ROCK TILL WE DROP + THE MYSTERY OF ANTHRAX ISLAND + STORYVILLE: WRITING WITH FIRE

This article was originally published in The Courier on 26th February 2022.

NEXT WEEK’S TV

Rock Till We Drop – Tuesday, BBC Two, 9pm

Former pop star Martin Kemp joins forces with rapper Lady Leshurr in this rather beguiling search for talented musicians aged 64 and over. 

They’re aiming to assemble a band capable of storming a 15-minute slot at the Isle of Wight Festival, but that’s not really the point. It’s all about giving older people the opportunity to prove something to themselves and others: an autumnal confidence boost. 

Projects of this nature always run the risk of patronising the participants, but Rock Till We Drop is, thankfully, not that sort of show. No one is mocked or made to look foolish. 

Kemp and Leshurr discover some genuine talents along the way. These nice, interesting people deserve their moment in the spotlight.

Marcus Wareing’s Tales from the Kitchen Garden – Monday to Friday, BBC Two, 6:30pm

Here we go again, folks, another aspirational series in which a celebrity starts a new life in the countryside. 

This one follows the Michelin-starred chef Marcus Wareing as he follows his dream of setting up a smallholding. That inherently amusing word is constantly invoked throughout the series, so much so that it almost starts to resemble a running gag. But at no point does Wareing observe that it sounds like the name of a Carry On character, one presumably played by Charles Hawtrey. Weird. 

An entirely bland and inoffensive man, Wareing makes Titchmarsh look like Keith Floyd at his most bacchanalian. But he means no harm in the grand scheme of things. He’s a mere smallholder.

Rise of the Nazis: Dictators at War – Monday, BBC Two, 9pm

The final chapter of this grimly compelling and authoritative essay begins in 1943 with the German Army retreating across the Western Front in the wake of its crushing defeat at Stalingrad. Hitler becomes increasingly remote, paranoid and desperate as the German public start to lose faith in his supposed infallibility. 

A prominent dissenter is the extraordinarily brave 21-year-old student Sophie Scholl, who risks her life by joining an underground resistance movement devoted to exposing Nazi lies about the war effort. The group’s ultimate goal is to encourage people to rise up and overthrow their despotic rulers before it’s too late. 

Meanwhile, senior German army officer Claus von Stauffenberg hatches a plan to assassinate der Fuhrer. 

Emergency – Monday to Thursday, Channel 4, 9pm

Stripped over four consecutive nights, this urgent frontline documentary gains access to London’s Major Trauma System, which was set up in the wake of the 2005 terrorist attacks. An interconnected NHS network of hospitals, air ambulances and paramedics, it provides a vital lifeline for major trauma patients. 

Yes, we’ve all seen programmes like this before, but they provide a valuable public service. It doesn’t matter that Emergency cleaves to all the familiar trappings of this genre (e.g. the bombastic narrator who sounds like he’s standing, legs wide apart, on a windswept hospital helipad), because its fundamentally sensitive message rings out loud and clear. 

Nothing can undermine the affecting human drama of these stories. A noble endeavour.

The Mystery of Anthrax Island – Tuesday, BBC Scotland, 10pm

Gruinard Island is a tiny uninhabited mass situated just a few miles off the coast of Wester Ross. During WWII it was used by British scientists as a testing ground for the deadly effects of anthrax. The unfortunate guinea pigs were sheep. It was henceforth classed as a contaminated danger zone. 

However, as this documentary reveals, it became a political cause celebre in the early 1980s when a mysterious group of protesters claimed to have visited the island and unearthed mounds of lethal soil. They deposited this soil outside the perimeter fence at the secretive MoD base Porton Down and near the Blackpool location of the Conservative Party Conference. 

Preview copies weren’t available, but this sounds absolutely fascinating.

Storyville: Writing with Fire – Wednesday, BBC Four, 10pm

According to India’s oppressive caste system, Dalit people are considered to be so impure they don’t even qualify as members of that hierarchy. Dalit women are constantly subjected to horrific acts of violence, while the male-dominated authorities turn a blind eye. 

This deeply angering yet cautiously hopeful film – which has been nominated for the 2022 Academy Award for Best Feature Documentary – follows a brave and brilliant group of female Dalit journalists as they take their pioneering newspaper into the digital age. 

