THEN BARBARA MET ALAN + JOANNA LUMLEY'S GREAT CITIES OF THE WORLD + BRIDGE OF LIES

This article was originally published in The Courier on 19th March 2022. 

NEXT WEEK’S TV

Then Barbara Met Alan – Monday, BBC Two, 9pm

This excellent standalone drama tells the true story of two alternative cabaret performers who became the driving force behind a direct‐action campaign that led to the passing of the 1995 Disability Discrimination Act. 

It’s a love story. But above all else it’s an angry, humane and irreverent assault on terribly patronising attitudes towards people with disabilities. We’ve moved on since then, but it’s worth bearing in mind that this all took place just 30 years ago. In the supposedly groovy and enlightened 1990s. 

Society changes for the better incrementally, in large part thanks to bold, eloquent civil rights activists such as Barbara and Alan. Writers Genevieve Barr and Jack Thorne make their point with commendable wit and sensitivity.

The Great Celebrity Bake Off for Stand Up to Cancer – Tuesday, Channel 4, 8pm

Noel Fielding and Matt Lucas begin their annual charity diversion alongside TV presenter Emma Willis, Radio One DJ Clara Amfo, Blake ‘Inbetweeners’ Harrison and comedian Alex Horne. As always, judges Paul Hollywood and Prue Leith snoop about in the background while awareness of a good cause is raised. 

In episode one, the contestants are tasked with making intricately decorated biscuits, some madeleines (that’s apparently a sort of cross between a cookie and a cupcake), and a decorative pastry sculpture that somehow reflects their character. 

I will never understand the appeal of cakes or programmes about cakes, but to each our own. I’m only recommending this because I know some of you will want to watch it. Enjoy! 

Rock Till We Drop – Tuesday, BBC Two, 9pm

In the final episode of this uplifting series, our seasoned rock bands perform at the Isle of Wight Festival. I defy anyone to resist the cockle‐warming joy of their moment in the sun. 

As guitarist Leburn says with a knowing smile: “I was born to do this. I have lived my life to do this. I could die after this show and that would be perfectly fine with me.” 

What a lovely endeavour this has been, a modest tribute to creative people who never wanted to work Nine to Five. Not that there’s anything wrong with a workaday existence, we’re all slaves to fortune, but some folk belong on a stage. Even if it is just for one day.

British Grandma on Death Row with Susanna Reid – Tuesday, STV, 9pm

We’re all sophisticated adults here, so let’s gloss over the fact that the clumsily worded title of this programme implies that Susanna Reid is doing some serious stir with an elderly lady. 

Linda Carty is the only British woman on death row anywhere in the western world. She’s been awaiting her fatal sentence for almost 20 years. Carty has always maintained that she’s not guilty of her alleged crime, the details of which are so horrific I daren’t share them with you here. Far too upsetting. 

Needless to say, this is a sobering programme, but Reid handles the central issue in a fairly nuanced way. It’s a halfway acceptable article of gloomy tabloid television. You have been warned.

The Simpler Life – Tuesday and Wednesday, Channel 4, 9:15pm and 9pm

Modern life is rubbish. We all know that. But would we be any better off by returning to the olden days? When life was simpler and more rural? Well, no. 

You’ve seen versions of this programme a thousand times before, ‘a ground‐breaking experiment’ in which a bunch of volunteers reject the trappings of contemporary society to see what we can learn from living off the land. 

This lot ‐ 24 total strangers ‐ are pretending to be Amish in the vicinity of actual Amish people. The whole thing is remotely overseen by psychologists, who chip in now and again to provide some analysis of how they’re getting on. Its heart, I suppose, is located in the right place.

The Witchfinder – Tuesday, BBC Two, 10pm

This sitcom from the Gibbons brothers of Alan Partridge renown got off to a slightly shaky start, but it really is worth sticking with. 

At heart it’s a traditional odd couple screwball comedy road trip in which a foolish man (Tim Key) is repeatedly rescued and undermined by a sharp‐witted woman (Daisy May Cooper). Their chemistry is rather delightful. 

This week the witchfinder tries to steal some bees while proving his worth as a woodland hunter. His ‘prisoner’ isn’t impressed. The Witchfinder is funny. Most of the jokes land. The characters and narrative are engaging. My only complaint is that the brilliant Jessica Hynes is underused. She deserves a more substantial role. Otherwise, two withered thumbs up.

