CONSENT | PUTIN vs THE WEST | THE REAL NOLLY

This article was originally published in The Courier on 4th February 2023.

NEXT WEEK’S TV

Consent – Tuesday, Channel 4, 10pm

This standalone drama takes place at an elite private school. 

It’s a breeding ground for future leaders, where obnoxious male students do whatever they want without fear of being held accountable. Female students are constantly subjected to sexual harassment ‐ or “banter”, as their toxic abusers call it. 

Archie seems different, however. He’s more sensitive. Archie has fallen for Natalie, and the feeling is mutual. Archie was born rich, whereas Natalie has won a scholarship. At a drunken party, Archie is peer‐pressured into sleeping with Natalie. She doesn’t consent. 

What follows is an acutely angering study of victim‐blaming and institutional corruption. An important piece, Consent is based on hundreds of testimonies from both the state and private school sectors.

Food Fest Scotland – Monday, BBC Scotland, 8:30pm

Those old Radio 1 compadres Edith Bowman and Colin Murray are the hosts of this genial time‐passer, in which they visit some of Scotland’s most popular food festivals. 

We find ourselves vicariously enjoying the Peebles Show in episode one. Bowman’s encounter with a world‐renowned chocolatier is among the gentle highlights. 

Meanwhile, off the coast of North Berwick, chef Julie Lin goes fishing for mackerel. She explains why this relatively inexpensive Scottish superfood should be a nutritious cornerstone of all non‐vegetarian diets. 

Lin also provides some sound snacking advice for people, such as your humble correspondent, who work every day from home. There’s more to life than crisps, apparently.

Putin vs the West – Monday, BBC Two, 9pm

In episode two of this typically authoritative essay from documentarian Norma Percy, Russian President Vladimir Putin asserts his presence in the Middle East. 

The Arab Spring uprisings encourage leaders in the West to enlist Putin as a much‐needed peacemaker. David Cameron feels he’s struck up some sort of mutual agreement with Putin, they seem to be getting somewhere. Putin then declares his support for Assad. 

If you’re unfamiliar with Percy’s style, it basically boils down to this: she weaves morally complex narratives populated by powerful politicians whose accounts she doesn’t necessarily endorse. But we seldom see them talk so ‘openly’ on camera. 

The Shamima Begum Story – Tuesday, BBC Two, 9pm

At the age of 15, Shamima Begum ran away from London to join the terror group IS. Four years later, while pregnant with her third child, she desperately wanted to come home.

Begum had shown very little remorse for her time spent with the group, so the British authorities regarded her as an ongoing threat to national security. They revoked her citizenship. Begum’s lawyers argued that she was a victim of human trafficking, and should therefore be protected by the country of her birth. 

In this documentary, which wasn’t available for preview, she recounts her story in the company of an investigative journalist who’s been trying to get to the bottom of it all for nearly a decade.

Bradley & Barney Walsh: Breaking Dad – Tuesday, STV, 9pm

As their Costa Rican hi‐jinks continue, ‘Bradders’ and ‘Barn’ attempt to climb some 132ft trees in a cloud forest. Avid dog lovers, they also visit a sanctuary that’s home to 2000 free‐roaming canines. 

A journey into the countryside puts them in contact with a former Olympian, who facilitates a father‐and‐son kayak slalom, but that’s a small hill of beans compared to their encounter with a gentleman who shot to fame when he befriended a crocodile. 

Breaking Dad is a charming little show with zero pretensions. Bradley Walsh, a nice man, has some daft contrived adventures with Barney Walsh, a nice lad. Programmes of greater depth are available, but that’s not what this is for.  

Ghislaine: Partner in Crime – Thursday, ITVX

ITV are marketing this four‐part series as the definitive account of the relationship between convicted sex trafficker Ghislaine Maxwell and the paedophile Jeffrey Epstein. 

I’ve only seen episode one, but it immediately struck me as a dubious exercise in which testimonies from Maxwell and Epstein’s victims are spliced with adamant counterarguments from two of Maxwell’s siblings. 