Writing with Fire is both an unflinching indictment of human rights violations and an inspiring celebration of our vital universal need for journalistic integrity. Truth must always speak to power. It’s an important piece of work.

Would I Lie to You? – Friday, BBC iPlayer

The latest edition of this genial panel show welcomes comedian Jo Brand, Inbetweeners star Joe Thomas, Olympic gold-winning hockey player and Question of Sport captain Sam Quek, and the endearingly eccentric maths teacher and broadcaster Bobby Seagull. 

Things we’re asked to believe this week include: Quek waking up the morning after her Olympic triumph with a cheeseburger down her bra; Seagull taking a book with him whenever he visits a nightclub; and team captain Lee Mack looking after a beehive with predictably disastrous results. 

Seagull and Thomas are very good at sounding like they might be lying, even if they aren’t. A useful weapon in this arena. Viewers in Scotland can access the episode on iPlayer from around 9:30pm on Friday night.

LAST WEEK’S TV

Paul Sinha’s TV Showdown – Saturday 19th February, STV

Sinha is a very sharp and likeable man, he’s the perfect host for a nerdy TV quiz show, but alas this format is flawed. There’s too much meandering banter and not enough quizzing. Say what you like about Noel Edmonds by all means, but at least Telly Addicts got down to business. 

And that’s the other major drawback: the contestants are celebrities. ‘Ordinary people’ will always be more au fait with television than the busy pros who appear on it. So what you end up with is an irreverent yet committed quizmaster posing occasionally quite tricky questions to a baffled panel who dance around the answers in the hope of getting laughs. It’s all rather pointless. 

Louis Theroux’s Forbidden America – Sunday 20th February, BBC Two

I’m a big fan of Louis Theroux, he’s facilitated some of the most memorable television documentaries of the last 25 years, but he slipped into repetitive self-parody with his latest report from The Troubled Fringes of American Society. 

A belated sequel of sorts to his 2000 documentary about gangsta rap, it found him looking concerned as he met various rappers from disadvantaged backgrounds who were engaged in futile and often violent feuds: victims of a culture based on macho posturing. 

While I appreciate the point he was (presumably) making – nothing has changed for the marginalised youth of America – the programme itself was Theroux on autopilot. A well-meaning yet insubstantial exercise, it sighed sadly, frowned then ended.

IT'S A SIN + SILENCED: THE HIDDEN HISTORY OF DISABLED BRITAIN + BACK

A version of this article was first published in The Courier on 16th January 2021.

NEXT WEEK’S TV

It’s a Sin – Friday, Channel 4, 9pm

The great Russell T. Davies returns with this '80s-set drama about a group of friends dealing with the AIDS epidemic. It begins optimistically, with four young gay men and one straight woman embracing their newfound lives. Freedom at last. But we know what’s just around the corner. 

In typical Davies style, It's a Sin explodes with energy, wit and a sharp eye for detail. His dialogue sings, his characters are textured. No ciphers here. He handles human tragedy with compassion, but never sinks into cheap sentiment. And he absolutely does not judge with the benefit of hindsight. It’s frank, stark: it pulls no punches. It’s also funny. He can’t help being funny. 

Ever since Queer as Folk over 20 years ago, he’s been telling vital stories about the LGBT community. This is an essential addition to his life’s work.

Mark Kermode’s Secrets of Cinema – Monday, BBC Four, 9pm

Everybody’s talkin’ ‘bout pop movies! Well, Kermode is anyway, as his enlightening series of essays continues. This genre combines his twin passions, so no wonder it’s one of his favourites. 

He begins with Bessie Smith in 1929 and ends with Beyoncé in 2020, taking in along the way various notable biopics, pop star vehicles, jukebox musicals and rockumentaries. 

Kermode fans won’t be surprised by some of his choices – famously, he once described the surprisingly gritty Slade in Flame as “the Citizen Kane of British pop movies” – but that doesn’t matter. It’s a pleasure listening to him wax lyrical about cult classics such as Jimmy Cliff’s trailblazing reggae drama, The Harder They Come, and The Monkees’ psychedelic masterpiece, Head.

Long Lost Family – Monday, STV, 9pm

If you’ve seen this show before, you’ll know how sensitive it is. The latest series begins with an Irish couple desperate to find out what happened to their first-born child. Phyllis and Kevin fell in love as teenagers. 

