This article was originally published in The Courier on 18th December 2021.
NEXT WEEK’S TV
Shaun the Sheep: The Flight Before Christmas – Christmas Eve, BBC One, 6pm
I never cease to be tickled by the deft comic timing and inventiveness of the Aardman Animations team. At their best they’re right up there with the likes of Tex Avery. High praise indeed, but I reckon they deserve it.
The latest festive sojourn to Mossy Bottom Farm is typically delightful. When Shaun’s cute little cousin Timmy accidentally hitches a ride on the Proclaimer-esque farmer’s truck, an urgent rescue mission kicks into gear. A busy village market is no place for an innocent lamb.
I do, however, have a mild complaint: the farmer’s hapless dog really doesn’t deserve the hardship he constantly endures. It’s just not fair and it makes me feel sad. I am 47-years-old.
Two Doors Down – Monday, BBC Two, 9:30pm
As we eavesdrop once again upon these suburban Glasgow neighbours, ‘tis just a few days before Christmas. Prosecco and nibbles abound, although Christine (Elaine C. Smith) opts for a liquid diet of Stella, J.D. and Coke. She’s mourning the recent death of a friend, you see. It’s what she would’ve wanted.
Christine’s ersatz piety – she’s just returned from church – is a source of mirth throughout. The episode also gets tremendous mileage from the phrase “Pat over the back”, which has an inherently funny rhythm to it, and you may find yourself inspired by a kazoo-based game of Name That Tune.
As always, nothing and everything happens all at once. A constant muffled soundtrack of Christmas music enhances the unease.
Mandy: We Wish You a Mandy Christmas – Monday, BBC Two, 10pm
Diane Morgan is best known as the gormless cultural commentator Philomena Cunk, who first appeared on Charlie Brooker’s Weekly Wipe. This, however, is Morgan in auteur mode: a pleasingly peculiar sitcom in which she plays a lonely oddball from a high-rise estate.
I enjoyed series one with reservations; Mandy isn’t hilarious, but I admire Morgan’s commitment to this strange little universe she’s created. And it never outstays its welcome, as each episode is only fifteen-minutes long.
In the grand tradition of yuletide comedy specials, this is a riff on A Christmas Carol. Raddled performance poet John Cooper Clarke cameos as one of Mandy’s spectral visitors. You rarely see curios like this on TV anymore. I’m glad it exists.
Madame Tussauds: The Full Wax – Wednesday, STV, 9pm
This wry documentary peers behind the curtains of London’s legendary wax museum. At first glance it appears to be quite a glib endeavour, but it gradually unveils a surprisingly potent theme about the transience of fame.
If a celebrity is no longer considered relevant, their effigy will be banished to a backroom or melted down altogether. And visitors obviously don’t want to be confronted with disgraced celebs a la Savile: Tussauds doesn’t even have a chamber of horrors these days.
Highlights include the rictus-grinning likeness of Prince Harry being carried around like a deactivated Auton, and the various interjections from cocksure creative director Justin, who comes across as a spectacular wally.
Ghosts – Thursday, BBC One, 8:30pm
The original Horrible Histories team: arguably the most talented British comedy ensemble since The League of Gentlemen? Ghosts is remarkable in that it’s a family-friendly sitcom which neither patronises children nor tips too many knowing winks at their parents. It also combines comedy and pathos in a seemingly effortless way.
In this Christmas special, a homeless man pitches his tent on the grounds of Button House. Inevitably, the only characters who want to send him packing are the WWI Captain and the trouser-shy Tory MP. But even they become swayed by his plight. That’s not a spoiler, Ghosts is rarely downbeat.
Special guest-star Jennifer Saunders is entirely at home in this dotty environment.
The Amazing Mr Blunden – Christmas Eve, Sky Showcase, 7pm
Written and directed by Mark Gatiss, this adaptation of Antonia Barber’s supernatural time-travel yarn for children is, without any shadow of a doubt, the best solo venture the League of Gentleman alumnus has undertaken since his first self-penned episode of Doctor Who. He’s in his absolute element here.
The protagonists are a pair of contemporary teenage kids who find themselves whisked back to a Victorian manor house. The mysterious Mr Blunden (Simon Callow), who arrives on their doorstep just before Christmas, is the catalyst.
Gatiss, who co-stars alongside Tamsin Greig, pitches the mood perfectly: a strange, cobwebbed dream that won’t frighten children unduly, but it might unsettle them in the best possible sense.
A Ghost Story for Christmas: The Mezzotint – Christmas Eve, BBC Two, 10:30pm
And if Blunden doesn’t deliver enough Gatiss for your Christmas buck, he’s back again with yet another M.R. James adaptation. Weirdly, he’s never managed to pull these off.
His child-friendly Blunden adaptation is more atmospheric than any of his ghost stories for adults. They always comes across as functional, churned-out Tales of the Unexpected episodes. This one stars Rory Kinnear as a man who becomes obsessed with a painting of a hooded figure. You can predict the ending from the premise alone.
It’s not bad as such, but it lacks the genuine eeriness and lingering impact of those classic 1970s adaptations of James’ work. It doesn’t jolt, it merely unfolds. You’ll probably retire to bed with a shrug.
LAST WEEK’S TV
Sting: Reel Stories – Saturday 11th December, BBC Two
When viewed from a certain angle, Sting is the perfect pop star. He’s handsome, talented, ridiculous and pretentious. A borderline brilliant construct. Squint in another direction, however, and he’s just an utter buffoon.
His enduring appeal lies somewhere in the middle, as this interview with the affably sycophantic Dermot O’Leary confirmed. The Reel Stories format is simple yet effective: musicians are forced to watch old clips of themselves. O’Leary prompts them for a response. That's it, but it's enough.
Sting looked genuinely sad and occasionally amused while watching footage of The Police in their imperial phase, but he couldn’t quite manage to poke fun at himself. His underlying pomposity was palpable. If only he could loosen up a bit, we might all like him more. Some advice for Sting, there.
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