DON'T EXCLUDE ME + 28 UP: MILLENNIUM GENERATION + HITMEN RELOADED

This article was originally published in The Courier on 25th September 2021.

NEXT WEEK’S TV

Don’t Exclude Me – Thursday, BBC Two, 9pm

The rate of school exclusions in Britain for five to six-year-olds has doubled in the last three years. This sensitive new series visits a primary school which, like so many schools, struggles to cope with the extreme behaviours of certain pupils. 

Enter the aptly-named behavioural expert Marie Gentles, who has spent the last ten years working with excluded children. She gradually forms close professional relationships with the kids, their parents and teachers, in the hope of making life better for all concerned. 

The children she meets come across as bright and sensitive, but they’re prone to sudden angry outbursts; no one so far has been able to explain why. Gentles, a beacon of kindness, works realistic wonders.

The Goes Wrong Show – Monday, BBC One, 8:30pm

The Mischief Theatre company are renowned for their knockabout send-ups of incompetent amateur dramatic productions. I’m reliably informed that their live shows are great fun, but my only exposure to them has been via these middling TV adaptations. Something has presumably been lost in translation. 

It strikes me as a purely theatrical conceit, ill-suited to the necessary constraints of being filmed in a television studio. The blatantly tweaked audience laughter track doesn’t help. 

I don’t want to be too down on this utterly harmless show, it’s an agreeable enough piece of family entertainment written and performed by a capable cast. Unfortunately, for me, the joke wears thin in this context. It’s like an overextended Crackerjack sketch. Great. I feel terrible now.

24 Hours in Police Custody – Monday, Channel 4, 9pm

Please take heed: this is a particularly gruelling episode of a series that’s seldom upbeat at the best of times. It chronicles the case of a man who, in broad daylight, invaded a house and brutally assaulted the inhabitants: a woman, her daughter and teenage grandniece. 

The police captured a clear image of the attacker on CCTV: a brothel owner and human trafficker with a string of GBH offences. They also had his fingerprints. Unfortunately, the investigation was placed in jeopardy when an understandably angry and entirely well-meaning family member shared the CCTV footage on social media. He also offered a £20,000 ransom award. Naturally, the attacker fled the country. 

An uncomfortable hour of television. Don’t have nightmares.

28 Up: Millennium Generation – Wednesday, BBC One, 9pm

A 21^st century spin-off from Michael Apted’s seminal 7 Up project, this valuable social document has now reached its fourth chapter. 

You know the premise: British kids from various walks of life are filmed at seven-year intervals; an anthropological study that tells us something about the ways in which society has changed during their lifetimes. 

Episode one catches up with Sanchez, who is now a Black Lives Matter campaigner and a DJ for BBC Leeds. We also reconvene with Gemma, a disabled woman who works with children from disadvantaged backgrounds, and Courtney, a trainee teacher devoted to pupils with additional needs. 

Call me a pie-eyed optimist if you will, but this generation provides some hope for the future.

Hollington Drive – Wednesday, STV, 9pm

Set in an idyllic suburb where most of the dwellings look like luxury show homes, this psychological thriller stars Anna Maxwell Martin and Rachael Stirling as sisters with a tense, brittle relationship. 

When a 10-year-old boy goes missing from the neighbourhood, Theresa (Maxwell Martin, excellent as always) begins to suspect that her son might be involved. This is one of those chilly dramas in which no one really seems to like each other. That constant buzz of passive-aggression is quite exhausting. 

Despite the sombre subject matter and gradual drip-feed of murky secrets, it’s curiously opaque and uninvolving. Imagine an unusually depressing episode of Knot’s Landing, then decide if that’s something you want to watch.

Hitmen Reloaded – Sky Showcase, 9pm

The cuddly comedy duo of Mel Giedroyc and Sue Perkins playing killers-for-hire is a daft, intriguing premise, and it was exploited to reasonable effect in series one of this sitcom. Now they’re back for another run. 

A black farce with a dash of warmth, it posits Mel and Sue as assassins who treat their job as exactly that: a workaday way of paying the bills while dealing with far bigger problems in their personal lives. 

Mel and Sue are a likeable team who’ve developed a natural chemistry after years of working together. They convince as daffy old middle-aged pals, because that’s what they are. And Sue is a surprisingly effective kick-ass action hero.

