TV

THE TRUMP SHOW

Thursday, BBC Two, 9pm

In episode two of this damning account of Trump’s presidency, we reach his second year in office. He’s facing 18 allegations of sexual assault. The CIA claims to have proof of his electoral collusion with Russia. He’s a wanton liability mired in corruption. But Trump is untouchable, impervious. When under attack, he doubles down, invents his own ‘alternative facts’ and attempts to smear anyone who dares oppose him. All Trump cares about is how he can get away with things and spin himself as a winner. The former Apprentice host is a petty, fragile egomaniac without a shred of integrity, he cannot accept defeat on any level. A monstrously dangerous fool.

Contributors this week include Stormy Daniels, the porn star who was paid hush money during the election (she comes across as entirely plausible), and despicable Trump enabler Rudy Giuliani. Not that the rancid petulant child-man will ever see this show, but if he did he’d instantly dismiss it as more fake news from the lamestream liberal media. And so it goes on.

THE MILLION POUND CUBE

Monday to Friday, STV, 9pm

There are few things I enjoy more in life than growling “THE CUBE” to myself while pottering around the house. That’s because I’m easily amused and have nothing better to do. So you can imagine my almost tear-sodden delight upon discovering that The Cube (“THE CUBE”), that Schofield-fronted quiz o’ nonsense, has returned after a gap of five long years. This triumphant week-long comeback involves celebs trying their best to raise £1,000,000 for charity. If you haven’t seen it before, imagine The Crystal Maze crossed with a light-entertainment Black Mirror. A dystopian game show with meerkat ad-breaks. Philip Schofield hosting The Running Man via RoboCop. I’d buy that for a dollar.

IN THE FACE OF TERROR

Monday, BBC Two, 9pm

Far right groups are the world’s fastest growing terror threat. In the final episode of this resonant series about ordinary people directly affected by acts of terror, we visit Christchurch, New Zealand, where in March 2019, a far right terrorist carried out a mass shooting in two mosques. His attack was streamed live on Facebook. The programme features brief, chilling clips from the livestream, but please don’t be alarmed: no one is shown being hurt or killed, we only see him approaching the mosques in his car. This isn’t an exploitative series, it’s a moving tribute to the victims and their families. It also seeks to understand how confused and angry people can become radicalised online by extremist groups. A thoughtful piece.

LIFE

Tuesday, BBC One, 9pm

In episode four of the only British drama worth following this year, things go from bad to worse (then worse again). I’ve praised the brittle, queasy performances of Peter Davison and Alison Steadman in previous columns, but this week it’s Victoria Hamilton who steals every moment she’s given. Belle (formerly known as Anna from Doctor Foster) is one of Life’s most sympathetic characters. A functioning alcoholic who detests her uptight, lonely life, she puts up a front of cynical self-awareness. Until she has a drink or six. And then it all comes crashing down. Writer Mike Bartlett has hit upon something quite resonant here: a drama about people suffering in their hermetic pods of anguish and pain.

THE NOUGHTIES

Wednesday, BBC Two, 10pm

This cheap filler makes me feel old. I was 25 when the new millennium flipped its calendar. That feels like only yesterday. As The Noughties makes abundantly clear, it wasn’t only yesterday. It’s a mildly diverting time capsule in which Angela Scanlon and her guests – comedians Geoff Norcott and Ellie Taylor in episode one – gather in a socially distanced living room for a natter about the not so distant past. They begin, naturally enough, in the year 2000. Subjects under review include the weird anti-climax of the Y2K bug and the relatively innocent debut of Big Brother. We’re also reminded of Parkinson’s appallingly insensitive interview with Victoria Beckham. His opening gambit: does David wear your knickers and are you anorexic? Even the charmless Norcott looks appalled.

BETWEEN THE COVERS

Friday, BBC Two, 7:30pm

I don’t actually mind the fact that, due to COVID, most television now consists of people chatting in small studios. It reminds me of certain strands of television when I was a child. Appealingly dull, a minor source of low-budget comfort. Between the Covers is a weekly book group in which the likeable Sara Cox tasks various celebrities with… well you know what a book group is. This week, they begin with A Confederacy of Dunces by John Kennedy Toole. Guest Bill Bailey cites it as his favourite novel. Book of the week is Fifty-Fifty, a crime thriller by Steve Cavanagh. Not my sort of thing – I’m a voracious reader of non-fiction only – but some of you might find their recommendations useful.

COUNT BASIE: THROUGH HIS OWN EYES

Friday, BBC Four, 9pm

Count Basie was a swinging big band pioneer. He was also very private. This home movie-assisted documentary sheds some light on the man behind the superstar alias. It’s partially told via the notes Basie wrote for his memoirs during train journeys. He spent most of his adult life on the road; the Count worked hard for a family which included his disabled daughter, Diane. During an era when children with cerebral palsy were often hidden from view, Basie and his wife did no such thing. They doted on her. There is so much to chew on here. Basie was a hugely talented African-American artist who refused to let racism grind him down. He didn’t ignore it, of course, but he never became bitter or angry. That didn’t appear to be part of his character. He even seemed to roll with it when, in the early 1970s, the Black Panther movement accused him of being a bourgeois sell-out.