Joanna Lumley’s Great Cities of the World – Thursday, STV, 9pm

This week’s stunningly beautiful destination is Rome. The ever‐ready Lumley arrives in town on the back of a Vespa. Moments later she’s throwing coins into a fountain for luck while delivering various pocket history lessons. 

She also meets a delightful old photographer who chronicled all the great stars during their visits to Rome. Jagger, Ali, Audrey Hepburn, you name ‘em, this chap snapped ‘em. Other highlights include a private tour of the Sistine Chapel and an interview with 94‐year‐old Italian film sensation Gina Lollobrigida, who offers a few glimpses into her fascinating life. 

Nessuna sorpresa (yes, I did just Google Translate that), Lumley can speak Italian. She is, after all, a cultured citizen of the world.

LAST WEEK’S TV

Top of the Pops: The Story of 1991 – Saturday 12th March, BBC Two

This documentary was supposed to go out last year when BBC Four launched its run of TOTP repeats from 1991, but better late than never. 

It was a typically smart, warm and witty compendium of that year’s pop‐crazed highlights, chief among them being the overground emergence of rave culture, hip ‘indie’ bands such as Blur crossing over into the mainstream, and the magnificent pop‐art subversion of The KLF. 

It also challenged the widely held belief that Kurt Cobain deliberately sabotaged Nirvana’s infamous performance of Smells Like Teen Spirit. Well maybe he did, but according to those who were there that day, his ludicrous baritone was caused by a heavy cold. Rock and roll.

Bridge of Lies – Monday 14th March to Friday 18th March, BBC One

A daytime quiz hosted by TV Hardman ™ Ross Kemp? There was just no way I could resist watching that. It’s such an inherently odd and intriguing concept. But I regret to report that Kemp is a blandly competent host. 

His fellow EastEnders alumnus Danny Dyer scored big with The Wall because his blatant unsuitability for the role is an amusing gift that keeps on giving. And Dyer, even in his confused and bleary state, is capable of ramping up some drama. Kemp just politely goes through the motions like the pro he is. And where’s the fun in that? 

The game itself involves contestants answering questions while crossing a virtual bridge. It’s enjoyable enough. Final answer: meh.

 

THE WITCHFINDER + KATIE PRICE: WHAT HARVEY DID NEXT + OUR HOUSE

This article was originally published in The Courier on 5th March 2022.

NEXT WEEK’S TV

The Witchfinder – Tuesday, BBC Two, 10pm

This promising new sitcom is written and directed by Neil and Rob Gibbons, a sibling duo who, since 2010, have been responsible for some of the greatest ever Alan Partridge material. 

Set in mid-17^th century England against a tumultuous backdrop of civil war, plague and deranged religious zealotry, it stars Tim Key (aka Sidekick Simon) as a hapless witchfinder, Jessica Hynes as his long-suffering assistant, and Daisy May Cooper from This Country as a sardonic woman accused of witchery. 

Python and Blackadder are the obvious touchstones, and there’s no denying that Key’s character – a pompous fool who desperately craves recognition – is in the Partridge mould. But The Witchfinder is still funny on its own farcical terms.

Katie Price: What Harvey Did Next – Monday, BBC One, 9pm

Last year, as you may recall, Katie Price and her teenage son Harvey participated in a tender documentary about their personal circumstances. This is the follow-up. 

Harvey has a complex variety of rare medical and behavioural conditions, which can make life difficult for him. The programme follows Harvey as he embarks upon a major rite of passage: leaving home for college, where he’ll stay for the next three years. Katie and Harvey are understandably anxious, but the brilliant support staff – a credit to their profession – ensure that this transition runs as smoothly as possible. 

It’s a touching portrait of a young man with learning difficulties gradually gaining independence, while a doting mother deals with her own mental health.

Our House – Monday to Thursday, STV, 9pm

Martin Compston and Tuppence Middleton star in this psychological thriller about a divorced couple who make a fragile living arrangement for the sake of their children. And then, of course, it all goes horribly wrong. 

Based on a critically acclaimed bestseller by Louise Candlish, Our House is blighted by stilted dialogue and a faulty narrative structure. The flashbacks are supposed to invite intrigue, but the overall effect is enervating. I only had access to episode one, so for all I know it might reveal tremendous hidden depths by the end. But I doubt it. 

