This article was originally published in The Courier on 30th July 2022.
NEXT WEEK’S TV
Vicky Pattison: Alcohol, Dad and Me – Tuesday, Channel 4, 10pm
Vicky Pattison first rose to fame via Geordie Shore, where she gained a reputation as someone who likes a drink, sometimes to excess.
Pattison doesn’t think she’s an alcoholic, but she concedes that her relationship with alcohol is problematic. “I have abused it in the past, and there’s the potential that I could end up being like my dad.”
Pattison’s father, John, is a full blown alcoholic. He appears alongside his daughter in this frank documentary. Vicky’s goal: find ways of helping John to stop drinking for good.
There are no easy solutions, alcoholism is a complex illness, but the programme still succeeds as a sensitive study of anxiety, shame and addiction. Vicky and John’s candour is commendable.
Inside the Factory: XL – Monday, BBC Two, 9pm
The perpetually astounded Gregg Wallace launches this supersized ITF spin-off with a visit to a vast factory where engineers build five-carriage electric trains which weigh in at 187 tonnes. Each train takes up to 1,000 hours to complete.
As usual, Wallace is in hard-hatted, hi-vis heaven, like a beatific child given access to the world’s biggest trainset.
Meanwhile, Cherry Healey travels to the foothills of Ben Nevis, where the hydro-powered Lochaber Smelter – the UK’s last remaining factory of its kind - produces molten tonnes of aluminium on an epic scale.
Finally, historian Ruth Goodman pays an illuminating visit to the world’s oldest surviving electric railway line, which operates along the Brighton seafront.
Two Doors Down – Monday, BBC Two, 10pm
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Cathy and Colin have just got back from a luxurious holiday in Italy. Naturally, they can’t wait to boast about it all to their neighbours. Enter a classy couple they befriended by the pool (the wife is played by special guest star Julie Graham).
Snooty Cathy regards them as the sort of high status people they should by rights be fraternising with, but she’s absolutely mortified when they get on famously with Christine and co. That wasn’t part of the plan.
The joy of Two Doors Down is the way in which it combines excruciatingly well-observed social satire with obvious affection for (most of) its characters and a high turnover of actual jokes. An exceptional sitcom.
Worst House on the Street – Tuesday, Channel 4, 8pm
Always buy the worst house on the best street. That, according to this new lifestyle series, “is an adage known to savvy buyers everywhere.” Watch your profits soar!
Our hosts are property development siblings Scarlette and Stuart Douglas, who’ve been in the business for almost fifteen years. Each week they help families to transform run-down houses into dream homes on an affordable budget. You know, the usual standard-issue format.
First up are a newly married couple who have never owned a property before, let alone managed a renovation. Scarlette and Stuart are a likeable duo. They’re easy-going pros with expertise to spare. Imagine Location, Location, Location fronted by people who aren’t utterly objectionable.
Night Coppers – Tuesday, Channel 4, 9pm
The stars of our latest bleak encounter with Brighton’s busy night patrol include tattooed PC Robbie, an aspiring cage fighter. We follow Robbie throughout his shift, the ‘highlight’ of which is his remonstration with an aggressive bloke outside a pub. All in a night’s work.
In another part of town we touch base with PC Emily, a rookie cop who once worked as a British Airways flight attendant. Emily has to carry out a strip-search on a less than helpful suspect. As the night wears on, PCs Zoe and Vic launch an urgent search for a vulnerable woman.
As with all shows of its ilk, Night Coppers makes for an uncomfortable voyeuristic experience. What purpose do they ultimately serve?
The Supervet: Noel Fitzpatrick – Thursday, Channel 4, 8pm
This week, Professor Noel and his specialist veterinary team come to the rescue of Milo, a Dalmatian who has been diagnosed with a developmental condition affecting his spinal cord.
Poor Milo is in constant pain. Noel, with his usual comforting bedside manner, presents to Milo’s owners the option of a delicate surgical procedure that should relieve the pressure on his spine.
Noel also operates on Moon, a puppy suffering from a severe elbow ailment, and Ollie, a Shih Tzu in dire physical straits. If you’ve never seen this show before, I appreciate that my synopses must make it sound harrowing. Rest assured, it’s not in the business of bringing us down. There are almost always happy endings.
First Dates – Thursday, Channel 4, 10pm
Essex lad Luca is tired of being regarded as an unreliable ‘player’. All he wants to do is meet a nice girl, someone his dad might approve of. Luca’s date is TV presenter Hayley, whose professional onscreen confidence belies the anxiety most of us feel when meeting potential romantic partners for the first time.
We’re also introduced to Sandie, a retired prison officer who’s lived a very full life indeed. Her many achievements include modelling the first police-issue trousers for women. Sandie’s date is veteran tennis coach Chris.
And then there’s nonconformist boarding school matron Sarah, who’s quite taken with Charlie: a maths teacher who describes himself as a cross between Richard Ayoade and Bill Nighy.
LAST WEEK’S TV
Joe Lycett: Summer Exhibitionist – Saturday 23rd July, BBC Two
The world’s largest open submission art contest, the Royal Academy Summer Exhibition celebrates its 253rd anniversary this year. An egalitarian endeavour, it’s a vibrant celebration of diverse creativity at which all are welcome. But that doesn’t mean your submitted artworks will be automatically accepted by the judging panel, as comedian Joe Lycett explained during this breezy documentary.
He encountered various shortlisted artists from all walks of life, my favourite being the funny, self-aware woman whose latest entry was based on 20 years of rejection by the Royal Academy. That’s the spirit.
Lycett is very good at this sort of thing, he’s totally at ease with members of the public. A generous host, he never mocks or sneers.
The Newsreader – Sunday 24th July, BBC Two
This promising Australian series was ABC’s most watched drama of 2021. Its appeal is obvious.
The year: 1986. The setting: behind the scenes of a flagship daily TV news programme. The protagonist is an idealistic and highly capable anchor who’s tired of living in the shadow of her egotistical male co-host (a stentorian national institution). She finally gets a chance to shine after forming a bond with an ambitious young producer. Backstage skulduggery ensues.
Witty and engaging, The Newsreader is the likeable antithesis of Aaron Sorkin’s similarly themed yet typically
pompous The Newsroom. It doesn’t
pretend to be anything other than a fairly sophisticated soap with a wry sense
of humour and a sincere moral compass.
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