THE SERPENT + DOCTOR WHO + WORZEL GUMMIDGE

This article was originally published in The Courier on Boxing Day 2020.

NEXT WEEK’S TV 

The Serpent – New Year’s Day, BBC One, 9pm 

This absorbing thriller is based on the sordid true story of French conman and serial killer Charles Sobhraj (Tahar Rahim), who, together with his girlfriend Marie-Andree Leclerc (Jenna Coleman), preyed on hippie backpackers in 1970s Southeast Asia. His unlikely nemesis was a concerned young diplomat from the Dutch embassy. Co-produced by Netflix, it’s a big-budget affair with a distinct whiff of Tarantino and Scorsese in terms of editing, non-linear structure and killer soundtrack. Rahim commands the screen with his sinister snake-eyed charm. Superior stuff, although it’s docked a few points for failing to include a scene in which the French-accented Coleman wears an obvious disguise and says, “It is I, Leclerc.”

Celebrity: A 21^st Century Story – Tuesday to New Year’s Day, BBC Two, 9pm

If you feel like ending chucklesome 2020 on a particularly desolate note, watch this grimly diverting series about the birth and growth of modern celebrity culture. The first series of Big Brother, which enveloped an unwary nation 20 years ago, looks so innocent now, but it spawned a monster. Reality TV and money-spinning talent contests elevated people to instant stardom. They were exploited and discarded by villains such as Simon Cowell and Piers Morgan. Fame for fame’s sake became the abiding narrative. The media landscape became shallower, grubbier, allowing rampant narcissists such as Johnson and Trump to seize power. People began to live their lives in public via powerful social media platforms. And this is where we are. Happy New Year!

Bruce Dickinson: Scream for Me Sarajevo – Tuesday, BBC Four, 9pm

In December 1994, Iron Maiden frontman Bruce Dickinson performed a concert during the Siege of Sarajevo. Dickinson and his band risked their lives to entertain people trapped in the midst of a hellish warzone, but this excellent documentary is about so much more than that. It’s a humbling account of Bosnians rising up against their barbaric fascist oppressors, using art as a weapon of defiance. Although Dickinson contributes his side of the story – his account of organising the concert provides some sporadic light relief - the film focuses on the kids who lived through the horror of ethnic cleansing. It contains necessarily distressing scenes and eyewitness accounts. You may, however, emerge with some hope for humanity.

The Nine Lives of Ozzy Osbourne – Wednesday, BBC Two, 10pm

You can’t have too much metal at Christmas, so here’s a profile of the man who forged it all. Produced by the Osbournes themselves, it’s very much an official document of Ozzy’s wild life, but it’s no hagiography. How could it be? There is just no way to frame this story in an entirely upbeat way. He’s a recovering addict who, at his most deranged, once tried to kill his wife, Sharon. But she forgave him, as did his children. For all his failings, he is beloved. Ozzy comes across as a fundamentally decent, sensitive soul who for years could only cope with life on a colossal diet of drink and drugs. But the film feels like a eulogy.

Billy Connolly: It’s Been a Pleasure – Hogmanay, STV, 9:30pm

Ever since he went public with his Parkinson’s diagnosis a few years ago, there have been several programmes paying tribute to The Big Yin. Quite right too, he’s one of the greatest stand-ups of all time, right up there with Pryor. As he prepares to retire from the spotlight, this programme celebrates some of his funniest stand-up moments. Preview copies weren’t available, but we’re promised a new interview with Billy from his Florida home, plus the obligatory glowing assessments from celebrity fans such as Elton John, Whoopi Goldberg, Lenny Henry, Paul McCartney and Dustin Hoffman (hasn’t he been cancelled?). Billy is one of the few comedians who can make me cry with laughter. He’s a beacon of joy.

