This article was originally published in The Courier on 15th January 2022.
NEXT WEEK’S TV
Martin Clunes: Islands of the Pacific – Thursday, STV, 9pm
TV’s Martin Clunes is one of the reigning travelogue supremos. And for good reason: he’s very good at his job. Naturally witty, charming, respectful and empathetic, he’s like a sort of idealised foreign ambassador. I’d vote for him.
This week he natters with some tribesmen who live in the shadow of an active volcano and breaks bread with a tribe who believe that Prince Philip is their God. Some of the elders briefly met him once and they exchanged banal pleasantries. So that’s a relief.
Clunes also travels to Tonga, an ostensibly conservative Christian nation with a surprisingly tolerant and admirable attitude towards gender fluidity. It’s not an entirely progressive utopia of course, but hats off to Tonga anyway.
Geordie Hospital – Monday, Channel 4, 8pm
Newcastle is home to one of the UK’s biggest NHS hospital trusts. Its personable and dedicated staff are the stars of this new series, which rarely dwells upon the pressures and frustrations of their job. The mood is upbeat, it’s a big ol’ cuddle of a programme.
Any celebration of Britain’s most essential institution is tacitly political, of course it is, but Geordie Hospital elects to focus exclusively on positive stories. That’s a statement in itself.
Tears and anxieties rear up at times, but even a
potentially upsetting segment involving a little boy with a heart defect turns
out fine. I for one welcome this warm gust of positivity.
Kelvin’s Big Farming Adventure – Monday, BBC One, 8:30pm
The former Emmerdale actor and Strictly Come Dancing winner Kelvin Fletcher recently bought a farm in the Peak District. A lifelong urbanite, he has no farming experience whatsoever. But if we know one thing about Fletcher, it’s that he enjoys a challenge.
His agent must’ve been delighted when they heard the news, as a television series following this life-changing development was absolutely guaranteed. And if that sounds cynical, well that’s showbiz.
We’re all familiar with this formula by now: a celebrity and their family get to grips with renovating barns and stockpiling eggs. Mild setbacks ensue. There is nothing remotely objectionable about this series. It merely exists. I recommend it to fans of tractors, fencing and sheep.
The Secret Life of Our Pets – Tuesday, STV, 8pm
This diverting litle series spotlights the cute side of cognitive animal behaviour research. This week’s theme is emotional intelligence and the powerful bond of trust that exists between domesticated animals and their humans.
The slightly alarming highlight involves a visit to Switzerland, where we encounter a BASE jumper who enjoys nothing more than parachuting from the edge of massive cliffs with his border collie harnessed to him.
And while you could question the ethics of placing an animal in that position, the dog doesn’t appear to be remotely distressed. He trusts his thrill-seeking comrade.
We also learn that goldfish can ‘recognise’ human faces, rats really enjoy playing Hide and Seek, and parrots have an innate sense of rhythm.
Ghislaine, Prince Andrew and the Paedophile – Tuesday, STV, 9pm
The convicted sex trafficker Ghislaine Maxwell is currently facing a custodial sentence of up to 65 years. A key confidante and enabler of the paedophile sex offender Jeffrey Epstein, who died in prison under mysterious circumstances in 2019, Maxwell’s entitled circle of friends included the thoroughly disgraced Prince Andrew.
This report, which for obvious reasons was still being edited as I write these words, features contributions from some of Epstein and Maxwell’s victims. It also promises to examine damning evidence from Maxwell’s trial, as well as Prince Andrew’s alleged involvement in this hideous scandal. It seems increasingly likely that he will face a civil court case.
Your host is Good Morning Britain’s Political Editor Ranvir Singh.
Toast of Tinseltown – Tuesday, BBC Two, 10pm
Are things looking up for the belligerent, oafish and perpetually thwarted ham actor Steven Toast? During the latest stage of his Hollywood odyssey he’s invited to audition for the role of a butler in an unnecessarily ambitious and expensive movie. He only has one line, but if he impresses the tyrannical director then he could secure a first-class ticket on the gravy train.
Meanwhile, he hurls himself into a strange relationship with a clinical sexologist, and records a voiceover on the hottest day there has ever been in L.A.
It’s not the funniest Toast episode, but spending time in the deeply silly world of series creators Matt Berry and Arthur Mathews is always a peculiar source of comfort.
Andy Warhol’s America – Thursday, BBC Two, 9pm
The final chapter of this absorbing gaze into Warhol’s reflection of American culture begins in the 1970s and ends with his death in 1987. His preoccupation with death and disaster is a recurring theme throughout.
After surviving an assassination attempt in 1968, he essentially had a second chance at life; a fact that haunted him thereafter. He became even more avaricious, while simultaneously providing support for marginalised groups such as African Americans, Native Americans, homeless people and the LGBTQ community.
But, the programme asks, was that support tainted by self-interest and exploitation? He was, to say the least, a complicated cat.
As with previous instalments of this
excellent series, Warhol’s Zelig-like
story encompasses several fascinating historical detours.
NEXT WEEK’S TV
The Green Planet – Sunday 9th January, BBC One
In the latest series from David Attenborough, his estimable team use an advanced time lapse camera system to unearth the secret life of plants. It observes the world from their perspective while examining their relationship with animals and humans, and the vital role they play in our ecosystem. Naturally, it’s fascinating.
That remarkable footage of plants in action occasionally resembled lost outtakes from Frank Oz’s Little Shop of Horrors; an alien landscape thriving on Earth.
It’s a stellar example of Attenborough’s unerring ability to sculpt absorbing narratives from unlikely sources. Who knew there was so much drama in the global plant community?
And it was lovely seeing the great man delivering some unflaggingly enthused pieces to camera.
Life on the Bay – Sunday 9th January, BBC Scotland
Pettycur Bay Holiday Park on Fife’s coast is one of Scotland’s biggest caravan enclaves. This breezy new series – a summery balm for these dark winter days - observes the daily demands of running what is effectively an idyllic miniature town built and run by three generations of a hands-on local family.
In episode one we met a genial maintenance man who’s worked there for so long, he remembers when his boss was a little boy: “He was just a wee bloody pest! But a good pest…”
Guests included a new arrival who joked about the possibility of getting cabin fever and going berserk like Jack Nicholson in The Shining. As far as I’m aware, that hasn’t happened.
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