Why are ITV giving these people a platform? They’re unreliable sources who refuse point blank to accept that their sister could’ve committed those heinous crimes. Their contributions don’t provide journalistic ‘balance’, they actively undermine the voices of the abused women who have chosen to come forward. 

Watch the far superior House of Maxwell instead, it’s still available on iPlayer.  

Travel Man: 48 Hours in Split – Friday, Channel 4, 8:30pm

Much like Bradley & Barney Walsh: Breaking Dad, this chummy travelogue doesn’t pretend to be anything other than an inoffensive scenic detour. 

Joe Lycett’s latest travelling companion is the comedian, actor and writer Aisling Bea. They’re in the Croatian city of Split, which must surely be the coolest name for a city in the entire history of human existence. Face facts, Las Vegas. 

Lycett and Bea don’t like fish, but they gamely rustle up a piscine dish under the tutelage of a local chef who’s determined to teach them the culinary ways of “a Croatian grandma”. Our hosts also investigate a maze of alleys and squares, and a museum full of stuffed frogs. They’re way ahead in Split.

LAST WEEK’S TV

The Real Nolly – Thursday 2nd February, ITVX

A companion piece to Russell T. Davies’ excellent drama about Crossroads star Noele Gordon, this documentary didn’t really add anything, but it was nice seeing footage of the actual Nolly in action. 

As Davies discovered during his research, Nolly was a showbiz all‐rounder of the old school who cared deeply about her work. Crossroads may have been a silly little soap opera, but it was a silly little soap opera that brought pleasure to millions. And she was adored by her colleagues, some of whom turned up to pay tribute. 

I find it rather pleasing that, such is Davies’ benign power within the industry, he’s got us all talking about this versatile trouper forty years after her heyday. 

Building Britain’s Superhomes – Wednesday 1st February, Channel 4

Guy Phoenix is renowned for creating colossal palaces for the mega‐rich. He’s not a qualified architect or interior designer, but by God he gets results. As he never tires of reminding us. 

This relentless migraine of a series follows Phoenix as he oversees ambitious builds while effing and jeffing like a try‐hard teenage rebel. I’m all for swearing, just as long as it’s delivered with some wit and proficiency. Phoenix is a dullard.

This is yet another tone deaf commission from our bubble‐dwelling TV overlords, who don’t understand that the last thing any of us want to see right now (or ever) is an aggressive celebration of extreme wealth. These programmes rub our noses in it, they’re an insult.

NOLLY | EMILY ATACK: ASKING FOR IT? | HOTEL PORTOFINO

This article was originally published in The Courier on 28th January. 

NEXT WEEK’S TV

Nolly – Thursday, ITVX

A huge star in her day, Noele ‘Nolly’ Gordon ruled Crossroads for almost twenty years. She was affectionately known as Queen of the Midlands. 

But in 1981, Nolly was sacked without any warning or rational explanation. She was bereft, Crossroads was her life. A public outcry ensued. Why had she been treated this way? This stellar drama from Russell T. Davies teases that peculiar mystery until the very end. 

Told with his characteristic wit, warmth and verve, Nolly is a heartfelt paean to the people who make soaps and the viewers who love them. 

Helena Bonham Carter and co deliver pitch-perfect performances in simpatico with Davies’ sparkling material. Clearly a labour of love, the whole thing is delightful.

Putin vs the West – Monday, BBC Two, 9pm

This absorbing three-part series from that estimable documentarian Norma Percy tells the story of Vladmir Putin’s tumultuous march towards war. It begins in 2014 when Putin first attacked Ukraine and seized the Crimean peninsula. 

As always, Percy examines a complex political situation with acuity. 

She never fails to populate her projects with big name contributors, all of them keen to provide their own insider versions of events. On this occasion we hear from the likes of David Cameron, Francois Hollande, former Ukrainian President Petro Poroshenko and, in later episodes, Boris Johnson. 