Doctor Who – New Year’s Day, BBC One, 6:45pm

It’s just so sad, really. Jodie Whittaker being cast as the first female Doctor was a cause for celebration, but from day one she’s been saddled with the staggering ineptitude of showrunner Chris Chibnall. I say this without a hint of hyperbole: the man is an abysmal writer. How I miss the wit, craft and emotional depth of his predecessors, Russell T. Davies and Steven Moffat. Chibnall seemingly writes via hastily scribbled Post-It notes. Clumsy political satire abounds in this typically anodyne episode, wherein poor old Whittaker and returning guest-star John Barrowman gamely plod from A to B. Bradley Walsh, who has been excellent as one of the Doctor’s companions, needn’t have bothered turning up at all. They all deserve better.

LAST WEEK’S TV

Worzel Gummidge – Christmas Eve, BBC One

Just like last year, Mackenzie Crook’s adaptation of Barbara Euphan Todd’s classic books for children stole the Christmas TV crown. Crook, who writes, directs and stars as Worzel, gets everything just right. It’s funny, clever, charming, moving and ever so slightly creepy. The latest episode featured a wonderfully bizarre performance from Shirley Henderson as Saucy Nancy, the ship’s masthead whose salty profanities make no sense whatsoever (by sheer coincidence, in the much-loved Jon Pertwee version, Nancy was played by the recently departed Barbara Windsor). Crook’s Worzel feels like a natural follow-up to Detectorists, which also contained traces of vaguely eerie yet essentially comforting English folklore; the strange, ancient magic of the fields. It’s such a beautiful piece of work.

The Wall Versus Celebrities – Christmas Eve, BBC One

“We don’t spread Corona in this gaff!” I love The Wall. The very idea of Danny Dyer hosting a gameshow is ridiculous. That’s why it works. The game itself is solid, enjoyable, but it wouldn’t be nearly as much fun without uber-geezer Dyer at the helm. Unless you count “Is it wrong, or is it right?” as a catchphrase, he doesn’t bother with the standard golden rules of gameshow hosting. Yes, he nudges it along and looks like he’s enjoying himself, but apart from that he trims off all the fat. The disembodied voice of Angela Rippon asks the questions, Dyer isn’t required to do even that. It’s an absolute masterclass in achieving stellar results while apparently doing nothing.

 

RED PENGUINS: MURDER, MONEY AND ICE HOCKEY + THE VICAR OF DIBLEY IN LOCKDOWN + SMALL AXE

This article was originally published in The Courier on 5th December 2020.

NEXT WEEK’S TV

Red Penguins: Murder, Money and Ice Hockey – Monday, BBC Four, 10pm

When the Soviet Union fell in the early 1990s, Russia struggled to deal with the sudden reality of becoming a free market economy. A playful Storyville documentary with a sinister underbelly, Red Penguins presents the bizarre saga of a short-lived American investment in Russia’s national ice hockey team as a symbol of rampant capitalism at its ugliest and most chaotic. The star of the show is one Steven Warshaw, a charismatic oddball who was tasked with marketing the team to a brave new world. His ideas included hiring strippers as cheerleaders and enlisting actual bears to serve free beer to fans. And then Disney got involved. The Russian Mafia moved in. There were fights, death threats, bedlam all around.

The Vicar of Dibley in Lockdown – Monday, BBC One, 8:50pm

I never had any time for The Vicar of Dibley. I’m all for Dawn French and I will defend, if pushed, some of Richard Curtis’ solo work, but Dibley was always white noise; the bland comedy equivalent of a Mail on Sunday advert for commemorative Diana tea towels. And now it’s back via three interminable ten-minute shorts in which Reverend Geraldine delivers awkward online sermons to the people of Dibley during the first national lockdown. In episode one she conducts a Zoom chat with some annoying children and entertains a pointless cameo from Hugo (James Fleet). None of the jokes land, it’s embarrassing, like a hastily cobbled-together DVD extra (remember them?) with ideas above its station.