Richard Osman’s House of Games Night – Friday, BBC One, 8:30pm

An early evening cult hit of sorts on BBC Two for the last few years, Richard Osman’s House of Games is an inoffensive fancy in which celebrities compete via ‘esoteric’ trivia rounds. Last year during lockdown it filled an emergency gap on BBC One, which was presumably successful enough to warrant another series. 

So here he is, the enormous funster, presiding over the likes of Dara O’ Briain and Sian ‘Car Share’ Gibson as they attempt to answer questions about the unrelated provenance of test tube babies and the Teletubbies. 

It is what it is: a cheap, cheerful Friday night parlour game wreathed in whimsy. And well done to those of you at home who get the right answers.

LAST WEEK’S TV

When Nirvana Came to Britain – Saturday 18th September, BBC Two

We all know the story of how Nirvana, three nerdy punks from Seattle, became the world’s biggest band in the early 1990s. A brief freak triumph; an almost accidental assault on mainstream culture which ended in tragedy. 

But this decent little documentary reminded me that Nirvana were just a bunch of goofy, sensitive, talented kids who struck a nerve. They weren’t revolutionaries on a firebrand mission, they were ordinary human beings who made fellow outsiders feel better about themselves. 

Throughout the programme, surviving members Dave Grohl and Krist Novoselic reflected fondly upon that period just before they became superstars: when they could still play impromptu acoustic sets in Edinburgh pubs. It was all rather sad and sweet.

Last Man Standing: Suge Knight and the Murders of Biggie and Tupac – Sunday 19th September, BBC Two

Presumably quite by accident, BBC Two continued its weekend theme of ‘90s pop tragedies with Nick Broomfield’s absorbing sequel to his 2002 film Biggie & Tupac. 

Suge Knight, the co-founder of Death Row records, has always been a chief suspect in the murders of rap stars Biggie Smalls and Tupac Shakur. He’s currently serving time for manslaughter, hence why Broomfield felt that his associates would be more willing to talk about him. And they were, to a cautious extent. Knight, a sadistic gangster, still has people on the outside. 

Broomfield’s main point was this: the LAPD is massively corrupt, they can’t be trusted. And Knight is an awful man. A sordid, angering saga.

 

 

 

 

MANHUNT: THE NIGHT STALKER + THE GREAT BRITISH BAKE OFF + TASKMASTER

This article was originally published in The Courier on 18th September 2021.

NEXT WEEK’S TV

Manhunt: The Night Stalker – Monday to Thursday, STV, 9pm

Two years ago, Martin Clunes starred in a hit true crime drama about the hunt for serial killer Levi Bellfield. This is the sequel. 

Based once again on the diaries of retired police officer Colin Sutton, it follows our unassuming yet dogged hero as he attempts to solve the gruesome case of a serial burglar and rapist who remained at large for 17 years. 

The police had samples of his DNA, but that meant nothing as he wasn’t in their database. His identity remained a mystery until Sutton was eventually called in to make sense of what little evidence they had. 

Manhunt, like Sutton, is methodical. It takes its time, but gets results. Textbook stuff, really, but it doesn’t offend.

Disclosure: On a Cliff Edge – Monday, BBC One, 8:30pm

Recent statistics show that young disabled people are significantly less likely to be in work than people without a disability. 

In this BBC Scotland report, Ian Hamilton reveals that school-leavers aren’t receiving the additional support they need. “Leaving home is an important part of growing up,” he says, “but for young disabled people it’s rarely straightforward.” 

He meets a woman with muscular dystrophy who was told that she wouldn’t be able to cope with university, and a disabled man who was given zero careers advice. 

He also interviews Pam Duncan-Glancy, the first permanent wheelchair-user elected to the Scottish Parliament, who encapsulates the point of Hamilton’s investigation by calling for increased investment in social care, health and employment services.

The Great British Bake Off – Tuesday, Channel 4, 8pm

The latest series of this sugar-glazed powerhouse begins with – of all things – a pastiche of Billy Ray Cyrus’ Achy Breaky Heart, ‘performed’ by hosts Paul Hollywood, Prue Leith, Matt Lucas and Noel Fielding. 

An obvious attempt to get Twitter talking, it feels more suited to Lucas’ old Shooting Stars stomping ground. But once that’s out of the way, it’s Bake Off business as usual. 

In round one, the contestants are tasked with baking some mini roll sponges, a malt loaf and “an anti-gravity illusion cake”. The highlight, however, is Lucas singing the Flintstones theme in German to a baffled contestant from the Black Forest. Meanwhile, Fielding mooches around in a wacky jumper.