It’s just another instalment in ITV’s never-ending cavalcade of generic kitchen island thrillers. Compston and Middleton do their best, but the material is beyond salvation

Stacey Dooley: Inside the Convent – Monday, BBC One, 10:35pm

Dooley isn’t religious, but for the purposes of her latest investigative report she’s decided to reconsider her belief system while spending ten days in a small convent with some delightful Anglican nuns. 

They observe three key vows: poverty, obedience and celibacy. It’s a strictly-scheduled and repetitive existence, but they all seem happy enough. And it’s not as if they aren’t aware of the sacrifice they’ve made. Some of them admit to having wavered at times, but their faith in God is unstinting. 

Dooley, as always, strikes up a natural rapport with her interviewees. She returns, gently and without judgement, to a central question: how can you have devout faith in a world so beleaguered with cruelty and injustice?

Interior Design Masters with Alan Carr – Wednesday, BBC One, 9pm

A textbook piece of competitive lifestyle television, this returning series pits ten aspiring interior designers against each other. Each week they have to magically transform various commercial spaces while impressing a formidable panel of design gurus including Michelle Ogundehin and Lawrence Llewelyn Bowen. 

The grand prize is a locked-contract with a luxury Cornwall hotel. Meanwhile, host Alan Carr picks up an easy paycheque. 

“I would class myself as a creative genius” boasts a designer who looks like Alan Rickman auditioning for a spaniel-only remake of Easy Rider. The contestants all say things like that, but we know how TV works in this post-Big Brother/Apprentice age. The producers cajole them into sounding as silly as possible.

Michael Mosley: Who Made Britain Fat? – Wednesday, Channel 4, 9pm

As you’ve no doubt surmised from the baldly descriptive title, Britain’s obesity problem is the subject of this new two-part series hosted by genial medical expert Michael Mosley. 

I haven’t seen the programme, previews weren’t available, but it sounds like a rather searching critique of successive governmental failures to effectively tackle the issue, no matter how many supposedly helpful policies they launch. 

Mosley, an unassuming man with a quietly authoritative grasp of well-researched facts, puts forward his own theories with regards to how the crisis can be solved without adding further harm to an already sorely tested NHS. He’s always worth listening to.  In episode one, Mosley’s interviewees include celebrity chef and patently sincere child health campaigner Jamie Oliver.

Grantchester – Friday, STV, 9pm

This ecclesiastical detective drama obviously hasn’t been the same since original star James Norton (TV critic cliché alert) hung up his dog collar, but it’s still a fairly enjoyable clue-sniffing distraction. It whiles away an hour in an entirely inoffensive way. Last of the Summer Crime, if you will. All Murders Great and Small. 

The latest series begins with the discovery of a corpse in the grounds of a struggling ancestral estate. But never mind that, it looks like our intrepid vicar hero could be smitten with a mysterious woman he meets in one of those new-fangled late 1950s jazz clubs. Meanwhile, Geordie (the ever-reliable Robson Green) tries to get back together with his estranged wife.

LAST WEEK’S TV

Peaky Blinders – Sunday 27th February, BBC One

And so, the end is near. As the final series of this stylised Shakespearean gangster tragedy got underway, the untimely passing of the great Helen McCrory was tastefully handled within the first ten minutes. Writer Stephen Knight killed her character off, the dreadful deed unseen for obvious reasons, but she’s not forgotten. Her vital role in this saga endures. 

The huge mainstream success of Peaky Blinders has been rather heartening. It is, after all, a fairly offbeat piece of work. But its unique qualities – that combination of hallucinatory psychodrama, vivid characters, a compelling storyline and a thickly clotted bloodstream of mordant wit – struck a clanging chord with viewers. It will be missed. But for now let’s enjoy its last hurrah.

Stanley Tucci: Searching for Italy – Sunday February 27, BBC Two

The actor Stanely Tucci is elegant charm personified. A dry-witted fellow with a passion for life. So no wonder this new series is an enjoyable confection. What’s not to like about a culinary travelogue in which a charismatic guide celebrates the sights, sounds, tastes and smells of various Italian cities? Superior comfort viewing. 

In episode one, Tucci visited Naples and the Amalfi Coast. It wasn’t an entirely cosy endeavour – Tucci explored the often troubled history of these regions – but his M.O. is basically this: Italy is a wonderful country, it has contributed so much to our cultural palette, and wouldn’t you just love to eat a slice of pizza while admiring some art? Well yes, Stanley, I would.