These world leaders were divided with regards to how to best deal with Putin, who in turn succeeded in exploiting that tension for his own political gain.

Emily Atack: Asking for It? – Tuesday, BBC Two, 9pm

Every day without fail, the actor, presenter and comedian Emily Atack is, like so many women, sexually harassed online. She’s bombarded by men sending her unsolicited explicit images and messages. 

In this thoughtful documentary, Atack asks why so little is being done to protect women and girls from such abuse. Why do some men behave in this way? Because they think they’ll get away with it. Most of them do. Their disgusting behaviour leaves women feeling fearful and ashamed. 

Atack’s interviewees include psychologists, activists, her own parents, and a group of schoolgirls who confirm that the authorities - and by extension society at large - aren’t doing enough to either understand or confront this issue.

The Magical World of Moss – Wednesday, BBC Four, 9pm

I felt a bittersweet pang of nostalgia when I spotted this programme in the listings. It’s not a repeat, but it harks back to the days when BBC Four showcased esoteric documentaries as a matter of course. 

Three years ago, the BBC announced that Four would gradually cease to originate new programmes, becoming instead a repository for archive content. I can only assume that The Magical World of Moss was one of the last new shows to slip through the net. 

As you’ve doubtless already gathered, it’s a study of mosses and their many remarkable properties. Various moss-obsessed scientists pop up to explain why this fuzzy green plant is so important to our ecosystem. A charming programme.

Eat the Town – Thursday, BBC Scotland, 8:30pm

Darren ‘Dazza’ Dowling and Natalie Erskine are the affably irreverent hosts of this culinary travelogue, in which they discover what various Scottish towns have to offer food and activity-wise. First stop, Forfar. 

They enjoy a healthy café breakfast, a sizeable bridie lunch, and some dinner at a pan-Asian restaurant. They also visit a sheep and alpaca farm, before embarking upon a cocktail-making challenge at a local distillery. 

Dowling and Erskine are clearly having fun with this gentle deconstruction of standard TV conventions. Nothing too radical, you understand, but they sometimes acknowledge the crew and the script they’re all working from, a bit like a pair of young, sober Keith Floyds. If you can imagine such a thing.

Bill Gates: Amol Rajan Interviews – Friday, BBC Two, 7:30pm

Famously, the billionaire Microsoft co-founder Bill Gates has pledged to donate much of his fortune to urgent global causes. Poverty, disease, gender inequality and climate change being chief among them. BBC journalist Amol Rajan meets up with him in Kenya. 

Mild highlights include Gates airing his concerns about social media’s deleterious impact on nuanced discourse, and the ways in which it incubates dangerous conspiracy theories. He’s a diplomatic pro, but he obviously has no time for Trump and Musk. 

Rajan also asks Gates about his relationship with Jeffrey Epstein. “In retrospect I would’ve been much smarter to never even talk to him at all,” he says, clearly discomfited by the subject. “I only met him a few times…”

Hotel Portofino – Friday, STV, 9pm

ITV are clearly hoping to replicate the success of Downton Abbey with this glossy new period  drama.

Set in 1926, it revolves around the owners and guests of a luxury hotel on the Italian Riviera. This fine establishment is run by a thoroughly modern and awfully decent Englishwoman. While taking care of business, she frets over her son, a physically and psychologically scarred World War One veteran. She’s also shackled to a philandering husband. 

Hotel Portofino is an entirely middling affair, it doesn’t make much of an impression. Pretty hats, pleasant scenery, no substance. It’s one of those shows you just gaze at idly from afar while thinking about how nice it would be to go on holiday.

LAST WEEK’S TV

Fight the Power: How Hip Hop Shaped the World – Saturday 21st January, BBC Two

Partly curated by Chuck D, this tremendous series places the origins and impact of Hip Hop in detailed sociohistorical context. 

He's joined by an insightful array of talking heads, all of whom emphasise that Hip Hop has always been an explicitly political movement. It emerged as a reaction against systemic social injustice, the vital sound of young working-class African-Americans speaking truth to power.