Never Mind the Buzzcocks – Tuesday, Sky Showcase, 9pm

Yes, it’s back. A prologue featuring new host Greg Davies plus members of Blue and B*Witched explains the supposed thinking behind this revival: pop culture is so diffuse these days, the charts don’t really mean anything, so we need a weekly comedy music quiz to bring it all together again. 

Which is fine in theory, but episode one suggests they needn’t have bothered. 

Davies is a funny man, but he doesn’t have much room to stamp his personality on proceedings. Returning team captain Noel Fielding – him again – goes, as always, through the zany motions, while his opponent, Daisy May Cooper from This Country, barely makes an impression. 

It’s all a bit forced and desperate. A zombie resurrection.

The Hairy Bikers Go North – Thursday, BBC Two, 8pm

In which the affable duo of Si King and Dave Myers go motor bikin’ through the north of England, from the west coast to the east. Their culinary journey begins in Lancashire, which has so much more to offer than its clichéd diet of hot pots, black puddings and Eccles cakes. 

They visit an award-winning cask ale pub/brewery, a buffalo dairy farm and an Italian ice cream parlour renowned for its ancient secret recipe. The lads also cook up a traditional steak, mushroom and ale pie while learning a little bit about the Temperance Movement. 

You know what to expect from the Bikers by now: a picturesque and fragrant gravy boat of unpretentious charm. Simple pleasure viewing.

Roaming in the Wild – Thursday, BBC Scotland, 8pm

If you’re in need of some emergency respite, then please allow me to nudge you in the direction of this delightful series. It follows filmmaker Andrew O’Donnell and his pal Mark Taylor as they explore the hidden wilds of Scotland. 

Their first stop is the River Kelvin in Glasgow, a tributary they navigate via a second-hand dinghy. Gently powered by O’Donnell’s wry, lilting narration (“Oh, to be daft on a raft, it’s a wonderful craft.”), this is the calming TV equivalent of a little paper boat circling idly in a pond. It makes Mortimer and Whitehouse: Gone Fishing look like Deliverance. 

All television is artifice, of course, but Roaming in the Wild lulls you into believing that it fell together accidentally.

Taskmaster – Thursday, Channel 4, 9pm

Greg Davies is far more at home here than he is on Buzzcocks. This entertaining comedy gameshow is his fiefdom. 

As the umpteenth series begins, he welcomes another batch of celebrity competitors, namely Only Connect host Victoria Coren Mitchell, comedians Alan Davies and Morgana Robinson, Guz Khan from Man Like Mobeen and American comic Desiree Burch. 

Their tasks this week include painting a flattering portrait of Davies while lying flat on their backs on those wheeled platforms mechanics use to get underneath cars, and bursting a tethered water balloon using a variety of missiles. 

I’m not ashamed to admit that I let out an involuntary cheer during Coren’s attempt, such is my investment in this genial nonsense. 

LAST WEEK’S TV

Amy Winehouse: A Life in Ten Pictures – Saturday 11th September, BBC Two

This occasional series rests upon a simple yet effective concept: the lives of deceased entertainers are told via significant photographs. Their loved ones gaze upon these images and reminisce. 

The latest edition felt like an addendum to BBC Two’s recent Winehouse documentary, featuring as it did three of the same contributors: her parents and one of her closest, non-celebrity friends. 

But it observed something that the previous programme didn’t: how must it have felt for Winehouse to sing her soul-drenched songs of heartbreak night after night? That’s the last thing you need when you’re in so much pain. 

As always, one was left with the impression of a sensitive, vulnerable person who was destroyed by addiction. Life is unjust.

Fred and Rose West: Reopened – Wednesday 15th September to Thursday 16th September, STV

Earlier this year, a television production company began investigating the notorious case of Fred and Rose West. They handed their findings over to the police, which in turn triggered a reinvestigation. 

That’s good, right? Well yes, but the resulting programme resembled a straight-faced episode of Brass Eye hosted by a bemused Trevor McDonald. Lurid, tasteless, offensive tabloid television. 

I believe at least one of the participants – a policeman who suspected that the Wests claimed several unreported victims – had entirely genuine and admirable motives, but his sincerity was undermined by an irresponsible programme intent on presenting an utterly tragic saga as a serial killer thriller. Admittedly, I only had access to episode one, but that was enough.

