STORYVILLE: ON THE MORNING YOU WAKE (TO THE END OF THE WORLD) + THE EXTRAORDINARY LIFE OF APRIL ASHLEY + PICTURES FROM IRAQ

This article was originally published in The Courier on 2nd July 2022.

NEXT WEEK’S TV

Storyville: On the Morning You Wake (to the End of the World) – Tuesday, BBC Four, 10pm

On 13th January 2018, the people of Hawaii awoke to a terrifying emergency alert: “Ballistic missile threat inbound to Hawaii. Seek immediate shelter. This is not a drill.” 

It turned out to be a false alarm, but for 38 minutes those poor people endured a waking nightmare. They were about to be annihilated in a nuclear attack. 

This haunting documentary, which is adapted from a Virtual Reality experience, unfolds in more or less real time. It captures a sense of mounting panic, as parents send tearful messages to loved ones while hiding their children in storm drains. 

Sensitively entwined with memories of Hiroshima, it’s an impassioned, clear-eyed plea for nuclear disarmament.

Queen of Trucks – Monday, BBC Three, 8pm

Shannan runs an HGV driver training firm in the West Midlands. “Our ambition is to shake up the trucking scene,” she declares during this upbeat documentary. 

Shannon is trying to gain her own HGV licence, which she feels will make her look more credible to the young learners who flock to her business. Dad Trevor, a veteran instructor, is showing her the ropes. 

A few years ago, Shannon’s mum passed away. Trevor had to step down as boss in order to become a full-time dad to his daughters. He’s immensely proud of what Shannon has achieved. 

The programme doesn’t add up to anything particularly special, but that’s fine. It’s a nice little glimpse into the lives of others.

24 Hours in Police Custody: The Murder of Rikki Neave – Monday and Tuesday, Channel 4, 9pm

In 1994, six-year-old Rikki Neave from Peterborough went to school one foggy November morning and never came back. His murder remained unsolved for 28 years. This special two-part edition of Channel 4’s venerable true crime series foregrounds the police unit who reopened the case. 

Rikki lived on a disadvantaged council estate. His aggressive mother wasn’t popular with the neighbours. The finger of blame instantly pointed towards her. 

I’m loath to go into any more detail, not least because it’s all too bleak for a column such as this. However, in typical 24 Hours in Police Custody style, this isn’t a prurient or exploitative endeavour. It reports the terribly sad facts without recourse to sensationalism.

The Extraordinary Life of April Ashley – Monday, Channel 4, 10pm

April Ashley, who died last year at the age of 86, was one of Britain’s most prominent transgender women. This documentary celebrates her trailblazing achievements. Preview copies weren't available at the time of writing, but it sounds absolutely fascinating. 

Ashley’s highly eventful life took her from the slums of wartime Liverpool to the star-studded heights of Knightsbridge society. She was a globetrotting model, dancer and restaurateur who was one of the first people in Britain to have gender reassignment surgery. She was eventually awarded an MBE for her services to transgender equality. A remarkable woman.

The programme is showing as part of Channel 4’s current season marking 50 years of Pride in the UK.

Pictures from Iraq – Tuesday, BBC Scotland, 10pm

Esteemed Scottish author, journalist and war photographer David Pratt has been covering the conflicts in Iraq for over three decades. In this illuminating documentary, he returns to Iraq – a country he loves – to give his personal perspective on the ongoing situation. 

He examines the violent tribal divisions which have caused so much suffering over the years, while interviewing people such as a benign Iraqi general who describes the brutal ways in which ISIS continues to operate. Pratt also visits a training camp for female members of The Kurdish Freedom Party. 

Iraq is still politically unstable, but Pratt succeeds in making the point that it’s a beautiful country full of generous, resilient people. There is some hope amidst the darkness.

Ghislaine Maxwell: The Making of a Monster – Tuesday to Thursday, Channel 4, 10pm

This three-part series follows hot on the heels of BBC Two’s horribly riveting House of Maxwell (which is still available on iPlayer). It inevitably goes over some of the same ground, but it provides a more acute character study of Ghislaine Maxwell. 

Filtered through the memories of some of those who knew her well, a portrait emerges of a spoiled, entitled heiress with a total lack of empathy: a power-hungry, insecure narcissist who revelled in cruel power plays. But even those associates who didn’t particularly like her were shocked when she was exposed as a serial sex offender who trafficked underage girls. 

Ultimately, the series is a stark indictment of wealthy elites who believe themselves to be above the law.

George Clarke’s Remarkable Renovations – Wednesday, Channel 4, 9pm

Britain is full of abandoned buildings, which is a shameful state of affairs for reasons I needn’t elaborate upon. A recent relaxation in planning laws has apparently made it easier to convert these derelict spaces into private homes for wealthy people. So that’s nice. 

As this standard-issue lifestyle series returns, Channel 4’s softly-spoken Renovator in Chief and top Bernie Winters lookalike George Clarke visits a Sussex market town, where he meets a couple attempting to restore some ancient conjoined buildings which were once comprised of a slaughterhouse, a butchers, a pub and a blacksmiths. 