Chapter one examined its roots in the poverty-stricken neighbourhoods of 1970s New York, whose residents had been callously abandoned by the white ruling classes. 

This new art form was an expression of anger and defiant celebration; in Chuck D’s words, “A pot of cultural get-down.” 

All four episodes are available on iPlayer.

Deep Fake Neighbour Wars – Thursday 26th January, ITVX

Whenever I tell people what I do for a living, they sometimes say, “You must have to watch some rubbish!” Well, not really. I tend to avoid obviously awful things, both for my sake and yours. It’s a waste of time. 

But this, dear reader, is without doubt one of the worst television programmes I have ever seen, and I feel compelled to stress that. Consider it a public service.

It’s an utterly depressing, mirthless sketch show in which impressionists embody celebs via deep fake technology. It makes the failed Spitting Image revival look like an incendiary satirical triumph. There are no actual jokes, the unsettling gimmick is everything. 

Imagine if Idris Elba lived next door to Greta Thunberg! Right, and then what happens? Nothing. Stella Street must be spinning in its grave.

THE LOVE BOX IN YOUR LIVING ROOM | JIMMY CARR DESTROYS ART | KIDS' TV: THE SURPRISING STORY

This article was originally published in The Courier on 22nd October 2022. 

NEXT WEEK’S TV

The Love Box in Your Living Room – Thursday, BBC Two, 9pm

Harry Enfield and Paul Whitehouse’s contribution to the BBC’s centenary is this very funny spoof documentary about the corporation’s history. 

All entirely fabricated, yet partially grounded in reality, it’s presented in the signature style of documentarian Adam Curtis; as we’ve come to expect, the duo's attention to detail is almost entirely flawless. 

Fans of Smashie & Nicey: End of an Era and their fiftieth anniversary ‘tribute’ to BBC Two, Story of the 2s, will know that spoof documentaries are an ideal format for Enfield and Whitehouse. They can pack loads of silly gags into an hour, while also delivering some pointed satire. 

Love Box gleefully mocks the BBC while attacking those who seek to destroy it. There are a couple of gags towards the end that cause some mild tension, but for the most part it's delightful.

Made in the ‘80s: The Decade That Shaped Our World – Monday, Channel 4, 9pm

Deeley Boppers! The Rubik’s Cube! Black Lace! Weren’t the ‘80s great? Such a laugh. Good times. 

That heavy-handed sarcasm will give you an idea of where this new series is coming from. Preview copies weren’t available, but it sounds like a sombre documentary antidote to lazy, trite nostalgia. 

It begins with Britain anxiously awaiting the very real threat of nuclear Armageddon. We’re reminded of the various ad men and artists who reflected that terrifying epoch in their confrontational work. 

It also recounts the story of several brave women who stood up against the American military industrial complex, and an unsung spy who apparently saved us all from oblivion. Fingers crossed, it could be fascinating. 

Jimmy Carr Destroys Art – Tuesday, Channel 4, 9:15pm

Seeing as its only reason for existing is to generate headlines, you’ve probably read about this programme in which Carr, following a no doubt nuanced studio debate about censorship, will literally destroy an artwork created by an awful person. 

The artists under review include Hitler, Picasso and Rolf Harris. 

Yes, I know. Pure Brass Eye. 

I understand why Channel 4, which turned 40 this year, are doing this. It’s a desperate attempt to remind viewers of its provocative origins. One in the eye for the right-wing politicians who argue that it provides no alternative to its competitors, hence why it should be sold off. 

I don’t want that to happen, obviously, but I daresay this isn’t the ideal form of protest. 

Kids’ TV: The Surprising Story – Wednesday, BBC One, 9pm

The BBC’s centenary celebrations continue with this insightful essay from former Blue Peter presenter Konnie Huq. 

Children’s programmes have always been one of the most important facets of the BBC’s output. They’ve shaped our lives and attitudes. They’ve encouraged diversity and understanding. 