 

 

HELP + ALL CREATURES GREAT AND SMALL + THE NORTH WATER

This article was originally published in The Courier on 11th September 2021. 

NEXT WEEK’S TV

Help – Thursday, Channel 4, 9pm

Jodie Comer and Stephen Graham star in this devastating drama about a Liverpool care home struggling to cope during the first few months of the pandemic. 

Written by Jack Thorne (This is England; The Virtues) it’s a compassionate paean to the beleaguered fortitude of professional carers and an unflinching indictment of, in Thorne’s choice words, “the indifference and incompetence of our government.” 

It tells the story of a kindly care home nurse (Comer) who befriends a middle-aged man (Graham) with early-onset Alzheimer’s. 

Comer and Graham are both outstanding, while Thorne succeeds in making his vital, angry point: care homes were effectively abandoned during the pandemic, leaving staff to look after their vulnerable residents without adequate funding or resources.

Alma’s Not Normal – Monday, BBC Two, 10pm

A semi-autobiographical sitcom written by and starring comedian Sophie Willan, Alma’s Not Normal is a frank study of mental illness, alienation and addiction. But, you know, with a light-hearted slant. 

Alma is a single, unemployed working-class woman in her thirties who dreams of becoming an actor. So far that prize has eluded her. Alma’s mother (the excellent Siobhan Finneran) is a heroin addict and occasional arsonist; this is not a conventional family, but they get by in their way. 

Alma is a likeable underdog, and Willan deserves plaudits for her willingness to explore difficult issues in a refreshingly matter-of-fact manner. And despite the sombre subject matter, there’s an underlying sweetness to it all.

Spice Girls: How Girl Power Changed Britain – Tuesday, Channel 4, 9pm

Ah, the 1990s. What a time to be alive. This new series promises to tell the story of how a manufactured UK girl group became a global phenomenon. Preview copies weren’t available at the time of writing, but I’m recommending it anyway as it could potentially be an interesting piece of social history shot through the prism of popular culture. Apologies if it isn’t. 

We’re promised some rare archive footage and new interviews, presumably with the Spice Girls themselves. Naturally, it begins with their formation in 1994 and goes on to ask whether their ‘girl power’ stance was more than a mere marketing gimmick: did it actually have some lasting influence on contemporary feminism? Hopefully we’ll find out.

Undisputed: The Life and Times of Ken Buchanan – Tuesday, BBC Scotland, 10pm

The former undisputed lightweight world champion Ken Buchanan is widely regarded as one of the greatest British boxers. Feted for his unremitting left-handed jab, the Edinburgh-born pugilist was a single-minded hurricane of energy, skill and willpower. This vivid profile pays tribute to him. 

Now 76, Buchanan recently developed dementia, but he has no trouble remembering the details of his early life and career – an amazing journey that took him to sweltering Puerto Rico, Franco-era Spain, Madison Square Garden and out on the dancefloor with Princess Anne. 

But like so many top athletes, he struggled to cope with life in retirement. Yet despite the problems he’s faced, the champ remains sanguine. His legacy is assured.

The Man Putin Couldn’t Kill – Wednesday, Channel 4, 10pm

In August of last year, Russia’s charismatic opposition leader Alexei Navalny was rushed to hospital after being poisoned with a Novichok nerve agent. He survived the attack and continues to campaign against his all-powerful political rival Vladmir Putin. A risky endeavour.

This documentary – which was still being edited at the time of writing – sounds intriguing, as it purports to uncover a particularly murky case of international espionage. Not only that, it apparently features one of Navalny’s would-be assassins confessing to his victim. 

The programme also addresses the issue of why Navalny poses such a threat to Putin. Just what does his ongoing struggle mean for the future of Russia and the world at large?

All Creatures Great and Small – Thursday, Channel 5, 9pm

The TV sleeper hit of 2020, this adaptation of the memoirs of Yorkshire vet James Herriot was a source of comfort during lockdown: unchallenging escapism incarnate. 

Which isn’t a back-handed compliment; just like the much-loved BBC adaptation starring Christopher Timothy, the all-new All Creatures Great and Small is an irresistibly charming confection that fulfils its brief with élan. It’s well-written, adroitly performed and looks lovely. 

Series two begins with James returning to Yorkshire after a brief sojourn back home in Glasgow. Will he be able to rekindle his romance with Helen? Fans of the books and original TV series already know the answer, but that doesn’t impede our enjoyment. Its continuing success is assured.