They want to build a spacious new home for themselves and their three teenaged daughters while respecting the integrity of the buildings.

LAST WEEK’S TV

The Outlaws – Sunday 26th June, BBC One

Series two of Stephen Merchant’s endearing comedy thriller has become cheerfully indebted to Breaking Bad. The overarching storyline now involves our mismatched gang of community service workers attempting to build a drug-dealing empire. 

Rani (the excellent Rhianne Barreto) is ostensibly the show’s own Walter White, albeit one who hopefully won’t follow his catastrophic trajectory. Meanwhile, Greg (Merchant) is its unlikely equivalent of Saul Goodman – a lawyer who can always be relied upon to swoop in and save his clients (and their collective criminal enterprise). 

Which isn’t to suggest that it’s derivative, just that it’s having fun with established tropes in a knowing way. Also, it’s a humane and rather nuanced show which never punches down at its dysfunctional characters.

Hungry for It – Tuesday 28th June, BBC Three

Hosted by the ubiquitous Stacey Dooley, this shamelessly formulaic cookery contest contains all the usual – yes – ingredients. The contestants are rookie cooks all looking to establish themselves within the food industry. 

When they’re not competing in the kitchen, they’re living together in a house for no other reason than to potentially cause some friction between them. The last one standing will be given the opportunity to work in some of the world’s finest restaurants. Meanwhile, they’re overseen by a pair of soundbite-spouting mentors. 

Whenever I watch programmes like this, I’m always reminded of Alan Partridge desperately trying to pitch a hackneyed project to the BBC: “People like them, let’s make some more of them.”

MANDY + ONCE UPON A TIME IN IRAQ + THE YORKSHIRE JOBCENTRE

This article was originally published in The Courier on 8th August 2020.

NEXT WEEK’S TV

MANDY

Thursday, BBC Two, 9:30pm

Now this, at last, is a proper Diane Morgan vehicle. Hitherto best known as Philomena Cunk from those Charlie Brooker shows and their lacklustre spin-offs, Mandy is written and directed by Morgan. She plays a permanent jobseeker, an insecure working-class oddball with a fishhook grimace, but Mandy is such an exaggerated cartoon of an unemployable person (at one point she attempts to deny her prominent involvement in a series of online gambling adverts), it’s clearly not intended as reactionary social satire. Mandy idly flattening tarantulas on a banana conveyer belt. Mandy getting her skew-whiff bouffant caught in an extractor fan. Mandy and Maxine Peake as estranged Touch the Truck contestants. I laughed. Mandy plays to Morgan’s strengths. She’s a very funny person with an innate gift for silly, deadpan farce.

ONCE UPON A TIME IN IRAQ

Monday, BBC Two, 9pm

And so, this starkly illuminating series reaches its end. But the story remains open-ended. In 2011, the coalition forces finally left Iraq. Victory Day. Within a few months, sectarian tensions resurfaced, tensions stoked by Iraq’s new President. America shook his hand and turned a blind eye. Problem solved, nothing to see here. Enter ISIS. The catastrophic legacy of the Iraq war has, as far as I’m aware, never been essayed on British television in such acutely human detail. It revolves around a diverse array of talking heads, most of them exhausted, traumatised, by the sheer horror of it all. If you haven’t done so already, I urge you to watch the whole thing on iPlayer.

THE YORKSHIRE JOBCENTRE

Monday, Channel 4, 9pm

I have mixed feelings about this series. Filmed in a busy Leeds jobcentre just prior to the Covid crisis, it confronts Britain’s dire unemployment situation (there are 29,000 unemployed in Leeds alone). It follows claimants from various walks of life to illustrate the point that anyone can find themselves in need of benefits, a fact which shouldn’t need restating, but one which blinkered people find difficult to comprehend. It features sympathetic insight from jobcentre employees and vulnerable people living on a pittance. It highlights the chaotic injustice of Universal Credit. But… it also strikes a patronising tone: “Aww, these likeable claimants all get short-term happy endings!” I, Daniel Blake it ain’t. Well-meaning yet uneasily compromised.

GREAT CONTINENTAL RAILWAY JOURNEYS

Wednesday, BBC Two, 8pm

Michael Portillo is living proof that Tory politicians can always reinvent themselves, especially if they affect a sort of ersatz chumminess. If you didn’t know any better, you would assume – if you could even be bothered - that this primary coloured slab of uncooked giblets was a harmless train enthusiast; at worst, a tediously sensible village green Lib-Dem. Nah. He’s a voracious Thatcherite, a nasty piece of work. Do not trust him, don’t ever forget. And here he is again, for his umpteenth series of travelogues funded by the notoriously socialist BBC. This week he’s in Germany, where he waxes solemnly about the rise of fascism. It’s like being lectured on the dangers of smoking by Keith Richards.