Nadiya’s American Adventures – Thursday, BBC One, 8pm

Nadiya Hussein has always been fascinated by America, which is home to more immigrants than anywhere else on Earth. In episode one of this heartening culinary travelogue, she arrives in Louisiana to immerse herself in a banquet of sizzling soul food. A combination of African, Caribbean and European cuisine, soul food is a potent symbol of cultural identity and diversity. In New Orleans, Hussein – a charming, funny, empathetic guide - meets an optimistic Lower Ninth Ward grocery store owner who provides succour to his Katrina-scarred community, and a Mardi Gras bandleader devoted to helping local kids. She also dabbles in Cajun cooking. Hussein doesn’t ignore the hardship, the rank injustice, but this is ultimately a celebration of tradition and endurance.

Snackmasters – Thursday, Channel 4, 8pm

I’m ever so slightly fond of this knowingly trivial series in which Fred Sirieix presides over a bunch of Michelin-starred chefs tasked with cracking the sacred ingredient codes of cheap, popular everyday snacks. In this episode, they have to manufacture some Quavers: “the snack equivalent of Brigitte Bardot” according to Fred, who has presumably never munched upon a Quaver in his life. The central gag, obviously, is that classy French Fred looks down on our unhealthy British obsession with salty potato snacks, while the ludicrously competitive chefs are overqualified and out of their depth. But it never feels sneering, the whole thing is delivered with a cheery wink. It’s a deep-fried bucket of nothing, it means no harm.

New Elizabethans with Andrew Marr – Thursday, BBC Two, 9pm

Chapter two of Marr’s social history essay is slightly more coherent than his rambling opening salvo. He continues to highlight some of the notable public figures who have, for better or ill, helped to shape British society since the Queen ascended the throne in 1952. This week’s heroes and villains include David Attenborough, Tony Benn, Bob Geldof, Colin ‘Mad Mitch’ Mitchell, Louis Mountbatten and Eric Clapton’s idol Enoch Powell, but the most diverting segments are devoted to the lesser known likes of Mediterranean cuisine proselytizer Elizabeth David, the game-changing strike leader Jayaben Desai, and the heroically dedicated Greenham Common protestor Helen John. Power to (some of) the people. Marr, as always, presents with his usual mix of gravitas and impishness.

The Sound of TV with Neil Brand – Friday, BBC Four, 9pm

As this delightful series continues, Brand examines some of television’s most memorable jingles, idents, beds and stings. He meets Roger Greenaway, co-author of I’d Like to Teach the World to Sing, that pseudo-hippie anthem designed to shift gallons of Coke (and which will now be forever associated with Mad Men). He also talks to Linda November, who has sang over 2,000 jingles during her highly successful yet more or less invisible career. Brand’s overarching point is that this music, no matter how banal it may seem, isn’t just thrown together without any thought. Deceptive simplicity is key to its psychological effect on viewers/consumers. That 1980s Shake n’ Vac ad may be rather daft, but you remember it fondly don’t you?

LAST WEEK’S TV

Michael McIntyre’s The Wheel – Saturday 28th November, BBC One 

Is BBC One trying to start a Saturday night gameshow turf war? If so, I’m backing Danny Dyer’s weirdly mesmerising The Wall over this lacklustre confection. Dyer’s permanently hungover disinterest is so much more appealing than McIntyre’s hyperactive jollity. The premise: seven celebrities are seated on the outer rim of an oversized roulette wheel guaranteed to trigger motion sickness. They claim to be experts in a particular field, but the contestants seated in the centre of the wheel are at the mercy of its randomness. Joey Essex, for example, won’t be much help in answering a question about World War II. The best gameshows are often the simplest, but The Wheel is far too repetitive. Round and round it spins into oblivion. 

Small Axe – Sunday 29th November, BBC One

Steve McQueen’s latest film told the true story of Leroy Logan (John Boyega), a young black man who joined the police in the 1980s, believing that he could challenge institutionally racist attitudes from within. Logan eventually became the first chair of the National Black Police Association, but McQueen focused on his horrific early days in the force. It highlighted how terribly alone he felt. Logan endured racist abuse from white colleagues and suspicion from within his own community. Yet despite his anger and frustration, he never gave up hope. Featuring excellent performances from Boyega and Steve Touissant as Logan’s proud, conflicted father, this episode confirmed what I’ve said from the beginning: show Small Axe in schools, embed it within the curriculum.