The Cleaner – Friday, BBC One, 9:30pm

The second episode of this enjoyable sitcom about a hapless crime scene cleaner is effectivly a two-hander between Greg Davies, who writes and stars, and special guest turn David Mitchell. He plays a highly-strung author whose grandmother has died in a bizarre fireside accident. 

And that’s really all there is plot-wise: it’s primarily an excuse for Davies and Mitchell to do their respective things to reliably amusing effect. 

It doesn’t build upon the premise established in last week’s opener, although it would appear that Helena Bonham Carter returns in a later episode. The Cleaner isn’t typical Friday night on BBC One sitcom fare, being spiritually more suited to BBC Two, but that’s part of its mildly subversive appeal.

LAST WEEK’S TV

After 9/11: Scotland’s Story – Tuesday 7th September, BBC Scotland

This commendable documentary examined the long-term repercussions of 9/11 on the people of Scotland. It featured testimonies from members of Scotland’s Muslim community, some of whom were physically attacked in the wake of 9/11: a sharp rise in overt displays of racism and Islamophobia is one of the many heinous consequences of that atrocity. 

Other contributors included the organiser of a vast anti-war demonstration in Glasgow - just one of many such events that were ignored by Tony Blair – and the mother of a Scottish soldier who was killed in Iraq. But the programme ended on a cautiously hopeful note, with the Muslim contributors suggesting that attitudes towards race in Scotland have improved in recent years.

The North Water – Friday September 10, BBC Two

Colin Farrell and Stephen Graham (that man again) star in this promising new drama about a 19^th century whaling expedition to the Arctic. 

Farrell plays a violent alcoholic drifter – an imposing greasy bear of a man – while Graham, looking like a squashed Barry Gibb, is the ship’s furtive captain. Also on board is an ex-army surgeon (Graham's This is England co-star Jack O’Connell) with a shady past. 

A co-production between the BBC and American network AMC (home of Breaking Bad and Mad Men), The North Water so far appears to be a satisfyingly grim journey into Hell. Mired in wretched grime and murk, it’s a laudanum-laced nightmare spiked with piquant dialogue and solid performances. Gruesome fun.

 

THE CLEANER + THE SCOTTS + A HOUSE THROUGH TIME

This article was originally published in The Courier on 4th September 2021.

NEXT WEEK’S TV

The Cleaner ‐ Friday, BBC One, 9:30pm

Greg Davies stars in this new sitcom about a crime scene cleaner with no emotional investment in the carnage he’s tasked with scrubbing. But then he meets a blood‐spattered murderer played by Helena Bonham Carter, who fascinates him strangely. 

Adapted by Davies from a critically acclaimed German series called Der Tatortreiniger, this ‐ as if you hadn’t already guessed ‐ is a black comedy farce. And it’s ideally suited to Davies’ disgruntled, bewildered, buffoonish middle‐aged man persona. 

Episode one is a tad self‐conscious in its efforts to establish an offbeat ‘anything goes’ tone, but it’s still quite entertaining. Davies is a naturally funny farceur and the premise is intriguing. There could be something here. 

The Scotts ‐ Monday, BBC One, 10:35pm

Written by and starring Iain Connell and Robert Florence of Burnistoun renown, this likeable sitcom charts the internecine dysfunction of an extended Scottish family and their best pals. 

Brothers Vincent and Henry are relatively normal, at least when compared to the absurdist characters Connell and Florence created for their sketch show. The Scotts is set in the real world or thereabouts. 

But don’t worry (if indeed you were), this isn’t an embarrassing bid for ‘mature artistic growth’ from the Burnistoun boys. It’s still very silly and acerbic, although it does have a bit of heart underneath all the ‘slaggings’ and cheerful crudity. 

Episode one revolves around failed attempts at familial bonding. You might relate to some of its anguish.

Wonders of Scotland with David Hayman ‐ Tuesday, STV, 7:30pm

The Scottish actor David Hayman was born and bred in Glasgow, but his roaming heart lies in the Highlands. This series is just another celebrity‐fronted travelogue, of course it is, but it’s elevated somewhat by Hayman’s seasoned gifts as an orator. His presentation style is borderline poetic and the man’s genuine passion for the project is never in doubt. 

Sure, Tam Weir did all of this years ago; that woolly‐hatted, dram‐thirsty bard was the Alan Whicker of Scotland’s highlands and islands. But Hayman is a worthy successor. His warm bath of a programme also illustrates how television has changed. Everyone Weir met looked terrified. Hayman’s interviewees are only too happy to banter on camera.