LAST WEEK’S TV

PHIL SPENCER’S STATELY HOMES

Wednesday 5 August, Channel 4

Well this was just appalling. Phil Spencer, a blandly humanoid C-3P0 who makes his genuinely unpleasant Location, Location, Location (so bad, they named it thrice) co-star Kirstie Allsopp look like a fluorescent Mrs Claus riding a rocket full of sweets to the moon, presides over an offensive celebration of stupid old toffs and their ridiculous houses. Haven’t we suffered enough of late? Phil Spencer cooing over a gold-upholstered bath which was once soiled by King Ralph of Freedonia is volcanically insulting. I’m all for mindless escapism, I crave silliness and whimsy. Hell’s clanging bells, we don’t have to be angry all the time. Imagine how exhausting that would be. But programmes such as this are indicative of the rot at the heart of British society. Tug your forelock, know your place. We. Are. Doomed.     

RODNEY P'S JAZZ FUNK + ONCE UPON A TIME IN IRAQ

This article was originally published in the Courier on 18th July 2020.

NEXT WEEK’S TV

RODNEY P’S JAZZ FUNK

Friday, BBC Two, 9pm

This lovingly-curated documentary captures the energy and excitement of Britain’s first home-grown black music culture. Hip hop legend Rodney P reveals how jazz funk began as a thriving underground club scene, before going on to shape the sound of early ‘80s British pop. It was created by the first generation of suburban and inner city black kids born in Britain, and although it was influenced by the heavy fusion innovations of American musicians such as Herbie Hancock, it allowed them to create their own distinct identity. That pioneering scene was also an early example of multiculturalism and gender equality, during an era when overt racism, sexism and homophobia were rife. A valuable, funky social document.

THE REAL EASTENDERS

Tuesday, Channel 4, 10pm

The Isle of Dogs was once the healthy heartland of London’s docklands community. A place where you’d find ‘proper’ working-class cockneys. Today it stands in the oppressive glistening shadow of Canary Wharf. The only boats you’ll find nearby are on the other, more affluent side of the river. Hak Baker, a local resident and musician, presents this insightful, tender ode to his neighbours. It’s not a sentimentalised account, razor-edged shards of sadness often poke through, but it never wrings its hands in a patronising way. The stars of the show are the kids Baker meets. They’re funny, smart, innocent, brilliant. Boris Johnson will never watch or understand this beautiful programme.

EASTENDERS: SECRETS FROM THE SQUARE

Available now on BBC iPlayer

While EastEnders prepares to resume production, super-fan Stacey Dooley visits the set to meet some of Albert Square’s more notable residents. The banter flows thick and fast when she sits down for a socially distanced chinwag with Danny Dyer and Kellie Bright, who play Mick and Linda Carter. Dyer and Bright come across well, they have natural chemistry. Dyer claims that he occasionally adds authentic cockney slang to his dialogue, while admitting that his career was in the doldrums when he got the part. Carter first appeared on the show in 1986, as an extra at Michelle and Lofty’s wedding, and reveals that she channels elements of Carmella Soprano into her performance. A harmless piece of cheap emergency filler.

MIRIAM MARGOLYES: ALMOST AUSTRALIAN

Friday, BBC Two, 9pm

Six years ago, Miriam Margolyes became an Australian citizen. “It was a day of supreme happiness,” she beams at the start of this typically honest and thoughtful travelogue. The self-described “78-year-old Jewish lesbian”, whose partner is Australian, embarks upon a 10 thousand kilometre voyage to find out whether the so-called Australian Dream still exists in 2020. Did it ever exist? Margolyes' findings are pretty bleak. She meets the first Aboriginal woman to be elected to the Victorian parliament, which only happened in 2017, and is shocked to discover that women over 55 now make up the fastest growing homeless population in Australia. She also uncovers the devastating effects of drought on farming communities, and encounters a young Afghan man who has been denied permanent residency.

LAST WEEK’S TV

IMAGINE… THIS HOUSE IS FULL OF MUSIC

Sunday 12th July, BBC One

Filmed during lockdown, this documentary visited the Kanneh-Mason family from Nottingham. Mum and dad looked on proudly as their seven children, all of them virtuoso classical musicians, performed various pieces. It existed for pure pleasure alone, a calming symphony of respite.

ONCE UPON A TIME IN IRAQ

Monday 13th July, BBC One

This riveting series is essayed through the eyes of the civilians, journalists and soldiers who lived through the 2003 invasion of Iraq and the years of chaos which followed. It’s an expertly woven, detailed patchwork of brutally frank talking head interviews; an essential document, scathing and humane. Notwithstanding the extravagantly whiskered Iraqi man who still regards Saddam as a martyr, the most troubling figure in episode one was a tequila-swigging American marine who was trained to view his mission as a glorified Rambo adventure. He looked broken, haunted. Meanwhile, a sharp-witted young man, who initially viewed the invading forces as emissaries of freedom, vividly encapsulated the utter insanity of the situation. When Saddam’s statue was toppled, he, like so many Iraqis, assumed the nightmare was finally over. As one war correspondent put it, with a rueful gallows smile, “What we didn’t realise was that the invasion wasn’t the war. The war was to come.”