When she became pregnant, they knew it would cause a scandal within their strict Catholic community. They tried to run away, but were eventually forced to give their baby up for adoption. Ever since they’ve wanted him to know that he was loved.

Meanwhile, we meet a Scottish man who was, for complicated reasons, given away by his mother at an early age. He was taken in informally by a family, leaving no paper trail. Prepare to shed a tear or two.

Silenced: The Hidden Story of Disabled Britain – Tuesday, BBC Two, 9pm

In 2009, CBeebies presenter Cerrie Bernell attracted criticism from ‘concerned’ parents who claimed that her right arm, which ends just below the elbow, was frightening their children. 

Most people were appalled by such a blatant display of prejudice in our supposedly enlightened age, but as Bernell illustrates in this thoughtful documentary, these attitudes have been ingrained within society for an aeon and beyond. 

Her history lesson exposes a litany of blinkered assumptions, many of them made by well-meaning progressives who intensified the notion that people with disabilities can’t function within able-bodied society. They must be pitied, othered. For their own good. 

An often shocking saga, but Bernell provides some hope. We can challenge fear and bigotry by talking, listening and learning.

First Dates – Tuesday, Channel 4, 10pm

Lovers of the world unite, French Fred is back. I was suspicious of this amorous warhorse when it first appeared in 2013. A contrived, voyeuristic blind dating show? That’s bound to be quite nasty and embarrassing. But it’s not. 

Granted, the first episode of this latest series features a pair of young Tories who are objectively awful, but for the most part it’s a generous show that doesn’t beg us to sneer at people (sneering at Tories doesn’t count, they deserve it; fight the power, First Dates). 

Bittersweet service resumes with a charismatic former roadie, a charming Lithuanian woman and two men who have already slept with each other. Not all at the same time, of course! Sigh. Anyway, enjoy.

Back – Thursday, Channel 4, 10pm

Series one of this Mitchell and Webb sitcom was broadcast way back in the halcyon Before Times of 2017. Like their previous sitcom, the (journalese warning) cult smash Peep Show, it was enjoyed by the relatively small number of dedicated viewers who bothered to tune in. I was a member of that happy band, so I welcome its belated return. 

A farcical black comedy, it stars Mitchell as Stephen, a – what else? – stuffy neurotic whose life in rural Gloucestershire is sent into freefall when Andrew (Webb), a suspiciously benign stranger, turns up claiming to be his long-lost foster brother. The family welcome Andrew with open arms, but Stephen regards him as a scheming sociopath intent on stealing his soul. 

Created by Simon Blackwell (Peep Show; The Thick of It), it's notable for containing lots of actual jokes. Glory be.

LAST WEEK’S TV

Paul Sinha’s TV Showdown – Saturday 9th January, STV

This new TV quiz is quite good fun. The questions are incredibly easy, but it’s an amiable Saturday night time-passer. 

Dry-witted Chaser Paul Sinha is an obsessive pop culture trivia hound, a man after my own heart, so he’s the perfect choice of host. Team captains Rob Beckett (a professional comedian) and Faye Ripley (a Cold Feet actor) are merely there to make up the numbers.

Episode one’s undoubted highlight was Sinha deliberately mispronouncing John Fashanu’s surname a la Chris Morris in The Day Today, a niche comedy reference that pleased me to bits. The show inevitably leans towards TV that happened five minutes ago – no one was asked to identify Talfryn Thomas – but Sinha just about makes it work.

Happy Birthday Mr Bean – Sunday 10th January, STV

On New Year’s Day 1990, Rowan Atkinson unleashed his latest comic persona: the semi-silent Mr Bean, a selfish, spiteful yet weirdly endearing agent of chaos. Bean went on to become a global phenomenon, delighting millions with the universal language of slapstick. 

This was a cut above most comedy retrospectives in that it focused on the people who were actually responsible for creating the work in question. There were no celebrity talking heads gushing pointlessly over their favourite scenes. Instead, writers Richard Curtis, Robin Driscoll and the rubber-faced funnyman ™ himself delivered some insight into their creative process. 

Atkinson is renowned for his perfectionism, but wishes he wasn’t. “It’s more of a disease,” he lamented. “It’s very draining.”