A House Through Time ‐ Tuesday, BBC Two, 9pm

The latest series of this expansive British history lesson is based in a three‐storey Victorian house in the suburbs of Leeds. As always, host David Olusoga examines the lives of those who have resided there over the years to compile a fascinating sociohistorical document. 

The very first resident was a progressive lawyer who devoted his career to protecting poor and vulnerable people. Among his successors were a ruthless factory owner, a traumatised soldier and a widowed war bride. 

Olusoga is an astute and rigorous historian. Although practiced in the art of sculpting richly detailed, colourful essays, he has no interest in sensationalism. A House Through Time is a humane endeavour; its yellowed chapters are thoughtful and revealing.

Death on the Common: My Mother’s Murder ‐ Tuesday, Channel 4, 10pm

When Alex Hanscombe was just two‐years‐old, he witnessed the murder of his mother, Rachel Nickell. Everyone who’s ever read about that awful case has wondered about the fate and wellbeing of Alex. Now, for the first time in public, he discusses what he’s been through. 

Preview copies weren’t available at the time of writing, but one assumes that Alex’s involvement in this programme speaks for itself. The synopsis suggests that it’s a sensitively‐handled endeavour. I hope so anyway, for the family’s sake. 

Alex and his father, Andre, reflect upon their lives in the everlasting wake of Rachel’s murder, while meeting up with some of the police officers and child psychiatrists who dealt with Alex at that time.

Our Lives: For Peat’s Sake ‐ Wednesday, BBC One, 7:30pm

A documentary with that punning title was always going to be made one day, but I’m glad this one stole the honour. It’s a charming excursion to the Isle of Lewis, in which the 80‐year‐old peat digger Domhnull Iain ‐ a delightful gent who could make the four‐minute‐warning sound like a source of comfort ‐ guides us through his daily activities. 

We also meet Margaret, who left her old life behind to accompany the reluctantly retirement‐bound Domhnull on this stunningly remote and tranquil terrain, plus a local radio DJ/farmer who provides the perfect country and western soundtrack. 

Like most of the epistles from this series, it’s a little window of calm.

Grenfell: The Untold Story ‐ Wednesday, Channel 4, 10pm

The Grenfell Tower fire was an appalling tragedy, a stark, shameful symbol of social inequality and neglect. This documentary honours its legacy via previously unseen footage collated by Grenfell’s artist in residence, Constantine Gras. 

Just a few years prior to the disaster, Gras embarked upon a project of vital importance. He chronicled the struggles of deeply concerned residents, all of whom were locked in an exasperating battle with the local authorities. The building was clearly unsafe, it was in dire need of refurbishment; but nothing was done. 72 people died when Grenfell Tower caught fire. 

The programme features contributions from some of those who survived. Their voices must be heard. This must never be forgotten.

LAST WEEK’S TV

Parkinson at 50 ‐ Saturday 28th August, BBC One

I’ve always had mixed feelings about Parky. He’s facilitated some memorable TV moments. He was, at his best, an undeniably skillful interviewer: ask a straightforward question, shut up and listen. Be he’s also an indefatigable curmudgeon. 

In this retrospective, which celebrated the 50^th anniversary of his chat show, he did ‐ to be fair ‐ admit that he sometimes came across as pompous. But he couldn’t quite bring himself to fully apologise for that excruciatingly sexist interview with Helen Mirren. It was considered dodgy at the time, Mike, the new‐fangled ‘woke’ police aren’t retroactively censoring you.

Anyway. His star‐spangled oeuvre was often brilliant. A greater legacy than I’ll ever have.

Vigil ‐ Sunday 29th August and Monday 30th August, BBC One

This new thriller is an unbidden gift from the producers of Line of Duty, so you know what to expect on a surface level: twists, conspiracies, and a high‐profile actor being killed off in episode one (TV’s Martin Compston in this case). But these tricks have grown tired. Vigil is a slog. 

Suranne Jones stars as a Glasgow‐based cop tasked with investigating the mysterious death of a Trident submarine crew member. She has just three days to crack this claustrophobic case.

For all its faults, Line of Duty was an audacious drama that tackled Big Themes in a vaguely subversive way. It was fun, exciting; silly in most of the right ways. This is a wholly uninvolving potboiler: Das Bore. Down periscope.