Huq interviews luminaries such as Johnny Ball, Floella Benjamin, Cerrie Burnell, Sarah Greene and Phil Redmond. This is no mere exercise in cosy nostalgia, it’s a considered study of how certain pioneering programme-makers and gifted presenters have made a hugely positive impact on British culture. 

As Redmond, the architect of Grange Hill, says: “Kids’ TV can be pure entertainment, or actually help people navigate society. You’re not alone… everything you’ve been through, somebody else has been through.”

Grand Designs – Wednesday, Channel 4, 9pm

This week, hard-hatted Kevin McCloud revisits Vicky and Ed, who – full disclosure, I’m quoting from the press release here – “in 2015 broke free from the shackles of their hectic London lives to try to build a new life in the Somerset countryside.” 

Pretty much yer standard Grand Designs set-up, and you can absolutely guarantee that McCloud has no memories of Vicky and Ed. These people are just a blur to him. 

Vicky and Ed, like most foolhardy Grand Designs contributors, have invested all their money in a massively ambitious building project. Why bother? Just, if you possibly can, find a decent dwelling and enjoy life. Get a cat. Order some cushions online. No one needs this ridiculous hassle.

Inside Russia: Putin’s War At Home – Thursday, STV, 10.45pm

Another edition of ITV’s award-winning Exposure strand – they broke the Jimmy Savile scandal back in 2012 – this documentary, which was filmed in secrecy, gives voice to defiant Russians who have refused to remain silent in the wake of Putin’s invasion of Ukraine. 

By standing up against their authoritarian ruler, these brave people are risking their lives so that we can gain a greater understanding of the situation. 

One of the key contributors is Vasiliy, a Russian journalist and filmmaker. “All the laws are really vague in Russia,” he says. “To me operating in this kind of environment is very difficult. You start getting a little bit paranoid. It's uncomfortable in an emotional way.” 

Young, Black and Right-Wing – Thursday, Channel 4, 11:05pm

Broadcaster Zeze Millz, who hosts this documentary, is a somewhat controversial figure. A woman of colour, her views are often categorised as right-wing: antithetical to the innate needs and values of her community. 

She regards herself as someone who cannot be easily placed on the political spectrum. Her argument, broadly speaking, is that Black people who have a socially conservative outlook shouldn’t be blithely disregarded as a homogenous sector of society incapable of nuanced debate. That's immensely patronising and reductive.

Millz’s report wasn’t available for preview, so I’m not qualified to comment on what it specifically entails, but it does sound interesting. As always, I bring these programmes to your attention for that very reason.

LAST WEEK’S TV

Hans Zimmer: Hollywood Rebel – Sunday 16th October, BBC Two

This was rather fascinating. Hans Zimmer is one of the most prolific and respected composers of music for Hollywood films and ‘high-end’ television. His work has burrowed its way into our heads over the years. 

Throughout this documentary, Zimmer – an affable, intelligent, sensitive and slightly eccentric character – didn’t seem particularly bothered by the notion of being a fairly anonymous contributor to works of art beloved by millions. He’s secure in the knowledge that his music is an integral part of various significant films and TV shows. His legacy is assured. 

The programme also reminded us that Oscar-winning Zimmer wrote the theme tune for ‘80s daytime quiz show Going for Gold. One helluva career.

Our Jubilee – Sunday 16th October, STV

Screened by ITV as part of Black History Month, this ruminative documentary recounted the stories of various Black British citizens who lived through the late Queen’s reign. 

It was, of course, filmed before she passed away, but that worked in the programme’s poignant favour. The interviewees spoke of her – and what she meant to them - in the present tense, while reflecting upon the last seven decades. Several nuanced thoughts and feelings ensued. 

ITV is often, quite rightly, pilloried for its questionable output, but worthwhile programmes such as this tend to go unnoticed. And that’s probably because ITV stick ‘em out late at night on Sundays. This should’ve been shown at 9pm after Corrie.